Never Past the Size of Dreaming

Book in Hand: Legends by several fantasy authors

YOU A FAT KID??

Last night in Gilmore Girls, there was a line there that really made me laugh. A guy was trying to hit on Lorelei and she made a quip and made him laugh. He was dork enough to say,

"Oh she's funny. She's pretty but she's funny. Tell me, were you a fat kid? Because there were studies that says most pretty girls aren't funny because they didn't need to be."

Or something along that line. Haha. What a hoot. But the dork's probably right. What's it to me anyway? Okay, I'm chunky but I don't think people find me as funny. I think people see me more as -- harmless. So moving on...


STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

When a friend recently asked me about my past love life, I gave him the standard answer: Nope, never had any.

But this one is persistent. He's just fallen in love with somebody and probably wanted to share the feeling with anyone. The way it goes when you're in love and you just want the whole damn world to be just as happy as you are. He said there must be somebody in the past I really, really, really liked. I pretended to be stupid and asked, "You mean like in a former life or something?" He's not one to give up though. He wanted something a little more recent, like within this lifetime. So, I gave him another standard answer:

When I was four, I was in love with little Ricky Martin in the boy band Menudo. When I was ten I blush everytime someone mentions Michael J. Fox's name. When I was twelve, I was in love with Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Jonathan Brandis and Prince William all at the same time. But Mariel was also in love with William so I had to keep that one to myself. When I was thirteen I swore I will marry Stephen Gately. But it turned out he was gay. First year college, had a crush on a guy who I now think of as brash and aggressive and noisy. After that, there was Joseph and I made a pact with God that I'd be as good as Mother Mary if He'd just grant me that particular Joseph. Then there was a Ryan, a guy from the Central Student Council, there was this good friend from BA who won me over because he wa so nice but, well, that one had a girlfriend, and I just sorta liked him not in that romantic kinda way after all...

I could've gone on and on, but he held up a hand and asked..."No, the one you really loved. As in really fell in love with. Heart and soul? Did you ever have that?"

That's when I realized I was blabbing like an idiot about all those peripherals, skirting the main issue. And all I could mutter was. "Oh, that kinda love. Uhm, no."

Then I choked because I never was good at swallowing lies.


BREAK A SILVER LINING

Eh. I sealed my fate when I was just a kid. I was the sort of little girl who believed in the castles, princes, dragons, fairies, witches, magic, the extraordinary...

But since my life turned out to be so ordinary after all, it broke something and I just had to have my books, my portkeys to other worlds. And now, no matter how old I grow up to be I can always return to that world where there was something extraordinary about just being able to exist. In coming back, I get to see how magical ordinary days could be if I just knew how to look at it. It's good exercise. Keeps the soul intact. Although of course, not everyone could take too much of that amongst my friends it seems.

I try my best not to be melodramatic, y'know. Hay. God, am I still harping on about that? Sige na nga, I'll be honest. A good friend kasi called the books I lend them as "ma-drama". I was not aware of this. To me, they just felt like really good books. Not exemplary, but if you do love to read, any book with a good story will do, or so I assumed. I was just so afraid he meant that I was ma-drama too. BUT the mere fact that I'm still carrying on as if I'm a wounded soldier must say something about how right he was. Pasensya na. Pinanganak lang akong ma-drama. =D Comes with the territory of being the weird person I am. It's just that in my head, I have fashioned so many stories all of which must involve some human drama or else they won't be interesting. Siguro kasi i think stories for books must be a bit exagg sometimes for it to read like real life. Baka lang sometimes I can't separate my stories from my life. Or I could just be really weird. =D And another thing that I can't shake off is that a friend lets his mother read the books I lend him. Ack. Now I'd probably censor every book I let him borrow. Deceit? Nope. Sex? God, no. A bit of a kissing scene, but it soon talks about metal alloys afterwards so that's okay. Blood? Nope. Anything bothersome at all? A struggle? A fight? Anything that suggests anything bad? Nope. Nope. Nope. Okay. It's probably safe to let him borrow my Sweet Valley Kids series.

=D

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