Sunday, November 30, 2008

Knackered Silly


What's the one movie you watched as a child that has utterly fascinated you in a horrific way?
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I believe we all have one. That movie adults will mostly think campy or ridiculous but our impressionable minds totally wrapped itself around it. And it's usually gory and bloody and we can't help but have nightmares about it. Admit it, most of the twenty-something generation today were at least once terrified by one of the numerous Shake, Rattle and Roll or Stephen King's horror flicks (remember the one with the hundred cats???).
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Of course when we watch it now, that terrifiying movie would just be inane. But then still... once in a while, you have to pry your fingers from the armrest where your hands unconsciously gripped it. And then push your butt backward away from the edge of the seat. Now whyever did you do that? Huh.
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Well, for me, one of those unforgettable bad movies include Tremors. Remember this? The one where people get stuck in a valley where there were humongous worms ready to eat them once they made as much as a shuffling sound? Vibration sensitive, they follow their prey by the waves they generate when moving around. To keep safe from them, you have to stay on top of boulders. Pole vault from rock to rock. Haul a tractor. And to save yourselves, you have to make them eat thousand-ton explosives, whereupon the wonders of sulfuric powder and ingestion will transpire. They'll explode to a gelatinous pulpy red-orange stuff you wouldn't let a 4-year-old kid see in case it scars them for life.
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I kid you not. To prove it to you, I'll share how it caused shifts in my psychology:
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1. For years afterwards, I tried to make as little noise as possible when walking. (My Mum also had a thing about "kinakaladkad ang tsinelas or sapatos" which further reinforced my behaviour).
2. I have a general sense that rocks saves lives. Which would lead me, directly or indirectly, to collecting stones.
3. I didn't eat bacon for a while (very short while. Like 2 weeks). Why? Red pulpy stuff + Kevin Bacon. Do the math. (Hey, I was a kid!)
4. I promised never to live in a valley. So it really helps that we now live on a friggin' mountain.
5. I hated worms: not in a scared way, but in an angry manner. I like eating jelly glow worms and biting their heads as mercilessly as I can while thinking, "One more for the humans."
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Other movies which scared the sh&t outta me:
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1. Independence Day - if the US can't stop them, our sh&tty military can't!
2. Deep Impact - Live in a tunnel or drown. Live in a tunnel or drown. Hard decision.
3. Pet Cemetary - Pets should stay buried.
4. Gremlins - Cute can be scary.
5. Mr. Bean - Poster Child for Human Devolution

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Liv the Dolphin Trainer

When I was a kid, I wanted to do a lot of things when I grow up. I really believed I’ll have the coolest job in the world because I’ll make it so. Hay. Kids. Everything was possible.

At one point or another, I wanted to be a:

1. Nun – because my Mummy said I was conceived after two barren years she promised the Virgin Mary she’ll do her best to convince her child to have a religious vocation


2. Housemaid – when I was younger, I liked housework. It made me feel grown-up. Now, house work is in the same line as tooth extraction and assisting in a circumcision

3. Doctor – I wanted to cure heartache because I seriously thought that was what causes heart attacks (I may be on to something there though)

4. Lawyer – I wanted to look tough and talk tough

5. Actress – I practiced receiving the Oscars and the Emmys in the bathroom. I still do.

6. Professional ice Skater – I wanted to be famous and skate with the Stars on Ice team

7. Dolphin Trainer – is this the coolest job or what? You get to spend time with one of the most intelligent creatures on earth and you get to spend your time in the sea!

8. Prolific Writer – as prolific as Danielle Steele is. I thought writing books was just like passing gas. You know, like: you have it, you clench your fists and out it goes.

Days like today make me want to rethink what the hell happened along the way. Sure, my job’s not bad. But it ain’t dolphin-training either.

I wonder if I should have aimed for other courses in college? I mean, look at my friends. They took up accounting or engineering (which would have bored me to hell), but now they do highly specialized jobs which pays them a lot. A lot of my troubles will be erased if I just had more funds to deal with. Not all my problems, but most. Maybe I should’ve trudged along in college, like a drone, but I will be reaping financial benefits today.

The smarter part of me is telling me I wouldn’t like Olivia-the-drone.

But the practical part of me is saying, “You don’t have to like her as long as she pays all the bills.”

Then zen-Olivia will butt in then and say in a voice not unlike somebody high on drugs that “There is nothing. Be nothing. And then you’ll be everything.”

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

No Vampire Movie This Weekend. Period.



