Saturday, July 30, 2005

Like This
If anyone asks you
how the perfect satisfaction
of all our wanting
will look, lift your face
and say,
Like this.
When someone mentions
the gracefulness
of the nightsky, climb up on the roof
and dance and say,
Like this?
If anyone wants to know what "spirit" is,
or what "God's fragrance" means,
lean your head toward him or her.
Keep your face there close.
Like this.
When someone quotes the old poetic image
about clouds gradually uncovering the moon,
slowly loosen knot by knot the strings
of your robe.
Like this?
If anyone wonders how Jesus raised the dead,
don't try to explain the miracle.
Kiss me on the lips.
Like this. Like this.
When someone asks what it means
to "die for love", point
here.
If someone asks how tall I am, frown
and measure with your fingers the space
between the creases on your forehead.
This tall.
The soul sometimes leaves the body, then returns.
When someone doesn't believe that,
walk back into my house.
Like this.
I am a sky where spirits live.
Stare into this deepening blue,
while the breeze says a secret.
Like this.
When someone asks what there is to do,
light the candle in his hand
Like this.
-Rumi

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

grateful geek

I am now.... the proud owner.... of....
a cd of Neil Gaiman's Sandman Series from 1 to 74!

That is seriously major, major loot. MAJOR. That's roughly ten thousand bucks there, in that skinny disc. But the nice girl that I am (thunder, thunder), I got it for free.

Mikhail Spencer R., you've got my gigantic thanks! You're the geek, man! (That's like, a huge compliment, in the dimension my friends and I prefer to inhabit) VOTE THIS GUY IF HE RUNS FOR PRESIDENT! (ahehe... legal naman ito diba? Looks like it with all the programs it runs with.)

Hmm... now.... where are my bookworm pals to whom this heavenly treasure shall be shared with? ;)

diary of susie spacehead

Body Weight: 200+++ pounds
Brain Mass: 5 ounce

Oh goodness. This day -- it's just so --- beyond description.

I truly believe I am slowly turning dumb and dumber. How does that come about? From geeky goddess to susie spacehead??

Riding one of my perennial taxis to Makati (my only time for introspection in my godforsaken work), it dawned on me that it might just be because my brains have been dealing with splat lately. Zero challenge for the last 2 years. I mean, work is brain power, sure. But I think I need a different kind of mental exercise. Something that'll keep my thinking processes disciplined and sharp. My brain has just recognized that, in PBSP, I might have just stressed myself witless (literally).

I've even lost my edge in English. I buckle just like the next retard now. :) My choice of words have become rudimentary. Scary, huh? If I don't do anything about it soon, I'll just be as stupid as the last dodo.

It is soooo hard for me to admit this, but, I might have just read too much fantasy books and too little of everything else. Not even the newspaper, for chrissakes.

So now, I vow to undertake... Project Smarten Up.

Any ideas how? Anyone? :)

Friday, July 22, 2005

brink of the endless night

At the very last second -- just when her resolve was about to dissipate -- she jumped.

All the hues of the black night seemed to swirl about her as she fell. Her eyes, though closed, can see the star-flecked darkness as her body sped by. She was free falling to the next good place. And to herself, she kept saying over and over again, "Anywhere --- anywhere but here." On her lips, it was a prayer of salvation.

She fell for what seemed like eternity until she realized there was supposed to be a hold somewhere. A catch in time that she must reach out to so she can exit oblivion. Her hands pried the empty space in front of her, furiously searching for a latch, a thread or a rip in the fabric of the night which can stop her fall. An opening to the next world. A much hoped for escape.

She realized though that the more she flails, the harder it was to move. She stopped moving then, and forced herself to pretend she was jst floating on a dark ocean. Her searching hands went from erratic fumbling to gentle probing. Her body -- it was swimming. And her hands -- they were caressing the space as if touching a longed-for lover.

And there it was. A small hole in the inky wall that surrounds her. Enough for her littlest finger to poke through. And doing so, her fall has come to an end.

All she had to do was to open her eyes and she was there.

