Wednesday, July 17, 2013

How I plan to get married

(Inspired by a link shared by a common friend of Ian and I --- Thanks, Elaine)

It has come up, it did.

My boyfriend and I have skimmed through the M word for some time now, and making itty bitty smattering of plans that more or less falls on the other side of the line of our relationship. I am glad that our plans constitute of real things like where should we live, where our kids will study, who will be good cop or bad cop to the children. I think it's so much better than just talking about the wedding ceremony itself. I don't care a fig if Ian wears an Armani suit or something bought during the further reduction sale of Marks and Spencers. I don't need a Vera Wang gown, and I don't want fakey grated styrofoam posing as falling snowflakes to annoy my tropical climate guests.

I know that girls are stereotyped to be the kind of creatures that  keeps Dream Wedding Journals since they were 8 years old. But I have always had what I thought to be a healthy disdain for big weddings. My own parents had a simple church wedding and small reception. And look what happened --- they got forever, that's what. The grandiosity of a wedding does not have any effect on the length of a marriage at all. So why bother, eh?

To make it meaningful, they say. But is the meaning in the event or in the union itself? Is the purpose of a wedding ceremony to entertain and feed multitude of guests, or to invite people to share in their happiness any way they can?

Recently, Ian said his mom is willing to give us a generous sum of money for our wedding. And my reaction was: Wow, great! That'll be useful as downpayment for our condo unit. The wedding? We will eat fishballs during the wedding and we will be happy because we are eating together along with some of our closest friends.

Here's my plan so far (of course, this may change a little, but the general idea hopefully holds):

A nice chapel in Tagaytay or somewhere similarly cool, with a friend-priest officiating the ceremony.
Guests will be asked to wear their decent but comfortable picnic clothes.
Bridesmaids will wear pretty sundresses and groomsmen will wear button-down shirts and slacks. ALL of them will wear shades in all the photos.

For the reception ceremony: Guests will be about 100.
Venue is near the chapel and has a wide open space with nice chairs and colorful tableclothes and my only concession to decorations would be all in the spirit of shabby chic and world traveler. Food will not be hotel food, but potluck. I know that sounds hardcore, but seriously. Invited guests will be asked to prepare and bring their own picnic baskets designed to feed 4-5 people. We will have some back up simple fares prepared but the idea is for guests in each table to share their baskets with the others seated with them. En pointe: Life's a picnic if we allow it to be. :D
There will be no friggin' kooky games or doves flying.
I don't need a very expensive and exquisitely pretty but quite inedible cake. I want yumminess.
Artist friends can sing for us. Verbose people could speak, if they want to. But nothing else. No wedding singers who doesn't know me from Adam. Although if Adam Levine can sing during my wedding, that would be ohwsum!

Oh and did I say I want a dawn wedding? Hehehe...

Yup. Bright and early people. :D

I know this sounds so extreme to some who have always dreamt of taffeta and lace. But I want something festive, Filipino, and simple. Call it barrio-tic, I don't care. Watch us make it work. It's all in the ambiance and spirit. And of course, the good cheer and love of the people who will make the effort to be with us on that day.

In lieu of gifts of oven toasters and ice cream makers, we will launch a social media contest to fund our honeymoon. I will ask Ian if we could prepare two itineraries,  and ask friends to donate to the itinerary they think is more awesome instead of buying us gifts. I'm going to ask my sister to oversee this so that up to our actual wedding day, we won't know which of the two options we will be going to. Now that's a welcome surprise gift :D

What do you think friends? Will you help me make this work? :D Don't worry, we still have a looooooooooooottt of time. :D