Friday, October 08, 2004

Weekend Warrior

It's the weekend! Yippee!
No work, no school, no boss, no pesky students!

Plus birthday weekend ng Mummy ko, so I'm going to totally immerse myself in fun this weekend. I hope. :)

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Mind? Mind's Gone

Book in Hand: The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke
Song in Mind: a noisy humdrum of protestations against the setting of the sun!!!
Words in Mouth: To live would be an awfully big adventure!

Aaargh....... I'm 22 years old. I should be over and beyond this... this...obsession!
But I have to meet this guy. I have to meet this guy. Argh. And to have him so available, just right there, one person away is just purely irritating.

Spell of protection over house is really weakening and i need to recast it soon. Last night both Ella and I had weird dreams. Bad signs, bad signs.

And I sound like Cordelia from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I am going insane. Sometimes, having too much soul isn't such a walk in the park.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

What Looks Like Crazy on a Crazy Day

Book in Hand: Tithe: A Modern faerie tale by Holly Black (really great read!)
Song in Mind: aherm, Broken Vow, (sporadic coughing fit follows)
Words in Mouth: Dreading Monday's return

Crazy Things Olivia Did This Week:
1) Cried (as in got all teary-eyed) because John Stevens sang so badly during the last American Idol episode (i love the guy, for heaven's sake, vote for him even if he completely sucked!) What did they expect anyway? The guy's a classic Sinatra/Groban/Bautista/Buble. Do people expect John Mayer to suddenly belt out Ain't No Mountain High Enough? Or The Great Sinatra, if he's still alive, to do a rendition of I'm A Slave For You? No, i didn't think so.

2) Went completely jologs (read: watched Star Circle Quest Contestants in their SM Fairview Mall Tour and that's not the worst of it). Wellll, really, it's my sister who likes this stuff, but I sort of want to see Hero and Sandara and Joross (kudos, Mariel's cousin!) and Roxanne. And besides, it's not everyday events happen in this far side of the world. So, I sort of squeezed myself in the audience and screamed like hell. Also, when the camera spanned, waved as well. Hell, if you get into the groove of it, really get into the groove of it, y'know what I mean. Jologs for a day and proud of it.

3) Flirted with the Pizza Hut server. Well, he's cute. And he was like all, "More iced tea, Ma'am?". ehehe, bad thing is, when I saw the bill, wasn't inclined to leave a tip. Poor soul probably cursing me right now (D'you know how much bottomless iced tea that giantess consumed?????)

4) Almost bought condoms. the short of it -- i thought they were bubble gum in the jar.

5) Watched the Buzz through and through (Kris fascinates me - so smart yet so clueless and for some weird reason I like her spirit) Plus, knowing the inside story of Piolo's "so-called-father" may come in handy someday. I look at it, as community research. Would I watch again next Sunday? Mebbe not.

All in all, I loved how my weekend fared. The whole of last week, I felt like I was just floundering around trying to survive the week til Saturday and Sunday saves me. If for anything else, I call myself the fiercest Weekend Warrior, because i try to consume each and every second of the weekend. After all, the next one is still five days away. :)

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

What Scares You

Book in Hand: Edge of Reason by Helen Fielding
Song in Mind: Hands to Heaven
Word in Mouth: Death


Yesterday, during Mass, the priest spoke of taking the difficult path as means to reaching heaven. Made me ponder what makes my life difficult. At first, I was just floating around the trivial, like having to handle the projects of Dow Chem, being fat, having very little money, not being able to buy the things I want (mostly books). Then in my mind, I began to step further from myself and I realized that the room was full of people with more or less the same difficulties. And sometimes, some of them even have to deal with a whole lot more. Stuff that makes life difficult for people began to pour into my head: sickness, poverty, depression, desperation, etc. And all these malcontent things surround us. It moves around us, wherever we may go and whenever we take our breath. And every blessed second we have to choose what we think is right. Whatever we think is good.