Maybe the Fates are trying to screw me. For some reason, my sister wants to see Twilight. During opening weekend. And the only thing I can ask her is "Why?!#%!"

No hyped-up movie aside from the Lord of the Rings is worth seeing on an opening weekend. And even then we decided to watch LOTR3 on a weekday. So what is so special about Twilight that we have to watch it with the rest of the mindless hordes? It's bad enough that I forced myself to read the books so when some adoring Edward Cullen fan spitefully challenges my opinions by asking :"But have you read the book?" I can look him / her squarely in the eye and answer, "Yes, all 4 books, because I kept hoping it'll get better, or something must be there to hook so many people. But it started from dismal to appalling and I suffered the most tortorous hours of my life." Never let it be said I didn't give it more than a fighting chance.

But now she's asking me to watch a pasty-faced Cedric Diggory making googly eyes on some pasty-faced kid. As an antidote, I made her read all the movie critiques/reviews coming in from the US, and most of them are bad. I made her do the math:

bad book= bad script
bad script+ good-looking people -underripe acting = campy flick
campy flick +forgiving adoring fans = irritated non-fans
Irritated non-fan big sister = Crappy weekend = Bad Cooking

She got the message.

To make it up to her, I bought her Season 2 of Gossip Girl, and she can saturate her mind with senselessness this long weekend. Yes, it's just as bad as Twilight, but at least she'll leave me at peace.



Thursday, November 20, 2008

For Cookie Patty



No, the world was never fair.


We grew up happy

keeping to ourselves,

ribbons untangling in our hair.


Our world was complete

We were all we need

What there was, we took, we shared.


Then the world shook and broke down.


We searched, we wailed,

We ran away, we sought and

Listened hard but hope echoed no sound.


We were angry and we cried,

Asked more questions than

There were answers to be found.


Now the world is trying to tell us we're not special.


We have become the average

Part of the faceless mass

the hopeless, the insignifant, the nominal.


Little sister, let them try.


But the world cannot take this away:


How we laughed, how we played

Bright like fireflies or the sun's warm ray

How we loved and how we lost

How we carried on at whatever cost.

How we keep believing still

The wounds we have will someday heal.

Yes, I know we're back at the start

Painful and humbling to our once proud hearts

But ordinary, not special --- that's not us

Even if we're now less witty or not so fast.

Because even when praises wane

Princess-warriors we'll remain.

They taught us well so trust you now

We'll make it through someway, somehow.


-Pepsi

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Is it Just Me?


\When was the last time you bought shoes that cost Php 6,000? I really need to know because I need to know if I am the one who’s insane.

My best pal in the office is obsessed with brands. When I left him in his cubicle, he was browsing through the Macy’s on-line catalogue looking for shoes. The one he wants will cost him between 6-7K. Given, he’s only shopping online because he’s got a friend in the US who’ll be sending or bringing the stuff home for him, so that’s saving on the shipping cost. Yet still. Six thousand friggin’ pesos. And looking at the shoes, it isn’t so extra-ordinary. Looks like Rusty Lopez, except the tag will Say Kenneth Cole. It’s not like he doesn’t have tons of Kenneth Coles and Lacoste shoes. Add to the fact that men’s shoes rarely change designs. If he was a girl, with styles and colors to choose from, I may (stretching it, but I may) understand. I may have also overheard him wanting to buy a Diesel belt worth 2k. So you see, it’s a disease.

Some would say it’s because they can afford it, so they buy quality. I think that’s exclusive thinking. Stuff made by some illegal laborer in Pakistan or China or your very own Philippines will be pretty much the same anywhere. It’s the tag that makes the difference. I think people who can find quality for lower prices are much smarter people (or just practical -- which is called for in these hard times). Anything more than what’s necessary is flamboyance and frivolity to me.

I hadn’t always been poor. There was a time we had a choice to buy brands. But thank God my parents quickly veered us away from that godforsaken path or else I would feel miserable not being able to afford it anymore. I don’t mean to be hypocritical, because I do own branded stuff, mostly given by my Tita from the US (or secondhand from ukay-ukay). But the difference is, I don’t search for it like some heat-seeking missile. And to think I felt guilty buying my 800-peso shawl from Zara. Will never compare to buying two pairs of shoes worth P6,000 each as it happens.

So am I insane?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Reward: Movies

Book in Hand: The Thirteenth Tale
Song in Mind: Sama ko, sama ko diyan, doobi doobi doobi yeah... (blasted bus radios)

There are days when I feel so exhausted and looking to the future brings no comfort because I still have many hurdles in sight (think Frodo when he crested the last mountain and he caught sight of Mordor. So near yet so far…). Days like these, nothing beats a complete surrender to another reality. These are the days I watch a movie totally alone.