At the brink of the endless night. Facing the crevice filled with a million parallel dimensions. Behind her, there was a forest. Each tree had branches heavy with fruit. All ripe for her picking and choosing. The rule was you choose one. And you bite into it. That is your Dream you taste in your mouth. It becomes your life for the limited time you spend at the land of the never after. Reaching out, she plucked from a gnarled limb a silvery fruit. Its skin was swirling and alternating dark and bright. She bit into it and she was gone again for the second time.

In the world she entered, there was no light. She stumbled around as her eyes tried to search a source of illumination. It took her some time to see a faint glow from somewhere ahead of her. She took one careful step after the other. She could feel the grass crush against her bare feet. While she traversed the path, the light became dim and it started to pulse. Fading one moment and returning the next. She walked close enough to see the lake and the source of the eerie light. Her breath caught on her throat as she understood what she was seeing.

In the world she entered, the Moon was Drowning.

Mother! Sister! O Ancient One!

Near the deep part of the lake, a woman floated sans clothes. Her hair was caught amongst the rushes, and and on her waist there was a heavy chain. The Moon was trying to rise, but is pulled in deeper everytime. The pale face turned towards her and she saw the Moon's ethereal eyes pleading. Without words, the Moon screamed for help.

"Save her." said a man's voice.

She turned around to face a stranger. A shock of violet seized her as his gaze bored through her. He was tall and he was diminutive and he was white and he was dark all at the same time. "Save her, loved one." On his back, his wings unfurled. Feathered perfection, as black as his hair.

Behind him, a murder of crows rose to the skies. They crowed and they shrieked, "Now! Now!""

"The moon must rise tonight." He spoke again. " Save her, Ava."

"Now! Now! Now!"

She, Ava, tried to obey. She waded into the lake, determined to reach the drowning Moon. About her, the waters turned murkier. It began to boil. From beneath, things were rising.

"Too late." a toad croaked out. "Too late."

Suddenly, there were scores of them. All singing the same song without ceasing. "Too late. You're late." And beneath Ava, dark creatures continued to emerge from the lake.

"You must help me!" Ava cried out to the man.

Even from afar, she saw the pain in the man's eyes. "You must call me to your aid, dearest. You must call me by my name. I am powerless to help if you do not."

Ava sobbed and tried to swallow her frustration. "But I do not know your name! I do not know who you are!"

The man's face filled with grief. "But you do, my Dawning. Your heart must know."

She shook her head. Tears ran down her cheeks freely now. "I do not." She watched as the monsters from the deep approached her to block her way to the Moon. They were grotesque, each and everyone of them.

"The Moon must rise. There must be light in the darkness. Or the Gray Ones, the evil kind, will reign free. You kno what to do. You must find a way to save the Her." The man said. "If only you can remember my name, Ava. I can help you. It is I who have traded my freedom of flight to be near you. I who you have taught to speak and to touch and to live. I who was barred to you for all eternity when you chose Mortality. Know me."

The creatures were so near her now. From them, Ava felt their intent to drown her just as the Moon was. They were going to bring her down there with them. She struggled to think. The man said she knows what to do. She closed her eyes and tried to think of the field of stars in the other worlds. All her kin. In that quiet place, once again, she searched for a hand hold.

Her palms began to burn. They itched and stung. Her skin felt as if it wanted to break free. There was -- a flicker iside her. After a while it became a mounting fire that threatened to burn her inside out. Her head felt as if it will burst with pain. When she opened her eyes, she screamed. And with her voice, the sun rose from her palms and the world exploded into light.
The creatures balked.

The Moon, her light ever a reflection of the sun, soaked in the rays. It was her rejuvenator. She glowed a brighter silver. The rushes that caught her hair burnt with a silent fire that turned them white then turned them to dust. The chains about her waist glowed blue as if frozen and then broke. Redeemed, the Moon rose from the lake. She faced Ava and smiled with silent gratitude. Then she rose higher until Her light covered the world. The creatures sank down into the lake once again, frightened and beaten. The lake turned solid under the moonlight, forever sealing the monsters deep within.

And yet Ava was not saved. She was still half immersed into the hardened lake. She can still feel slippery tentacles pulling at her feet. The monsters want her to stay down there with them. The Moon was free, but now, the Star was not.

