Liv in a Life Well-Lived

People are used to looking at me as crazy because of my sensitivity to the supernatural and preternatural. I don't always assert my point because I have always believed people have their own right to believe in what they want to. The issue had always been: Skeptic: There are no ghosts. I've never seen, felt or even sensed one. The problem is, if you don't have the sensitivity, of course you won't sense it. If your mind is used to thinking in logical circles and neatly boxed-in ideas, you wouldn't even begin to imagine it. But sometimes, in certain overtly unnnatural ways, logical people do experience what we do. I've compiled some of the stories some of my friends / acquiantances relayed to me, usually because they wanted to know if I've gone through something similar. The Humming Girl Our admin assistant in my old department does not usually come in early. But that day, she was the first in our office and was quite happy with the prospect of going home earl...

I just want to post here the other winners of the Blogging Contest. I've read most of them, and they're really quite interesting: Grand Prize (trip for 2 to Kuala Lumpur) - Anitokid 1st Runner Up (Sanyo digital camera) - Anton Diaz Winners of a DVD Player Ganns Dean Butch Dado Annabelle Caloschoy Other Winners of the Nike Sunglasses Nikki Rowena Wendy Lei Myrna Co Dine Racoma Thanks again to Sm Hypermarket. :P -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Kainis. Gilda if you're reading this, pahamak ka. :p When you texted Ian about me blogging about him, I had to explain ad nauseaum. Oh well, my fault. I just really needed to psychoanalyze and ready myself before the tragedy strikes, y'know. Hindi naman siya nagalit, but it was a little embarassing. My face felt like a hot tamale. See you Friday. We'll dine, wine and then I'll maim you. Hehe. Just kidding. :P -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I had this dream last night. It felt weird. The setting was some beach paradise I don...

This, I found out today, is the summary of Hairspray the Movie. Oh, yeah, Tracy gets to dance on TV too which in turn led to the integration of colored people and white people in national broadcasting, I nearly forgot. I wouldn't gush about it, because that's like, pathetic. But I'll tell you this: (what the hell) I loved it. Some people would rather hang themselves from the rafters than watch a musical, but I loved it. I have to admit though as a fat girl myself that some parts were a teeny bitty unrealistic. I had to suspend disbelief numerous times, i.e.: 1. Zac Efron who plays the "Boy" noticed Nikki "Tracy" Blonsky when he saw her wiggling her hips in detention class. I mean, yeah, right. I could wiggle my hips and my nose to boot, fat lot that helped me. (no pun intended) 2. The story would have been more believable if Tracy was in love with the host of the dance show (Corny Collins played by James "I can Also shake my booty like a donkey on ...

Victory! For the first time in my life, I actually won a contest open to the public. Yep, my first bit of good news is this: I'm one of the winners of the recently concluded SM Hypermarket Blog Writing Contest! I won meself Nike sunglasses... not the trip to Kuala Lumpur or the digicam (that went to the esteemed Anton and Anitokid), but wahey! Nike is Nike and winning is winning. Check out the page where it's all made official: Winners of th SM Hypermarket Blog Writing Contest Congratulations to the othr winners too! Now, I just want to know how to claim it. Hmmm, would have to ask. I wonder if I won't look daft wearing my new sunglasses this stormy season? But who cares, right? I effing won it! Oh, wait, I am completely unprepared but I have a speech written here somewhere... First of all, I want to thank the Good Lord, and my parents, and my sister, and Aling Marie who was my first yaya, and then Manang Sally, Ms. Manuel my English teacher who taught me how to pronounce ...

When was the last time you came across a phrase about the mysteries of love which you can completely relate to? I ask because I reread the book The Amber Spyglass by Phillip Pullman and there were a couple of lines there that really struck me. Here's the first one: "Being in love was like China: you knew it was there, and no doubt it was very interesting, and some people went there, but I never would. I'd spend all my life without ever going to China, but it wouldn't matter, because there was the rest of the world to visit... (but) I thought: I wan t to go to China." And on first being aware of love: " She felt as if she had been handed the key to a great house she hadn't known was there, a house that was somehow inside her, and as she turned the key, she felt other doors opening deep in the darkness, and lights coming on." Me? I want to go to China and I want to find the house that would feel like home. If I could only be so lucky.

