I'm in a mood tonight. Do you ever get one of those days when you just worry about everything? Yeah, that happens, eh? Like a persistent vacuum cleaner salesman, it just keeps knocking. You remember the Imarflex man?
Speaking of men, not wanting to sound impatient here, but... All good men seem to be taken nowadays. Kahapon sa Krispy Kreme, may pumasok na 5 guys all wearing white barongs (probably from a nearby corporate office) and all of them were drop-dead cute. As in my first reaction was... Shiite.
Nasan sila sa buhay ko? I have been doing my best, going on with my life, pretending not to notice the dearth of men falling in line outside my door. But days like these, when you wish somebody was there to have carried the laptop for you on the way home... can't help but wonder.
I was also asked a weird question today. Somebody point blank asked me if I was falling for somebody they knew. I'm not stupid, I've been noticing the questioning glances. The best response I can come up with was --- I am sure I am not falling but I can't help but act as if I am. It's hard to explain even to myself.
What I know is, it's been a damn hard year, and it was so easy to depend on this person. He was just there. And he was strong. And he was alive. And it was comfortable to lean on somebody. But I don't want to get too comfortable. I had been vulnerable, probably subconsciously transferring affections to somebody who wasn't buried 6 feet underground; but I think I would have to put my foot down firmly on this one. He's a dear friend --- he'll always be that way. I have to mark the line with my toes --- here, only until here. Not just as a reminder for other people. For me too. I love the guy as I would a brother, but I don't want to fall in love with him. God forbid, that'll be the Neverending Headache.
I have my head clear on this one but I would have to take the emotions by the horn and steer it in a more beneficial direction. Para que pa ang 15 units sa Psychology kung sarili ko na nga lang, hindi ko pa matulungan? What's the point of waiting this long if I would only fall for the wrong one? And, ako pa lang ito, we're not even getting into the whole other side of him not liking me that way either. Hindi lang talaga kami talo.
Pero wait... may mga wrong ones na I wouldn't mind making mistakes with! Hehehe... For example, Adam "Freakin' Divine" Levine. Man-whore image, but he's so yummy, I think I can easily acquire selective amnesia if he asks me out (you know, in a parallel universe or sumthing). Ano nga ba yung sabi ni Leanne Rhimes? He's the Right Kind of Wrong.... the pleasure will be worth the pain, I'm sure. :P
There's also this Anonymous guy who calls himself the Jok3r. I asked a Computer question on Yahoo Answers (laptop problems) and he was one of those who answered. If this is really his pic (which for a geek, I doubt, but secretly hope I'm wrong), then he's a geek and a cutie. Perfect sana. Oh, and did you have to ask? Of course I gave him the award for Best Answer. teeheee... ;p
Oh well. Sabi nga ng isang former student ko sa DLSU, karma comes around, mejo slow lang minsan. :) Sana tama.