She was exhausted now. The sun she called forth expended her will and her energy. She needs help. She needs him.

As if to hear her, the Moon blew her a bauble. An jewel-orb that glowed and glided towards her then embedded itself straight into her chest. She felt the light seeping into her very center. Her soul was expanding. The walls inside her cracked until it finally gave way. Then she knew.

"Oh, Seth. To me, love. To me." her voice, tired as she was, came only as a whisper. Her eyes closed and she felt herself sinking. But she heard the unfurling of wings and she felt strong hands about her not a second later. It was only when she felt solid ground on her feet, did she dare move. She opened her eyes, and she saw him.

"Seth?"

A smile flickered on his lips. "I am here." he answered. His hands did not fall away from her. They both did not want to move.

And it was then, at that world parallel to our own -- that land at the end of the endless night -- Ava was saved.


Thursday, July 21, 2005

simple things

Book in Hand: Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Song in Mind: We’ve Got Tonight

What I want are simple things. I just dream of finding a comfortable pad all my own. I may be old enough to get out of the house, you see. I would like to strike it on my own. A small place with just enough space for a cute kitchen where I can finally force myself to learn to cook, a cozy enough couch at one corner, modest TV set with cable connection. A small room to fit my bed and a writing desk and a beanbag. And the walls are of pure white to be decorated by shelves and shelves of books, from one wall to the other. I don’t care if it looks like a library. Nor if it’s one hell of a fire hazard. I want books to fill my life. Now that nothing else can take me away from here.

But leaving the house doesn’t mean out of my family’s life. I dream of a job that could get us through this financial slump we’ve been suffering for some years now. I want my Dad to have the luxury of not to work. My Mum the choice to run her own little nursery school with all the help she needs so she can keep herself busy but not get tired that much. They both dream of a modest farm somewhere far from the hubbub of the city. It wouldn’t be anything lavish. It’ll just be plants and stuff. And maybe one horse for my dad since he adores them. I want to be financially capable to help them live longer by funding their needed operations. My Dad’s still up for a triple bypass, you see. And my Mum needs constant check-up because she used to have cancer. I want to set-up a business for my sister, so she would have a place in this crazy world. God, I want to do everything I can to prevent them from going through this… this… challenges we face now. I would move heaven and I would move every mountain on earth if I could, just so they won’t have to be encumbered. But laboring is hard, and times aren’t fair.

And love? I don’t know. I don’t think I want that now. Makes you silly, that nonsense. But if I were to have someone, he doesn’t need to be brilliant anymore. I have had too much disappointments with people who are so talented, but just as self-consumed by the same gift I admire in them. Simple, honest and solid. Maybe that’s my best hope. I mean, we can’t all marry Prince William.

I used to dream of the wild dreams of passion and the extravagant rewards of fame and fortune. I am a child who dreamt of becoming a celebrated actress in Hollywood. Or a famous eccentric playwright and novelist. Or a well-paid artist whose paintings express the very soul of life and of death. I wished all those things. I wished them with all of my heart. But the very same heart is tired now. Am weary. All I wish for now is a moderate life. A complacency that is beyond this never-ending struggle.

Sad, they say, to hear it from someone so young. But young is not an excuse to dream anymore. Dreams, they must come at their own accord. They must be lived. And now, I am bereft of it, save for this. Let it be simple. Let it be true.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Geeky Guys

Book in Hand: Reave the Just by Stephen Donaldson
Song in Mind: Can't Fight the Moonlight by LeAnn Rimes

I can't believe I totally forgot to include Professor Lupin from Harry Potter in my list of good guys in fantasy. And I don't mean that screwy, stringy guy they portrayed him in the last Potter movie. The Lupin I imagined him to be was really more of a thinner Hugh Jackman.

Anyway, that completely sealed my fate as a geeky girl. People who know me and who read this blog will make it known officially... as if the blog title wasn't enough to tip them off. :)

Am officially hating Mondays. Today, I woke up still thinking about the last Joey episode. It was a re-run last night, but it was okay since it was the very first and I never caught that. It's not as good as Friends was, but it still cracks me up. Watching the series has become part of my Sunday routine, just as much as CSI is (all three in consecutive airing times! yey!).

