Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Ruminating On: Friends from Work

Strange Names Alert!

I will be talking about people you might have never met or have even known existed. You won't be hearing me saying my girl Avril or supah friend Gwynneth. But if you ARE human, and have friends, you still might be able to relate to my sentiments.

A person I would have very much liked to be good friends with is leaving work today. We've worked together in the past, even bonded initially in work-related events, but nothing that would lead to lasting ties. Not yet. My moving back to Operations might have remedied that, but as it happens, today is his last day too. Tomorrow, when I am officially in LRO, he won't even be officially in PBSP. Haha, funny, eh?

The thing with Iyad (that's his name) is that he's also young. And he still hasn't imbibed that Edgar Allan "Nevermore" Poe look that most of the remaining Operations members tend to wear on their faces these days. Even Ian, who's also our age, acts and speaks like a grandfather with seventeen grandchildren nowadays. Another thing is that he's also a Sixth Sense-r like me and it was kind of fun talking about weird stuff with him. Coz he understands most of it. Coz he doesn't look at me like I'm crazy when I tell him "let's scoot, we're being watched." I sort of had this scene in my head when we'll both sense a ghost haunting PBSP and we'll save everyone's lives by combatting (eh?) the malevolent spirits. Silly crazy, I know. :p But fun, isn't it? And saves one from thinking lonely thoughts, right?

The problem about having friends at work is that they're always leaving. It might be the nature of working for a competitive organization like PBSP, but it sure increases the feeling of being a fleeting microbe in a system that will survive without you.

I'm not even done with missing Gilda and Terteen yet and pop goes another weasel. Sure, Raffi is here but she's the manager and it isn't a friendship of equals. I swear, if Ian leaves, I would kill him first and he would have to haunt PBSP as a ghost.

(SCARY LAUGHTER> You're never leaving here FOREVER!!!)

No, seriously now, if Ian leaves, my friendlessness in PBSP would be utter and complete. Sure, I can make new friends, but it isn't the same, and you get me right? It wouldn't be the same comfort, it wouldn't even be the same important memories. But of course, he'd be leaving sooner or later, and no, I can't kill him (unfortunately). And me, I can't leave yet without paying back my dues. Sure, I have friends outside, them I've known longer and have built lasting ties with, but I don't see them everyday and they're not always essential to my getting through a day at work. And the nearness of them is not encompassing, They weren't there when I bawled my head off because my boss stressed me out, they weren't there when I couldn't climb up and down a mountain without a steadying hand, they wouldn't even understand the dynamics of what I do for a living. My career and my life is sooo entwined that it's very hard to separate it.

Oh god, I'm babbling. Okay.

What's that fantasy again?

Iyad and me saving everyone's lives. Let me just get back to that. Told ya. Beats thinking lonely thoughts, every single time.

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