Saturday, June 21, 2008

Another Lesson for the Big Little Girl

There is a sweetness in waking up to a non-stressful Saturday morning: I woke up greeted by chirping birds, and the soft noise of water splashing while my sister takes a bath. I hear the rumble of passing cars, and I think: all of them are going somewhere today, I am not… and that makes me sooo giddy. I have this day ALL to myself. Yey!

Last night, a friend from college called me up out of the blue to ask how I was. She wanted to meet up next week, and I agreed. But I suppose there are some things she couldn’t wait to ask about. After her sensitive probing about how I am (referring to my parents’ death, I think) she asked in a brighter, chirpier tone, “Oh, eh ang love life?”

To which I replied it isn’t DOA like my parents, because it was never alive to start with. She laughed and proceeded to tell me about her unrequited crush on a Belgian workmate and regaled me of stories about his preference for peach melba and Calvin Klein undershorts. So alam nyo na, segue lang ang pagtatanong. Because she probably knew I had nothing to report, and it’s the perfect jumping point for her to relay facts about her precious Steven (note to friend: most guys named Steven, Stephen, Stefan turn out to be gay). My friends are wily, wily people.

Any other day, I’ll be irritated and would probably make up an excuse to hang up the phone. But last night, I chose to listen instead.

Unrequited you said?

I think I have heard too much of that word not to analyze it carefully and deconstruct people’s concept of it. To Mia (that’s the friend), Unrequited Love is a chase. The guy being foreign probably helps her become more assertive in the pursuit, I don’t know. But amongst my other friends, take Dre for example, UL is the embodiment of the ideal. She likes them distinguished, troubled, and sometimes, bald. For Yel, it is the impossible (i.e.: Pining for a royal Prince never did any good to any girl, unless you’re Kate Middleton).

To me, I realized it’s the imbalance. Love is either overwhelming or underwhelming. But note that it’s not always us at the brute end of the stick. Every time there’s a misalignment of what supports love: trust, need and sacrifice, UL happens. It can happen to any type of relationship: romantic, passionate, filial, and platonic.

It’s just a matter of accepting that some people will love you and some can’t love you the way you want them to, the same way you can never bring yourself to love somebody forcibly. This is a hard, hard lesson to learn. Coz you know, I’ve always been so darn lovable. Heheh!

So Mia can turn triple somersaults in the air, but Steven won’t still date her. Dre can offer ten thousand novenas, but the guy won’t change his mind. Yel can go to London, but she can’t get to the crowned prince.

And I can write about it ad nauseam, but it doesn’t mean I totally understand it.

So there. Another Saturday to set my perspectives straight... I knew this was going to be a fun weekend. I plan to write, paint, philosophize and atrophy. c",) Once in a while, we do get unbelieavably lucky.


  1. hi big little girl! so nice to visit your blog... i remember i was once introduced to this by our common friend S (from hrd, hehe) while we were at a coffee shop.

    thanks for visiting my blog and writing a comment, too!

    hope you don't mind that i'll link you up and include you in my blogroll. :)

    see you around!

  2. Anonymous10:19 PM

    chicka naman to'ng dragon na 'to! hehehe

  3. no prob, ako rin po add kita... S, hindi bawal magleave ng name noh...