Today, an onslaught of work just caught me off-guard... yet again. As ever the last few blasted days. What I can't believe still is that it really does NEVER end. People do deal with life this way.. one challenge after the next without reprieve and with very little succor. Good lords. HOW IN THE FREAKING WORLD DID WE MANAGE TO SURVIVE CENTURIES???

I wonder if Einstein was ever this burdened. Or Mozart. I believe it was said they were. So even being a genius doesn't excuse your from hell. What does then? Not being human may be one, for starters.

Ahhh, I rant. Life's one whole ranting rampage. What to cool me down? Hmmm... lemme see.
THis picture might just do the trick:

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Freaking, right I was. Tricksy.
Goodnight, one and all!

Sunday, July 17, 2005

After the Dream is Done

Not hide nor shadow.

That's what I saw of Neil Gaiman. Well, alright, to be more accurate, I did see a flash of moppy hair and the shockly pasty white face (it can be due to the poor lighting in Fully Booked) of the Genius-who-is. And I bet a gazillion to one, I was able to breathe in at least a couple of molecules of recycled air he breathed in. That's fine for me. I mean, I know how Neil Gaiman looks like. There are such things as pic-tures. I just wanted to be able to assure myself that he's real. And that it is possible for just one man to create magnificent characters such as Dream. So now I know.

He's real. I just wish Dream was too. *sigh* Now people are going to say I have absolutely gone bonkers. Instead of real people, Liv chooses to emulate un-real ones. I hear choruses of Freud, Jung and whatshissface being screamed from aloft. Sue me, I say. SOmetimes we need illusional characters to remind us of how humans should be . Or what possibe existence we can achieve. B'sides, it isn't something new. I grew up in love with Walter Blythe of Rainbow Valley (for those who have absolutely no idea who he is -- read the Anne of Green Gables series).

Haha. The simplicity of youth. I wonder, if I make my list now, at this age.... who would my list of top five hunks in literature (taken across genres) be? To make it a bit faster, at least for today, maybe I should concentrate on the top 5 guys in fantasy lit first. Lemme see...

Morpheus / Dream


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Dream is Dream. He is one of the Endless -- who are more accurately described as the states of human consciousness. Neil Gaiman is a genius for personifying them, making them more real and more tangible in the physical world. They are "of humans" but not humans, they cannot die for in fact they were never born. Dream is brother to Destiny, Death, Destruction, Desire, Despair and Delirium. In books, they keep saying he's a tad to neurotic, a bit too pretentious, always somber, always dark. He's got stars for his eyes and he talks as if constantly confused. The questions he asks though are of no ordinary nature. I like him for being the nearest thing to being human in his whole kin. And his Realm is my most favorite place of all. That place where nothing of this world can reach you and harm you. There's just you. And your Dreams.


Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson

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Aside from being a huge Neil Gaiman fan, I'm also a gigantic Terry Pratchett fan. He's irreverent, he's satirical, he's positively witty. And he created from the depths of his creative prowess the character of Carrot Ironfoundersson.

Carrot, as the name implies, is a redhead, of course. He's not categorically handsome, but he's got an honest face, and authority and charisma to boot. He's also a broad-shouldered 6-foot 6-inch dwarf. Rather, he was adopted by dwarves when he was found near the murdered remains of his human father and mother along with a ring that bears a mark that looks suspiciously alike the royal jewels of Ankhmorpork (I don't know where Pratchett gets the name of his cities, but I like it). So clue for the clueless: He's the rightful heir to a throne. But upon reaching manhood, he chose to be a Watchman (local police) and refuses to be acknowledged as king. It's one huge open secret. Anyway, to borrow words from Pratchett: Carrot *likes* being a policeman and has been the driving force behind the renaissance of the City Watch. He is honest, decent, truthful, and simple. A number of surprised criminals in Ankh-Morpork have learned that simple doesn't mean stupid and, indeed, people who spend a lot of time in Carrot's company suspect that there is quite a formidable intelligence in there, playing a game of its own. Carrot has an ancient sword. It is astonishingly unmagical, but amazingly sharp.