Every choice we make on this earth has an effect and if you really, really look at it, it's scary. This hit me with such an impact it was accompanied by blinding realization. God, people are so brave. They don't know it. They haven't realized that just the fact that they are alive, and thinking and talking, and making choices no matter how trivial, they are part of this huge exercise on courage. To think that some of us even believe we are cowards. But if they take a real good look, just the fact that they dared venture to think of cowardice makes them brave already.
Book in Hand: Edge of Reason by Helen Fielding
Song in Mind: Hands to Heaven
Word in Mouth: Death


Yesterday, during Mass, the priest spoke of taking the difficult path as means to reaching heaven. Made me ponder what makes my life difficult. At first, I was just floating around the trivial, like having to handle the projects of Dow Chem, being fat, having very little money, not being able to buy the things I want (mostly books). Then in my mind, I began to step further from myself and I realized that the room was full of people with more or less the same difficulties. And sometimes, some of them even have to deal with a whole lot more. Stuff that makes life difficult for people began to pour into my head: sickness, poverty, depression, desperation, etc. And all these malcontent things surround us. It moves around us, wherever we may go and whenever we take our breath. And every blessed second we have to choose what we think is right. Whatever we think is good.

Every choice we make on this earth has an effect and if you really, really look at it, it's scary. This hit me with such an impact it was accompanied by blinding realization. God, people are so brave. They don't know it. They haven't realized that just the fact that they are alive, and thinking and talking, and making choices no matter how trivial, they are part of this huge exercise on courage. To think that some of us even believe we are cowards. But if they take a real good look, just the fact that they dared venture to think of cowardice makes them brave already.

Sunday, April 04, 2004

Da Vinci Code

Book in Hand:Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Song in Mind: Run by Litchie Nadal
Word in Mouth: Palm

A workmate lent me the Da Vinci Code and sure enough, I just couldn't drop the book once I've started it. I've always been fascinated with books or movies that tackles religious conspiracies. It's not as if I'm seeking to destroy my own faith in the Church. Wise men advice against it, but it's almost like a test for me how strong my faith is. It always amazes me when I find out things I don't know, grisly stories about how the Catholic Church became the powerful religion that it is, and realize that it doesn't really change a thing for me. It opens up many questions, but as always, I don't have to rationalize my faith. Or else, it wouldn't be faith but reason. And as Einstein said to much of reason does not make a religion, but a science. The way I see it, there is faith, and there is religion. Sometimes, religion could be made perverse by lost souls. But it does not make the religion bad. It is MAN that made it perverse. Why? because they try to turn faith into reason. This book tackled issues about the Opus Dei contingent. I know some local numeraries and members who are seething mad about the "fabrications" made by Dan Brown. Personally, I don't think the book was an attack on the Opus Dei. Just like any religion on earth, there would be believers gone mad doing stuff that was meant for good but has turned bad under the influence of fanaticism. It might as well have been the Catholic church, or the Protestants. Also, Dan Brown is an author. He wanted to write something explosively controversial so the book would sell. I don't personally think he made an awesome choice choosing religion to get attention, but a writer writes. Readers read. And it doesn't mean what you read, you believe. I say leave it to the readers to choose what they believe. They must learn how to be objective, especially if a piece of literature is marked as fiction.

Me, I find the book thought-provoking. But it did not move continents inside me. I already know what I believe in. It is of little importance to me if Jesus was indeed married. Or that He had children. I do wish though that women were given more stead in the Church. We could be just as strong as men. If only there were female priests, I want to be one. But the point of it all, mortal or God, Jesus died for us. He LOVED us enough to sacrifice his life for us. His love moved mountains, and changed the face of the earth. I do not wish to stare at the pointed finger, but at the sky it points to. Because there, after all, is my God.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Guilty Pleasures

Book in Hand: Faith of the Fallen (re-read) by Terry Goodkind
Song in Mind: Fever by Michael Buble
Word in Mouth: Strike

Teeheee... it feels nice to act like an obsessed-teen again. It's been so long with Boyzone disbanding and Stephen Gately (the man I thought I would marry) admitting he's gay thereby crushing all my hopes and making me swear off all musician-infatuation. If there's one thing I miss, it's daydreaming. This time around, my favorite past time is once again ressurected by the fact that there's this really great guy I saw on TV. He was in this contest, and at first I was cheering him on kasi UP din siya eh and uber great ang voice. People I knew who knew him kept on saying how nice he was, and how he was like this and that. Pero, what the heck, aminin na natin, cute din kasi, making it easier to work my way up to crushing on him.

