Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Paranoid and Anachronistic... I'm Honored

Book in Hand: Turncoat by Jim Butcher
Song in Mind: Come Closer by Rico Blanco (Awoooooo... what you do to me...)

If you’re twenty-something like me, and feeling a little lost like me, and maybe just a tad bit paranoid like me… you would have noticed that without meaning to, you’re starting to sound like your parents.

Honestly, I thought it wouldn’t start until I was well into marriage with a kid of my own who I’d have to stay vigilant against grime, mayonnaise and boo-boos for. But the voices in my head, although undeniably mine, sounds like something I have heard before. Be it my father’s mantra about carelessness: “Ay, na lang ba ang kapalit?” to my mother’s colorful description of people such as “naka-isputing at namumukadkad ang kulay ng karsunsilyo” --- I find myself repeating their pet expressions even if I could handily and more fashionably replace it with OMGs and That’s Hot.

It could be that I’ve advanced to this stage because they both are not with me anymore, and I find some mean comfort in repeating their words, much like touchstones that could magically transform nonsense into full sensibility. But I think, aside from the early on-set, everyone would go through this stage of repetition. Why? Because it feels safe. Because we once believed it was true. We once used their worldview to create ours. No matter how sucky your parents were, they have molded a part of you to be like them. And no matter how gone they could be, the mere words itself bring you back to a time and place where people knew better than you and you trusted them. A place far removed from where you are right now. I would know.

So, all that means for me is I have a lifetime of surprising myself with paranoid and anachronistic expressions which sounds more suitable to a post-war fuddy-daddy. I don’t mind. When it comes to parents, I won the Super Lotto. They’re cream of the crop. Top banana with peaches on top. Extreme goodness and freshness guaranteed, as well as organic and pesticide free --- which probably contributed to the short shelf life. Ha.

Yet, turning to one of them would be an honor indeed.

Monday, June 15, 2009