Liv the Dolphin Trainer

When I was a kid, I wanted to do a lot of things when I grow up. I really believed I’ll have the coolest job in the world because I’ll make it so. Hay. Kids. Everything was possible.

At one point or another, I wanted to be a:

1. Nun – because my Mummy said I was conceived after two barren years she promised the Virgin Mary she’ll do her best to convince her child to have a religious vocation

2. Housemaid – when I was younger, I liked housework. It made me feel grown-up. Now, house work is in the same line as tooth extraction and assisting in a circumcision

3. Doctor – I wanted to cure heartache because I seriously thought that was what causes heart attacks (I may be on to something there though)

4. Lawyer – I wanted to look tough and talk tough

5. Actress – I practiced receiving the Oscars and the Emmys in the bathroom. I still do.

6. Professional ice Skater – I wanted to be famous and skate with the Stars on Ice team

7. Dolphin Trainer – is this the coolest job or what? You get to spend time with one of the most intelligent creatures on earth and you get to spend your time in the sea!

8. Prolific Writer – as prolific as Danielle Steele is. I thought writing books was just like passing gas. You know, like: you have it, you clench your fists and out it goes.

Days like today make me want to rethink what the hell happened along the way. Sure, my job’s not bad. But it ain’t dolphin-training either.

I wonder if I should have aimed for other courses in college? I mean, look at my friends. They took up accounting or engineering (which would have bored me to hell), but now they do highly specialized jobs which pays them a lot. A lot of my troubles will be erased if I just had more funds to deal with. Not all my problems, but most. Maybe I should’ve trudged along in college, like a drone, but I will be reaping financial benefits today.

The smarter part of me is telling me I wouldn’t like Olivia-the-drone.

But the practical part of me is saying, “You don’t have to like her as long as she pays all the bills.”

Then zen-Olivia will butt in then and say in a voice not unlike somebody high on drugs that “There is nothing. Be nothing. And then you’ll be everything.”