Sunday, June 29, 2008

The Smell of Car Fumes in the Morning

It's Sunday, a Church Day, Family Day, Gimik Day.

I remember when it used to be something to look forward to. Mummy, Daddy, Ryan, Ella and I will squeeze into Pula and drive off to our Sunday adventures of malling, park tours and sumptuous food.

But even before we get inside the car, Daddy would be warming up our old lemon early in the morning. And since my room is directly above the car port, it wasn't unsual for me to wake up to the smell of carbon monoxide and the gurgle of an ancient motor revving up an down. It's been a while.

Imagine my confusion when I woke up hearing a running motor and the smell of CO this morning. WHa--??

As in confused, ha! And that tight feeling inside the chest which got me thinking 10,000 thoughts per second: "No, it can't be, they're de--- Yes, why not, No, must be a dream, but yes, it's real, I can smell the stuff---- I'm finally, finally cuckoo --- how much is therapy..."

I rose from bed like lightning, threw open my window to see an empty car port. That didn't help, believe me. I thought I was being haunted by our old car which I sold to the first bidder right after Daddy's passing away. I was almost expecting a ghostly voice to accost me : "Why did you seeellll meeeee.... Woooooh...."

Which is silly and stupid and after a few more seconds I finally noticed that a car was stalled outside our gate and they were trying to warm up the engine before they can move on.

I'm a silly git.

I wanted to cry, because impossible as it was, unreal and silly as it was, I had the tiniest, tiniest hope that a miracle has happened. That I got everything wrong -- they're not gone, my life's back, I woke up from the nightmare, thank God it's over.

But it was just a passing car. Hay.

I also realized I better get a hold of myself because it looks like I will never be one of those girls who would gush about guys and their shiny new sports cars. If this goes on, I might just fall for the guy with a lemon for a car. One that needs to be warmed up 3 hours before use and exhales fumes like an Irish tobacco piper.

That might just be my happy ending.

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