Saturday, October 27, 2007

I Want My Yaya Back!

Okay.... this is going to sound waaaaay immature. But Ella and I both work miles away from home and we get back to Fairview in the wee hours of the night. The next morning, we have to wake up at 4:30 and leave by 5:30 a.m. Saturdays, I teach in La Salle the whole day. Sundays, God, would you want to work your ass of after a hectic week like that? Where, in God's good earth, can we find the time and energy to: pick up dog poop, feed the dogs, tend the garden, wash clothes, iron clothes, cook, and still have some space to breathe before knocking off?

I don't know. I freakin' don't know!!! I want Ate Josie back! My parents had to send her home 3 years ago because we didn't have money to pay her anymore... and they needed their medicines more. She was with us for 11 years. But now... I'm hoping we can try to get her back. I have convinced myself that I just don't want a maid, but we need it. The house needs it. It's falling apart.
I have learned more about running a household in 10 months than I have ever had in my 25 years. My parents gone and everything --- it really tends to sober you up and somebody had to bear the brunt of responsibility. But--- please, dear Lord, I can't do it alone!
Now, action. I must take action.

I'll scream with all my might (withmatching tears, tears pa sa eyes): Yaya, come back!

Friday, October 26, 2007

A Bit of a Blog Slow Down

Yes, if you've noticed my lagging posts, it's because I do have a more demanding work life than I ever had in my old unit. And so far, I'm still enjoying it.

Another thing is: I'm getting so attached to the gym. Yes!!! A gym! Me, working out! Doing cardio, lugging weights around, sweating.... no, you're not hallucinating.

Ganito pala if you're losing pounds:

-I can wear prettier clothes.
-People take a second look at you and not because you resemble Roseanne Barr.
-I feel lighter, and can even run faster now.
- I just feel better.

From size 22, I am now down to size 18. I don't deprive myself of sweets or fats: i just take lesser portions. And I think my oral hypoglycemic medicines are also helping. I have lost 13 pounds and people I know are starting to notice.

The one person I want to notice though... is still obstinately clueless. Argh.

Oh well. Lemme reap the benefits. Baka he'll notice my new confidence and finally konk his head. :P

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Romancing the Ordinary

I'm trying to jog my brains so I could find new topics to talk about. My emo stuff can get boring --- I KNOW, and I could only talk about the frustrations of falling in love like... seven hundred times... until it gets stale. I need new words. I need new inspiration.

So I think I'll dwell on my favorite phrase: Romancing the Ordinary.

There is a book like that and it was authored by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Find the wonderful book if you can. When my Mummy gave it to me for my 20th birthday, it changed my life. It's not at all a spiritual book, but it helped me find my spirituality. I think it even helped me find myself --- and get a glimmering of who I am supposed to be.

The point is simple: find magic in ordinary things. That is the KEY to a happy life. We all live our lives waiting for the wonderful and the brilliant. But that comes to us in maybe 10% out of the 100% of our lives. And that's talking in averages. And so, a lot of people end up not feeling like they are living a life. Most of the time, it just feels like they're waiting for something to happen. WHich isn't bad altogether, but it just isn't the same as realizing that to live life, one should appreciate every detail of it. Even the mundane, glamorless aspects that makes up our daily lives.

I have a lot of reason to keep feeling blue. And sometimes, I indulge in the sadness. But it feels different when you learn to appreciate simple stuff like:

1) hot warm bath
2) a friend's heartfelt goodbye greeting
3) a funny text message
4) walking down a tree-lined street
5) cool airconditioning in nice, shiny malls
6) watching 2 strangers (a girl and a boy) in a mock fight but the truth is they're being pa-cute with each other
7) Looking eye to eye with a 5-year old kid at the back of his Dad's motorbike and making him smile (although I was thinking it was kind of dangerous for him to be there at all)
8) nice-looking boys at the gym (but they're all probably gay)
9) men looking at me as if they think I'm pretty (they probably think otherwise, but I can pretend, eh?)
10) Strawberry shake and bibingka!!!
And that's just a short list for what I found wonderful the last 2 days.

There's a lot of nice, quirky, hilarious stuff you could list down and if you look back, it kind of makes you feel --- Ok. Content. Not bad.

Which is just good. Not bad. Eh? :P

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Keep Away!

Oh doesn't this speak for me right now?!

Give me a mallet and I'll make quick with this pesky little brat.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Davao Day 2, 3 & 4

Absolute sorriness....

My uncle's dsl connection went haywire the last few days as if deliberately keeping me away from the net. Which is good because it flung me to other better things. Like enjoying our vacation.

Samal Island was great! I wish I was able to download the pics already but I made a mistake. I took videos pala and not stills. Kainis. So I won't even be able to show you the pics. Argh. Believe me, I did this all day today:

Anyway, we also went to visit the following places:

1. Crocodile Farm - much nicer than the one in Palawan, but much more expensive too. Entrance fee costs P100 for adults and P 50 for kids.