I LIKE watching movies by my lonesome. I am left to my own thoughts. I don’t have to explain the plot to anyone. I don’t have to pretend to laugh even if I don’t think it’s funny, I won’t have to hide my cringe if it gets too sappy.

The possible pervs don’t scare me. I can always grab their patootie and yank it off if it gets too near me. And I always have a bottle of mineral water which I can bonk at someone in case they are not within arms reach, but within sight and sound. Anyhow, it has only happened to me once, and I threw popcorn at his crotch. I bet he smelled like cheese down there for a while. One incident out of the hundred times I watched a movie alone --- not a bad ratio there.

November had always been hectic in the office. It’s the start of our fiscal year and everyone wants their training to be first, first, first. So basically, 2 months into the year, we’ve already conducted 6 seminar workshops, 2 orientations and a couple of visits. That’s a ratio of one point five training concerns per week. So I needed a movie. No, make that 2 movies.

THE WOMEN



I haven’t come across the original version of this film, which old-timers keep touting to be better. Well, better than what, I ask? I don’t think I’ll be the first to say that this is a total chick-flick. All women all the time. Their concerns include: a cheating husband, losing jobs, fighting with the girlfriends. You know, normal stuff. I can almost get bored, except that…. They lent a new view to the whole thing. Debra Messing’s characters said that there are always two sides to the story, and this movie managed to show the real women’s side. We saw how the wife struggles, we saw how the successful executive make terrible compromises, and we even got to know the mistress so we can’t even hate her.

It isn’t exceptional by common standards, this movie. But it sounded real although it became preachy and overworked after a while. It had good messages in it: a magazine executive who wants to change the industry by putting real people in her magazines.. and fails, two beat friends fighting for a while and describing the abberation as like having a phantom limb… those were nice. But the whole thing became weepy and dragging and wallowing…. And argh!

And even Meg Ryan’s botox-disfigured face couldn’t save it. (Damn, I love Meg Ryan, what happened? She can’t even properly smile anymore!)

Watch it if you must. But don’t say I didn’t warn you about the wallowing.


CITY OF EMBERS




This is one example of a good book someone should have left alone.

Not to say that it was bad. The cast was solid, the acting sufficient, the story believable, the concept astounding. A story like this explodes inside readers’ heads, but that didn’t happen in the movie. It lacked the right tension and action to execute the otherwise good material. But it was definitively darkly imaginative. I loved the texture of the movie… I can feel the struggle between the darkness and light. I love the ending sequence, when they first saw the sun rising after a couple of centuries.

Unfortunately, there was something missing. Something I can’t quite put a finger on. Maybe you should watch it to figure it out for yourself.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

I really do...


heart Psych.
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Just finished watching all of Season I and II. I can't wait to see the rest of Season III. I don't feel this a lot when it comes to TV shows. You know, that I-can't-wait-for-the-next-episode feeling. When I get it though, I relish it. More if it's as laugh out loud funny as this show is.
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Hurray for Shawn and Gus!

Thursday, November 13, 2008


You can almost smell Christmas!

And so, I can also feel it coming back again. I’m getting sick a lot which probably means I’m stressed a lot which probably means I’m rounding out on the nth phase of my depression.

I’m not pretending anymore that I don’t have it. Nor can I pretend I can shake it off for life. It comes and it goes, depending on what I’m going through with my life. Christmas was almost lethal for me last year, remember? 2 weeks in the hospital diagnosed for having illnesses ranging from the pedestrian to the esoteric (read: allergies to herpes) ((Oh, they were both revoked by my doctors by the way. They had to settle with unidentified immunity disorder).

Geez. What would this Christmas bring, I wonder? AIDS? Cancer? Forgive me, I can only jest about it now. I wouldn’t be this chirpy in a couple more days so I might as well pour it all out.

Ho. Ho. Ho.
There, that's about it.

Christmas sucks without them.

Harry Trumps Edward *wink*



If we’re going to talk about fantasy boyfriends based on book characters, I have my own thing.

I love Harry Dresden.

Working as the only wizard in the Chicago phonebook gets him the oddest and dirtiest jobs like hunting down vampires and cleaning up after faeries and chasing ghouls. But he does what he thinks is right even if it means he’ll get hurt. Sure, to some that’s idiocy, but on him, it’s almost noble.