In fewer words, this is how I describe him: Too good to be true, but almost. Just fascinatingly almost.


Rath Roiben Rye
(from the book Tithe by Holly Black)

Yet another name unrecognized? Great, I hate being predictable when I write. There wouldn't be any Legolas listed in here (for those who are hoping).

My man here's a faerie. I don't mean the gender-related kind. He's a former knight of the Seelie Court, or what those who like to keep it simple call, the Good Court. But even then, they are not all the twinkly kind. Roiben for example is of the fey court -- the Gentry-- his long pewter hair and angled face and all. He looks much like how Tolkien describes elves, except that they are not always emanating happiness and goodwill.

Roiben was swapped by the Queen of the Seelie Court to the Usseelie Court, who are cruel and vicious. He plays bodyguard to the Queen of the UNseelie Court. That is until he met Kaye, who was a swapped fairy in place of a yearling (y'know, stolen babies. there's a more accurate word for this, but i forgot). She tries to defy the Queens of the Courts and Roiben ends up aiding her and becoing King of the Unseelie Court himself. Read the book and you would not blame Kaye for falling in love with this guy. He's not all goody-goody, but decent, which to me is far better.

Touchstone
(from the book Sabriel by Garth Nix)

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Okay, this guy is not really the heroic type at first, but you can hardly blame him since he was enchanted to be as still as stone for a number of centuries and he ended up as prow decor for a ruined ship. ANd he was naked all that time. So come on.

I raised my eyebrows when he was finally awakened by our heroine Sabriel, because he started moving about without a stitch on him. I mean, for Sabriel, called to Abhorsen/necromancer-duty and there she was barely out of an all-girls school, that is something. How can she not marry this guy in the end when he just about sets the standard for everything ? Hehe. Love this guy. Can't marry him, but he's, what's that word, again? DECENT.


Aragorn

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I said there'll be no Legolas in this list, but there most definitely is an Aragorn. I wouldn't be tru to the list if he's not here. Him, so kingly above all kings in fantstic lit. He's strong, he's wise, he's ever so capable. Everyone knows a lot about who Aragorn is and there is always something they like about this character. Even without the Jackson movie, he's still beyond any lists.

Lucky Arwen.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

the sandman comes

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The veritable god (read: creator) of the Sandman Comic Book series is in Manila.

HE'S HERE IN MANILA!!

By whatever fluke or freakish event that brought him here, I remain a humbled, awed and grateful supplicant. I have to go see Neil Gaiman! Although it looks like I won't be able to get any of my books signed, I think I will be content with just seeing him and maybe hearing a talk or two.

Book club to Gateway Mall. Tomorrow at 5-ish. Bring your ultimate geekish demi-god self and meet the GENIUS-who-is.

So mote it be.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Rambling Recalcitrant

I'm sorry for the question I posted about Sodom. Last night, I figured out the actual answer why. Nobody bother answering, okay? :)

Had a terrifyingly harassed day today. I just wonder if this is how life is for most people? It sure sucks. It can't just be happening to me, I'm sure. When I was younger, I had dreams of loving my work. Of actually enjoying it day in and day out. But the one job I know will keep me happy is an extremely hard one and pays so little. I cannot just write. A sad truth. So I have to keep the job that pays.

Tonight, I have been browsing through some of my old works. There were so many back then. In high school, I must've churned out a story a month. And those were goddamned novelettes. Of course they have the depth equal to nil, but it was the mental exercise that I miss. Nowadays, I feel guilty when I even dare imagine a story. Not with this overwhelming details I must look to at work...

But of course, not to imagine would be not to breathe for me. SO I feel like I'm living a criminal life everytime I try to create stories. This ain't a way to live.

Others would just tell me... so just write.

Ha. Why d'you think I have a hyperactive blog life?

This is all I can do for now. A bit of journal keeping on the net. And a couple of stories once in a while. Maybe for now, it's enough.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Noted

I've been wondering....

Dear reader, have you ever tried clicking those links under my blogster sidebar? I just visited all of them today and I realized I have the weirdest set of friends. We often never share the same opinion, but we survive being acquainted, and sometimes, even being great friends with each other.