Anyhooo, i just bought his album and I guess it's just one of those guilty pleasures I had to give in to. I think the fact that I'm acting like a kid again is relief in itself. I hate to admit it, but I don't think I'm doing a great job as an adult. I just reminisce about my student days too much. I hate the fact that it's summer again, and for the first time in my life, I have no summer vacation to speak of. My sister is lounging around the house and I still have to wake up at 5 a.m to get to work by 8. I have to worry about other people's problems, make sure to make it my problem and more importantly, make sure I resolve it all by 6 pm. I love my job, but work is work, and I guess I haven't reached that point yet where I have thrown myself completely to being so self-sacrificing. C'mon, who would? In this world, you've got to love yourself a little too. I sound so juvenile, but at this point in my life and with this short-vision lenses I still have on, I needed a break.

Today, that was exactly my point when I went into the music store and snatched Christian Bautista's CD up before the hordes of real teenage girls got to it. Ahaha... vindictively, I revel in acting like I'm sixteen. Tomorrow is soon enough for me to act 22 again.

Sunday, March 28, 2004

This Humanity

Book in Hand: Still the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
Song in Mind: The Way You Look at Me by Christian Bautista
Word in Mouth: Effervescent (the heck if i know why)
----------


I have been reading up on the exquisite
Browsing through the masters of rhyme
Ev'ry word they've stringed together
Resonates with the truthfulness of it --
The humanity.

I may never become a master
Prose holds no glory for me
Or satisfaction for those who read me
But I want to keep my one finger dipped
In the flowing elixir of life
This stream that flows ever through,
within and without --
This humanity.


Hurrah!

The dreamweaver finally has managed to set up enough chutzpah to create a blabber, eherm, a blogger. I really should've done this eons ago.

It's after midnight and my favorite radio station has finally signed off. That means I'd be standing every fifteen minutes or so turning my Josh Groban casette tape for the next three hours or so, while I resist the Sandman's seduction. I realize though that I'm not the only one awake as I hear the neighborhood punks try to raise up enough ruckus to wake those who are already blessedly asleep. I'm actually deciding how best to spook them up a bit. I could turn the porch lights on and off. Or hiss at the dogs so they'll bark at the imbeciles. Or invent a static manipulator so I could mess up their rock station reception. I mean, I like listening to angsty music once in a while, but not at MIDNIGHT!!! What i do listen to at night is Groban. I found it so boring that it took a 180 degree turn and I find it actually quite great now. Well, that's the point of being a geek anyway, isn't it? To find the boring things inexplicably exciting. Like Josh Groban. Like peeling off dried glue from your fingers. Like watching raindrops from your window for three hours. Like enjoying the sharp tangy smell of tamarind from your Mum's sinigang. very much like sitting on a rocking chair with a newspaper open on your lap, but what you're actually doing is staring up at the blueness of the late afternoon sky.

Geeks are the most misunderstood creatures.

Movies like to portray us as semi-robotic human forms completely estranged from the world. Calculator in shirt pocket, pen behind ears, notepad on hand, eyeglass precarioulsy atop the nose. How about I skewer your perception a bit and suggest a tantalizing new idea:

Geeks are the world's most passionate people. They are completely essensual. I read this from a book called "Romancing the Ordinary". Essence (the true form of things) + Sensual (the use of the senses)= Essensual. Besides being smart enough to know what the five senses are, geeks have a gift of the sixth, which is wonder. They are just absolutely delighted in learning and finding. Sometimes it takes on the form of near-obsession, or escapism. But it's that same compact and driven interest that bends reality. Geeks don't just conform, if only because they know they have mind enough to grasp the other multiverses that may exist. Creating is so much more fun anyway.

Anyway, that's how I define geeks. You can use whatever name you want, pronounce it anyway you can, but I remain adamantly geeky.

Oh, and just so you know, I completely hate calculators if only because I hate Math.
;)

Saturday, March 27, 2004




You're Watership Down!

by Richard Adams

Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd
be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.



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