He gets scared. Terrified, most of the times. But he keeps his priorities intact. And if everything else fails, he still saves the girl (or vampire or werewolf) even if it meant dying in the effort.

He feels lonely. He seeks comfort, but knows it will always avoid him. He knows he will die alone, but carries on nevertheless.

He cracks me up. It doesn’t matter if he’s being hounded by killer zombies, he can still find the funny things to keep himself sane. Beats shouting “Ludicrus!”

He’s wise. Not all of the time, yes. But he’s got a deeper sense of humanity, our desires and our motivations. He knows how these things affect magic, and how to utilize it.

He’s human. Yeah, he’s got a longer life span than normal humans, but he will die and can die if killed in combat. He knows, fears, understands and faces Death. He respects death, and thus, lives Life.

Vampires go to him for help. He’s never sappy. He’s embarrassingly honest. He always stands up for what he believes is right.

He isn’t porcelain pretty; he looks like his beat-up VW most of the time. Rugged around the edges, a total fashion idiot-savant, and talks to skulls. But you can feel vitality when you’re around him. His passions overflow.

This is my kind of guy. I don’t need a boyfriend who sparkles in the sunlight. I want someone who will stand beside me in the sunlight, normal-like. Except that, I can hear his heart beating, and it tells me I can be certain he will fight for me and the things he believes I stand for to the very edge of his precious Life.

:*)

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Film List

After suffering from a dearth of good fun movies the last three months, it seems the Universe is going to make up for it this November. Here’s my list of movies to watch out for:

Inkheart


Why? Because Paul Bettany is in it. So even if the annoying Brendan Fraser also stars in it, I shall brave the insanity and sally forth for Paul. I really like him that MUCH. Besides, Andy Serkis (Gollum in LOTR) is in it and it’s bound to be interesting to see him act without the corrupted hobbit suit.

17Again


Matthew Perry has made movies, which has all miserably flopped. Zac Efron on the other hand could so much as burp on film, and it’ll sell like hot pancakes. Let’s see who will reign supreme for this movie, eh? Perry is a 37-year-old drone who gets a chance to live his life again by being magically zapped back to 17 years old. Probably stolen from 13 going on 30 (that Jennifer Garner sweetheart movie?). Efron plays his younger self, looking all buffed and purty. I Heart Efron. And back off my case, emo-kids. Give me this one idiocy.

Oh and yeah…

Twilight


It’s showing on the 26th and it’s making quite a noise. Publicity group must be geniuses. But then, no matter how crappy the whole thing turned out to be, I don’t think any of the fans will ever admit it. And none of the non-fans will be brave enough to call it shit. Well, except me. I’ll call it as it is. Just have to watch the movie first.

Let’s hope they can salvage the sappy novel into something more respectable.
Peace.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Harry Trumps Edward *wink*



If we’re going to talk about fantasy boyfriends based on book characters, I have my own thing.

I love Harry Dresden.

Working as the only wizard in the Chicago phonebook gets him the oddest and dirtiest jobs like hunting down vampires and cleaning up after faeries and chasing ghouls. But he does what he thinks is right even if it means he’ll get hurt. Sure, to some that’s idiocy, but on him, it’s almost noble.

He gets scared. Terrified, most of the times. But he keeps his priorities intact. And if everything else fails, he still saves the girl (or vampire or werewolf) even if it meant dying in the effort.

He feels lonely. He seeks comfort, but knows it will always avoid him. He knows he will die alone, but carries on nevertheless.

He cracks me up. It doesn’t matter if he’s being hounded by killer zombies, he can still find the funny things to keep himself sane. Beats shouting “Ludicrus!”

He’s wise. Not all of the time, yes. But he’s got a deeper sense of humanity, our desires and our motivations. He knows how these things affect magic, and how to utilize it.

He’s human. Yeah, he’s got a longer life span than normal humans, but he will die and can die if killed in combat. He knows, fears, understands and faces Death. He respects death, and thus, lives Life.

Vampires go to him for help. He’s never sappy. He’s embarrassingly honest. He always stands up for what he believes is right.

He isn’t porcelain pretty; he looks like his beat-up VW most of the time. Rugged around the edges, a total fashion idiot-savant, and talks to skulls. But you can feel vitality when you’re around him. His passions overflow.

This is my kind of guy. I don’t need a boyfriend who sparkles in the sunlight. I want someone who will stand beside me in the sunlight, normal-like. Except that, I can hear his heart beating, and it tells me I can be certain he will fight for me and the things he believes I stand for to the very edge of his precious Life.