Like for example, Sep just totally razed War of the Worlds in her last entry, and there I was last Tuesday saying I actually liked it.

I know, I know. That's normal. Or usual. In my world, nothing is normal nga pala. But I find it fascinating.

Anyway....

GLORIAGATE

Nakakahiya ako. I teach civil welfare, I work in a development org, I am a CSWCD UP graduate... and I absolutely have no idea what GLORIAGATE is. That is, until last Saturday. Yesterday talaga, sobrang naghabol ako sa mga newspapers. I ahve to understand what the deal is. Moreover, I have to make a stand.

Sobrang engrossed na ko with the trivialities of my work that I cannot seem to balance it out with the real world anymore. I mean, a lying president is a big thing. I should know that. Shet, I should hate that. And idagdag mo pa all the oppositionists who are playing the scandal up to their heart's desire. Ang gulo, gulo, gulo, gulo. But all I can care about right now is PLDT and their school building project in Malabon and celebrating MVP's birthday next week with this med/dental feeding mission thing.

What's the point of my doing all this "noble" things if I have lost my perspective on why I'm doing it in the first place? Hala, I don't want to be like those in the government. All mouth and all talk, pero yung action nila empty and meaningless. I don't want to be a freaking robot.


WAITING FOR SODOM

What is Sodom nga pala? One of those ruined cities in the Bible? Then why the hell did I just say I was waiting for it?

I guess, what I'm waiting is for all of it to end. What? BAsta lahat.

Pero tanong lng, baka may nakakaalam. Bakit tinawag na sodomy and sodomy at ano ang relasyon niya sa Sodom?


GALING

Mon Isberto is PLDT / SMART's Public Affairs Head. He used to be on this morning news show, I forgot which one. This morning during the Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) Expo in Westin Phil. Plaza, he gave a speech about Bottom-of-the-Pyramid Approach to development. The main point being that dev't efforts haven't reached their targets because the support of the private sector is taken as and / or. Not as a must. He said we must take it from below, make it more accessible to more people. Not just big companies, I guess, but small and medium enterprises. Which is the case for PBSP naman. What I liked about his presentation was the fact that he has good command of his voice, he used the stage effectively by breaking away from the rustrum and used good materials for his subject. He's a really good speaker. He reminds me of my Dad.

Later this afternoon, I met with him and Ms. Del Rosario in his office to present details about our education project. Ewan ko if it was right to praise him about his presentation. The last thing I want to sound like is a suck-up. Pero ako kasi, I don't give empty praises. I find it plastic kasi. I just really had to tell him he was great earlier that morning. Anyway, I just hope that someday I can have the same confidence and sense of authority that he's got. Right now, I catch myself talking like a simpering fool. But I'm trying to work on it so that I can be a lion someday too.

And this reminds me about the one aspect I find fascinating with PBSP work. You get to meet all these successful people, minus the red tape. I'm not one who likes to name drop. But if I did, I'd probably be like a kid in a candy store. Now that i think about it, how normal is it to be in texting terms with CEOs, much less in greeting terms with them when one is just a greenhorn? Understand that this is normal in PBSP. I'm not in any way special or above others. It's just the way the org works. Someone as unexperienced like me can actually be presenting and talking with presidents and ambassadors isn't such an unusual thing. Kaya nga siguro, people say we have good training here.

The good thing about this is that I can find mentors anywhere. Meeting and talking with these good and great people lends me a window to how things could turn out to be for me and my friends. I have to say, the future looks not so bleak. InPsych, didn't they say Modeling is a primary factor in acquiring habits? Ergo, if I choose who to emulate carefully amongst the so many I get to meet, I might have a chance at greatness someday as well.

