Monday, October 08, 2007

Literary Sketches (LitSket)

LitSket 1: Best Mocha Latte You Ever Had

The last time I drank this evil stuff, I was 18 and in-love with Joseph Fernandez. He was tall and coffee-skinned and he had the deepest-set eyes imaginable on a guy without looking like a gal. We were working on a PoliSci mini-thesis and had been deliberating about how much moral ascendancy of government leaders can be considered as healthy. There wasn't much argument then. I was just too willing to agree with his points. After that semester, I heard he went for a girl I knew from high school --- stating that he always liked smart girls who challenges his mind. It doesn't matter now that I have always beaten that girl in every school debate she ever joined or that she once asked me for help with her Science project. She challenges his mind. I bored him to death.

I can't believe I have been so moronic about love.

And yet now, this.
I am drinking an overpriced Mocha Latte listening to you wax poetic about the finer points of Angel Locsin's body. I cringe inside everytime you say words like "slim, " tight" and "fine." I keep looking down at my bloated stomach and my heart sinks seven inches each time. I want to ask "Why are you telling me this? What makes you think I care about Angel Locsin?"

But I know it's because I had always been the guy-ish gal, the one boys like unloading their emo-shit on, because they know I can listen, and that I'm safe. Safe because, it's not like they'll ever court me, and their secrets will remain latent and would not pose a threat to their love pursuits.

I nurse my coffee with fingers growing increasingly numb. You have shifted your topic to Joyce Jimenez' smashing comeback.

I nod and smile and drink from my cup. I swirl the liquid in my mouth, it's dark descent toward my stomach as warm and nascent as the dark desires I'll never taste. The heat gathers in my stomach and lingers. This is the best coffee I ever had.

I suppose the last thing you ever had would always be the best. If you'd only give me 5 seconds to speak, I can tell you this is the last time I am drinking from the bitter cup. I'm giving up on caffeine and bannoffee pies, love and its malevolent sisters that drags you down to the deep.

And I will never return.

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