:*)

Friday, November 07, 2008

Let go.

Don’t let go.

Love. Forget.

Have you been here? At the crossroads of a love that is either possible or impossible and you are caught between choosing to let go or hold on; terrified you’ll break your heart, but even more frightened of missing out on something real this time around.

I’m sure I’ll break my heart. Who could love someone so… pedestrian? I do not have that delicacy men find so attractive in their women. Nor am I feisty enough to awe boys into adoration. I am not rich and cultured. I do not exude an aura which screams “better-than-you.” I do not have the prescribed curves. I cannot be literally swept off my feet unless I plan to work in cohort with an orthopedic --- imagine the men who will try only to break their backs. I am odd, awkward, silly, alternating between genius and idiot, ingénue and naïve. Who would want such a roller coaster ride?

It could be so easy to just walk away, if only I can shake off my worries about regretting. What if all it takes is a little more encouragement? What if takes is just a little more time? What would I be missing if I shut him out of my world? I can tear down the awnings, pack up, and just go inside. Lock the door, suppress emotions that proved fatal to my sense of peace. But if I lock myself in, I would never know if all this time he had been standing outside waiting for something to shine through the slits of my boarded up windows.

Kaya eto, I’m stuck praying desperately for a clue.

I’ve loved this guy for 2 years now. I either have to let go or take a leap.

I am terrified I cannot do either one.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Today's Not My Day

First, I stepped on dog poop and fouled up the vehicle we were riding to Laguna. I hate poop. Much less stepping on it.

Then, I was eating lunch, slurping my sinigang na baboy happily when my spoon revealed I was about to slurp on a small caterpillar. Between images of the poop on my shoes and that dead cattypillar, my appetite went kaput.

So I didn't eat enough and suffered hypoglycemia. My hands went clammy, my ears went ringing, and my head hurt through out the afternoon.

Then my sister called because tomorrow is the due date of our electric bill, and i neglected to leave my ATM card so they could withdraw the money.

While I was congratulating myself on this supreme idiocy, I bit down into dinner's pork chop and nearly lost a tooth because it was rock hard. I could throw it to the dogs and instead of touching it, they'll sue me for manslaughter.

That kind of day. Yippee kind of day. Days which tells you, tomorrow can only get better.

Obama Wins



I frankly think America needs the change.

I'm not saying Obama's the next superhero, but I do think he will do as much good as anyone who's been the underdog too long. Let's see what he can do.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Kushiel's Legacy


I stumbled upon a copy of Kushiel's Dart written by Jacqueline Carey. I know Mariel loves the books; I know the copy she found during the September book fair was prized and cherished. I just didn't get why. I think it's because the first time I saw the book in National, I chanced upon a page which described weird kind of ... adventures. As in S&M stuff which I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. But Mariel's interest reigned in my distrust. There must be something to it if my girl friend likes it. So I read through the first of the series.... and was genuinely surprised that it wasn't as ewwww-y as I first thought.
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Phedre is a real person, and her adventures weren't just about... uhm... worshipping Namaah...(read the book to find out what that means). It's about politics, and deceit and love as well and discussed in a tasteful manner. It isn't anything like the love scenes you read in romance novels, at ALL. I was completely rooting for Joscelin (I am imagining him to look like a youner Paul Bettany) in the book. I want him to be with Kushiel too. :)
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So, Mariel's taste rules. I don't think I have enough stamina to read all 6 books in the series yet (maybe there's even more). But I do have renewed respect for the series. Black Velvet it isn't.
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Good it really is.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Doors



I have a deep love for doors and doorways ---

They seem to me a promise
Of people who Fate may yet bring;
Of news that may bestow bliss;
Of things that cause hearts to sing.
And one of them, yet unknown,
Will bring my Love to me
Bright, beautiful and wholly strong
A fit, a match, a key.

I search for doors and doorways
Trusting the day will come
When it is suddenly your face
I can finally look upon.

- liv

After All



Call me utterly sappy, but for some reason, I get heart burn everytime I hear the song "After All" by Peter Cetera. And the line which gives me butterflies in my stomach the most?

"And after all these stops and starts,
We keep coming back to these two hearts,
two angels who've been rescued from the fall..."

I really have no idea why. But it spoke to me when I was a teenager, and it still speaks to me now. It's not like I can relate it to anything in my life. But there it is.

Of course I do have other tummy-tingling songs which are more updated, i.e. Breathe In, Breathe Out, but this one gets me all the time. :)

Arrest me, I have no alibi.