Ahhhh... here's really hoping. :)

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

War of the Worlds at ang Pagdating ni Emong

Hindi ko sigurado kung bakit ko masyadong na-enjoy ang War of the Worlds ni Steven Spielberg. Sa tutoo lang, kung isa kang kritiko, napakahirap magsabi na natuwa ka sa isang pelikula dahil maaring mayroong hindi sumang-ayon sa iyo at lumabas na napakababaw mo lang na tao. Kaya nga siguro, pag may isang pagpupuna ng pelikula, kadalasan, puro kamalian ang binabanggit naming mahilig mampuna. Hindi kasi masyadong nakataya ang iyon dignidad. Kapag may hindi sumang-ayon sa iyong hindi kaaya-ayang sanaysay, ang iisipin nla isang napaka-pesimistiko mo lang na tao. Pero pag pinuri mo ang isang pelikula at may hindi natuwa --- kredibilidad mo bilang kritiko ang nakasalalay.

Kaya nga minsan, napakahirap magbigay ng puna. Kung bakit ba kasi isa akong napakalaking masokistang manunulat na pilit gumagawa ng mga sanaysay ukol sa mga kuro-kurong hindi naman sang-ayon ang lahat. Pero, kapag hindi ko ito ginawa, magsisinungaling ako sa sarili ko.

Kaya nga ngayong sinasabi ko na nagustuhan ko ang War of the Worlds (Ang Gyera ng mga Mundo??) ay itinataya ko ang kredibilidad ko. Hindi ko naman sasabihin na perpekto siya, dahil kahit papaano, nakilala ko ang mga elemento ng komersyalismo sa bagong likha ni Spielberg. Ngunit kapani-paniwala siya kahit naiba ng kaunti anh istoryang nilathala ni HG Wells. May mga bagay na hindi laging magkakaugnay o naipaliwanag ng mabuti, ngunit nandun ang kakayahan nitong akitin ka upang tuluyang ilublob ang sarili sa mundo ni Ray Ferrier (Tom Cruise). Magaling din ang artistang mga bata. Nakakapanindig balahibo ang mga imaheng ipinakita ng pelikula.

At higit sa lahat, nabigyan ako nito ng pagkakataong umalis sa mundong kinalalagyan ko, patungo sa isang lugar na may taong mas nahihirapan pa kaysa sa atin sa tutoong buhay.

Natuwa talaga ako.

Sana panoorin nyo, at sana matuwa rin kayo.

Wag lang sana kumikidlat at bumabagyo pag labas niyo ng sinehan (tulad ng nangyari sa akin at ang bagyong Emong) dahil baka mabigla kayo na tulad ko na naisip na ---

Oh my gosh. Thunder, don't do that to me, ha... You're like, freaking me out.

:)

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Tales of the City

Book in Hand: A Girl's Guide to Fishing and Hunting by Melissa Bank
Song in Mind: That song by Hale


In Binondo, Find Your Heart's Desire

A couple of weeks ago, Gilda and I were just talking about walking through Binondo one of these days just to enjoy its uniqueness. Yesterday, we both had to deposit a check in the bank so we decided to walk. I have a feeling it's the closest thing we can have to fulfilling our "dream". Anyway, after the bank, we made our way to Eng Bee Tin as well to buy some of their famous hopia. On the way back to the office, I browsed through a nearby store and found a pair of earphones -- a bargain for P 120. Been wanting to buy that for the longest time since I found that music is an excellent therapy for stressful office days. That hub of old Manila is simply --- i don't know --- intoxicating. And I don't mean the stench from the filthy streets (its infamous characteristic). It's really more of the variety you can find and the directness of the business establishments there. You won't find flashy store window displays. You want something, then take your time finding it. Haha! An OC persons nightmare. But to someone like me who've been hard-pressed for some personal time, or space to think about other things aside from work or problems, sifting through strange stuff is highly hypnotic. I can just immerse myself and totally lose myself in the activity.

So what is my heart's desire which I found while taking a walk through the Manila Chinese district?

Temporary peace of mind.

Armpit Brew

Eeeyuch. Rode the MRT last Thursday and I had to stand in what can be best described as Armpit Central for thirty minutes. We were sardines in a can. My butt was pressed up against some girls back (she was short), and I had to avoid being unintentionally harassed by the man in front whose hand is just inches away from my crotch. Not supposed to be hard if it wasn't just inhumanely cramped. Some people even chose not to hold on to the rails anymore. There wouldn't be any space for you to fall into anyway. And the stench. Funny how people smell, huh? Someone really smelled sour and sweaty that night.