2. Paradise BEach Resort in Samal Island- from Davao, you only have to take a 12-peso ride on a boat, pay a P90 entrance fee and you are in an island paradise. :P Nice

3. Butterfly Farm - just like the one in Palawan.

4. NCC Mall, Gaisano Ilustre and opkors, SM< Davao - wala lang, can't get the mall rat culture out of my system talaga

5. Bangkerohan - and got myself 4 shirts (na pwede panglakad) for only P 10 amd P25 pesos. Astig!

6. Jack's Ridge and Dencio's - la lang, for the view

7. And best of all, our house in Davao which reminds me of how we used to be when the family was whole. :)

I'll try to grab stills from my freken videos, k? But if I do not succeed, know that I suck. :P

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Davao Day 1

Madayaw Davao!

We're here in Davao with our uncle and aunt, and so far everything's swell! I never expected to find a warm family we'll immediately feel comfortable with, but we did.

Anyhow, today's gonna be full. We expecty to go to:

1. The numerous ukay-ukays enough to make Ella brim with happiness twice over
2. Get our teeth fixed/ cleaned (our aunt's a dentist)
3. Go to San Pedro Cathedral
4. Other surprises we are yet to imagine. :)

Will try to get as many pics as possible/

Ciao for now. :P

Monday, October 08, 2007

Literary Sketches (LitSket)

LitSket 1: Best Mocha Latte You Ever Had

The last time I drank this evil stuff, I was 18 and in-love with Joseph Fernandez. He was tall and coffee-skinned and he had the deepest-set eyes imaginable on a guy without looking like a gal. We were working on a PoliSci mini-thesis and had been deliberating about how much moral ascendancy of government leaders can be considered as healthy. There wasn't much argument then. I was just too willing to agree with his points. After that semester, I heard he went for a girl I knew from high school --- stating that he always liked smart girls who challenges his mind. It doesn't matter now that I have always beaten that girl in every school debate she ever joined or that she once asked me for help with her Science project. She challenges his mind. I bored him to death.

I can't believe I have been so moronic about love.

And yet now, this.
I am drinking an overpriced Mocha Latte listening to you wax poetic about the finer points of Angel Locsin's body. I cringe inside everytime you say words like "slim, " tight" and "fine." I keep looking down at my bloated stomach and my heart sinks seven inches each time. I want to ask "Why are you telling me this? What makes you think I care about Angel Locsin?"

But I know it's because I had always been the guy-ish gal, the one boys like unloading their emo-shit on, because they know I can listen, and that I'm safe. Safe because, it's not like they'll ever court me, and their secrets will remain latent and would not pose a threat to their love pursuits.

I nurse my coffee with fingers growing increasingly numb. You have shifted your topic to Joyce Jimenez' smashing comeback.

I nod and smile and drink from my cup. I swirl the liquid in my mouth, it's dark descent toward my stomach as warm and nascent as the dark desires I'll never taste. The heat gathers in my stomach and lingers. This is the best coffee I ever had.

I suppose the last thing you ever had would always be the best. If you'd only give me 5 seconds to speak, I can tell you this is the last time I am drinking from the bitter cup. I'm giving up on caffeine and bannoffee pies, love and its malevolent sisters that drags you down to the deep.

And I will never return.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Coming Home

I think my sister and I are ready to come home.

We've been staying with an uncle for the last 6 months, and something recently told us we weren't expected to stay there forever. I just miss our house too much; and when we need to travel back to my uncle's, leaving is always so hard.

We're ready to return. Instead of seeing it as a mausoleum, we now see it as a testament of love from our parents to us. Now isn't that the best indicator we can now handle going back?

And the most lovely thing about it is this: we're being welcomed with open arms.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Better Quicker

Not so dreary today.

You know what? Ian pulled it off! We got what we wanted from the PMPMI deal, and my palabok wasn't even needed. I knew he had it in him. Not so disappointed at all. I just have to keep reminding myself to trust my instincts, AND to never regret trusting others too much. Not my good friends. I reall meant it when I said I'll protect his back. I just have to trust that sometimes, people can really try to protect mine too. :P

And, the PMPMI thing isn't turning out to be as bad as I hoped. Teaches me to think that as long as we're prepared and we're little rays of sunshine, very few people can hate us or accost us.

Vamanos, amigos! Have to go. :P

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Just A Quick Stop

Okay, before we go to another stressful day in PMPMI, I'm signing on to just say I'm okay although pissed off.

At PM because they're such slave drivers (well, at least 1 of them there).
A little dissapointed in Ian because he's, well... such a baby sometimes.
At the world, because it's never fair.

A lot of things.

But since I claim to be a positivist, I'm letting it go and letting a brand new day start.

Putting on the smile now and the good day starts now...