Sunday, April 25, 2004

Mind? Mind's Gone

Book in Hand: The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke
Song in Mind: a noisy humdrum of protestations against the setting of the sun!!!
Words in Mouth: To live would be an awfully big adventure!

Aaargh....... I'm 22 years old. I should be over and beyond this... this...obsession!
But I have to meet this guy. I have to meet this guy. Argh. And to have him so available, just right there, one person away is just purely irritating.

Spell of protection over house is really weakening and i need to recast it soon. Last night both Ella and I had weird dreams. Bad signs, bad signs.

And I sound like Cordelia from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I am going insane. Sometimes, having too much soul isn't such a walk in the park.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

What Looks Like Crazy on a Crazy Day

Book in Hand: Tithe: A Modern faerie tale by Holly Black (really great read!)
Song in Mind: aherm, Broken Vow, (sporadic coughing fit follows)
Words in Mouth: Dreading Monday's return

Crazy Things Olivia Did This Week:
1) Cried (as in got all teary-eyed) because John Stevens sang so badly during the last American Idol episode (i love the guy, for heaven's sake, vote for him even if he completely sucked!) What did they expect anyway? The guy's a classic Sinatra/Groban/Bautista/Buble. Do people expect John Mayer to suddenly belt out Ain't No Mountain High Enough? Or The Great Sinatra, if he's still alive, to do a rendition of I'm A Slave For You? No, i didn't think so.

2) Went completely jologs (read: watched Star Circle Quest Contestants in their SM Fairview Mall Tour and that's not the worst of it). Wellll, really, it's my sister who likes this stuff, but I sort of want to see Hero and Sandara and Joross (kudos, Mariel's cousin!) and Roxanne. And besides, it's not everyday events happen in this far side of the world. So, I sort of squeezed myself in the audience and screamed like hell. Also, when the camera spanned, waved as well. Hell, if you get into the groove of it, really get into the groove of it, y'know what I mean. Jologs for a day and proud of it.

3) Flirted with the Pizza Hut server. Well, he's cute. And he was like all, "More iced tea, Ma'am?". ehehe, bad thing is, when I saw the bill, wasn't inclined to leave a tip. Poor soul probably cursing me right now (D'you know how much bottomless iced tea that giantess consumed?????)

4) Almost bought condoms. the short of it -- i thought they were bubble gum in the jar.

5) Watched the Buzz through and through (Kris fascinates me - so smart yet so clueless and for some weird reason I like her spirit) Plus, knowing the inside story of Piolo's "so-called-father" may come in handy someday. I look at it, as community research. Would I watch again next Sunday? Mebbe not.

All in all, I loved how my weekend fared. The whole of last week, I felt like I was just floundering around trying to survive the week til Saturday and Sunday saves me. If for anything else, I call myself the fiercest Weekend Warrior, because i try to consume each and every second of the weekend. After all, the next one is still five days away. :)

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

What Scares You

Book in Hand: Edge of Reason by Helen Fielding
Song in Mind: Hands to Heaven
Word in Mouth: Death


Yesterday, during Mass, the priest spoke of taking the difficult path as means to reaching heaven. Made me ponder what makes my life difficult. At first, I was just floating around the trivial, like having to handle the projects of Dow Chem, being fat, having very little money, not being able to buy the things I want (mostly books). Then in my mind, I began to step further from myself and I realized that the room was full of people with more or less the same difficulties. And sometimes, some of them even have to deal with a whole lot more. Stuff that makes life difficult for people began to pour into my head: sickness, poverty, depression, desperation, etc. And all these malcontent things surround us. It moves around us, wherever we may go and whenever we take our breath. And every blessed second we have to choose what we think is right. Whatever we think is good.

Every choice we make on this earth has an effect and if you really, really look at it, it's scary. This hit me with such an impact it was accompanied by blinding realization. God, people are so brave. They don't know it. They haven't realized that just the fact that they are alive, and thinking and talking, and making choices no matter how trivial, they are part of this huge exercise on courage. To think that some of us even believe we are cowards. But if they take a real good look, just the fact that they dared venture to think of cowardice makes them brave already.
Book in Hand: Edge of Reason by Helen Fielding
Song in Mind: Hands to Heaven
Word in Mouth: Death


Yesterday, during Mass, the priest spoke of taking the difficult path as means to reaching heaven. Made me ponder what makes my life difficult. At first, I was just floating around the trivial, like having to handle the projects of Dow Chem, being fat, having very little money, not being able to buy the things I want (mostly books). Then in my mind, I began to step further from myself and I realized that the room was full of people with more or less the same difficulties. And sometimes, some of them even have to deal with a whole lot more. Stuff that makes life difficult for people began to pour into my head: sickness, poverty, depression, desperation, etc. And all these malcontent things surround us. It moves around us, wherever we may go and whenever we take our breath. And every blessed second we have to choose what we think is right. Whatever we think is good.

Every choice we make on this earth has an effect and if you really, really look at it, it's scary. This hit me with such an impact it was accompanied by blinding realization. God, people are so brave. They don't know it. They haven't realized that just the fact that they are alive, and thinking and talking, and making choices no matter how trivial, they are part of this huge exercise on courage. To think that some of us even believe we are cowards. But if they take a real good look, just the fact that they dared venture to think of cowardice makes them brave already.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

Da Vinci Code

Book in Hand:Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Song in Mind: Run by Litchie Nadal
Word in Mouth: Palm

A workmate lent me the Da Vinci Code and sure enough, I just couldn't drop the book once I've started it. I've always been fascinated with books or movies that tackles religious conspiracies. It's not as if I'm seeking to destroy my own faith in the Church. Wise men advice against it, but it's almost like a test for me how strong my faith is. It always amazes me when I find out things I don't know, grisly stories about how the Catholic Church became the powerful religion that it is, and realize that it doesn't really change a thing for me. It opens up many questions, but as always, I don't have to rationalize my faith. Or else, it wouldn't be faith but reason. And as Einstein said to much of reason does not make a religion, but a science. The way I see it, there is faith, and there is religion. Sometimes, religion could be made perverse by lost souls. But it does not make the religion bad. It is MAN that made it perverse. Why? because they try to turn faith into reason. This book tackled issues about the Opus Dei contingent. I know some local numeraries and members who are seething mad about the "fabrications" made by Dan Brown. Personally, I don't think the book was an attack on the Opus Dei. Just like any religion on earth, there would be believers gone mad doing stuff that was meant for good but has turned bad under the influence of fanaticism. It might as well have been the Catholic church, or the Protestants. Also, Dan Brown is an author. He wanted to write something explosively controversial so the book would sell. I don't personally think he made an awesome choice choosing religion to get attention, but a writer writes. Readers read. And it doesn't mean what you read, you believe. I say leave it to the readers to choose what they believe. They must learn how to be objective, especially if a piece of literature is marked as fiction.

Me, I find the book thought-provoking. But it did not move continents inside me. I already know what I believe in. It is of little importance to me if Jesus was indeed married. Or that He had children. I do wish though that women were given more stead in the Church. We could be just as strong as men. If only there were female priests, I want to be one. But the point of it all, mortal or God, Jesus died for us. He LOVED us enough to sacrifice his life for us. His love moved mountains, and changed the face of the earth. I do not wish to stare at the pointed finger, but at the sky it points to. Because there, after all, is my God.