Got me to thinking about how we were never briefed about this part of adult life. In movies, we get the glamorous idea that everything's funky when you're up and about on your own. What they don't show are moments like that one I was stuck in.

Lost in a mass of humanity. All struggling to survive like mice in a glass cage, trying to find a way up or way out. Sweaty in the effort. Forced into situations you'd rather not be in (like an 8 pm ride in the MRT). I knew Peter Pan had it right after all.

I never should have grown up.


From Rubber Shoes to Marriage

Don't ask me how the conversation got there. First, we were talking about Ian's spunky new rubber shoes and then he and Eman were suddenly talking about their love lives. They both had stories. I don't. Or maybe, I did. But I am so deathly tired and ill of speaking of it. Then from love lives, the conversation moved on to marriage. *shrug* The only thing I had to share was that I still believe I'd be the last one to marry amongst my original high school barkada. I was born because my Mother promised God I'd be a nun when I grow up. Maybe, just maybe, there ain't nobody out there for me because nuns aren't supposed to marry anyway. Hehe.

Anyway. I think that ---

Ian's shoes are flabbergastingly expensive. Screw love stories and marriage. For now, this is all I know.


And the Kitten Lay Dead on The Road

Last night, I was actually in a good mood when Daddy picked me up on the way home. But, somewhere along the way, I saw a kitten lying in the middle of the road. A tiny little thing, the poor creature could've fitted in my palm. She (I happen to assume it was a she) wasn't mangled and bloody yet. She looked like she just fell asleep there, amidst the screeching wheels and the bleeping metal monsters.

I saw a brief glimpse of her as the headlights of the car sweeped through the road and I suddenly wanted to cry. Don't actually understand why. It wasn't as if she's the first road kill I ever saw in my life. Took me some time to realize why it hurt me so much. The words came to me like razor-edged swords.

Inocence is dead.


Respect for the Loser

I got angry with my class today. So noisy. I can tell they don't se me as a figure of authority. I didn't know how else to handle it, short of strangulating the noisemakers themselves. Made some loser-speech about please respect your classmates, please respect me. Probably didn't work. I could've been better off hacking the doors down and screaming "Egads, Gonads!"

Nuts. Plain nuts.


Mr. and Mrs. Smith

John Smith is a common American Name. Jane Smith is just as un-unique. Take away the pretty people playing the lead roles, and Mr. and Mrs. Smith is just another movie. Un-amazing. Completely forgettable. The action shots are tired old things. Choreography of the stunts were bordering on cheesy. And the romantic aspect failed to give off the right "kilig" factors. Two words can describe this film : Ho hum.


Love Me If You Dare

Now here's an exciting movie! Two kids loves to play the "I Dare" game. As they grow older, their dares become more complicated, stakes become higher. Took them a long time to be with each other. This is a french film with English subtitles. It's not exactly superbly crafted, but it was waaaaaay better than Barbie and Ken that is Angelina and Brad in the other movie. Interesting, you guys should try to watch it sometime.


Trusty Pinoys

Just watched a tv documentary where a girl was made to drop her wallet for someone else to find in the streets of Manila. Then they counted how many people actually returned the wallet to the girl.

65 Pinoys gave it back. 15 did not.

Given that this is just random sampling and cannot in any way beconsidered as a general reading, it's still nice to think that we Pinoys can be trusted to do the good thing after all. Weird news to hear when i just heard from Diane that she lost her cellphone to a pickpocket last week.

Reminded me of the time when a guy seated next to me in a jeepney did not notice that his cellphone slipped out of his trouser pockets. When he got off, I saw the cellphone on the seat he just vacated. I am mortified to say this, but it took me one whole second to decide whether to call him back or not. One second of doubt is enough time for doing wrong. With that time, I already had the idea that maybe I can keep it for myself. I'm sorry, I'm just human. But some other-self took over, and I started calling out to the guy and then screaming for the driver to stop.

Still, I never looked at myself the same way ever again. Maybe I'm over reacting, but imagine living your whole life believing that you will always choose right over wrong. But then one second is all it takes to bring it almost crashing down. If temptation can win you over in a second, then thank God angels are a nanosecond faster than that. :)