Anyhow, I have so many things to write about. My last post had been Tuesday after all. :p Wednesday: I went on-field for STEP-UP, meaning our program for poverty alleviation in the urban poor areas. It's been so long since I got my feet dirty; and disgusting as it was, it was also... dunno... empowering. Was that the word? It felt good to feel my feet firmly planted on the ground and to meet people again from all walks of life. It felt like a re-entry to the world. It felt like being re-born, actually. If I had camera, I would start by focusing on my muddy feet and then it will pan upwards to my face which is registering a look of sheer staisfaction and then to the cramped streets and makeshift houses, then finally to the faces of the people smiling amidst the squalor. Not aesthetically pleasing, but beautiful and very very real somehow. Thursday: I went to Tanauan, Batangas to assess the training needs of a barangay cooperative which a member company helped in the past. We found t...

I heard the song "Save Room" by John Legend while I was in the bus on my way to work. I smiled when I remembered that Bangyay, a good friend in Sagada, thanked me profusely for a cd I mixed for him and his brother. He said he loved all songs and "Save Room" by John Legend was one of his faves. And because of the traffic, I had nothing better to do so I chose to deconstruct the lyrics of the Legend song. It was only now I realized how apt it was for Bang to like that particular song since he is in the business of managing their family-ran tourist Inn. See here, the first few lines goes like this: Say that you'll stay a little Don't say bye bye tonight (standard innkeeper's prayer) Say you'll be mine just a little of bit of love Is worth a moment of your time knocking on your door just a little (room service?) so cold outside tonight (In Sagada? Like hell has frozen over) let's get the fire burning (the Inn lights a bonfire every night for guest...

Out of a whim, my sister and I perused our old photo albums looking for family pictures. I just noticed that most of my pictures back then showed that was a pain for me to smile. Ella confirmed by saying that I was really like that back then. She called me "serious." Hmmm... so I wasn't the ray of sunshine I thought I was all along then. :P I wonder what effected the change in me? One of my aunts told me that it was probably because I was pressured to perform well in my academics in grade school and high school. I did note that I got to be freer when I started in UP and it was like exhaling after a long long time of holding my breath. But could it also be because of my reading material? Back then, I was really into the classics where lives are always full of suffering and artistic ennui. Now, I read fantasy which lent me wings to soar on my imagination. Back then, mysteries were a pain in the neck, always needing to be understood. Now, mysteries are to be believed in and ...

Weird. You remember that entry I made just before we lef tfor Palawan? I said I wanted to buy a swimsuit that wouldn't make me look like a walking flower patch? And I said I just want a simple black one? Well, rummaging through the Surplus Shop today, I found my ensemble. It's a black tank top just my size and black board shorts that covers the unmentionables on my thighs. Together thy just cost me around Php 450 as opposed to the Php 800 - Php 900 I was expecting if I bought them branded and in-season. Of course it felt a little odd to be buying them in the middle of a ravaging storm that suspended classes for 3 days. But what do I know? Someday I might need to wear swim wear on my way to work, the way it keeps flooding the streets. Trivial as it might sound, here's another proof that everything we want will be given at the right time. :p Yey! Next summer, I will really go snorkeling again. :p

One day in Operations and I went home looking like this: It might take me a while to recover my stride.

I'm about to go up to the third floor to assume my new post. So I suppose this is Olivia the Communications Officer signing off. Don't worry. Tomorrow, Olivia will sign on in as per usual. But we both know it wouldn't be the same, eh? I wish my parents were still here to buffer me up. But we all have to stand alone sooner or later. I'm just glad to be --- still standing.

Today's my last day as Communications Officer of PBSP. Tomorrow morning, instead of ambling towards the spacious first floor office, I have to go up to Calvary with my busted knee. Tomorrow, I'll be Senior Training Officer of the Luzon Regional Operations and I'll be sitting on my cramped desk with 3-months of backlog to catch up with. I think today's my last day of being a well-adjusted, sane human being. Oh, and for the same pay as I'm getting, if I might add. To say I'm scared shite of the stress and amount of work I'd be facing back in Operations is to say the least. But the thing is, if it's the price I have to pay to remain a viable asset to the development field, so be it. In terms of tools in the shed, I want to be sharp. My niche has always been as a frontliner. I need to be where the action is --- NOT because I like it, but because I need to be forced into participating in life. I learn so much more from traveling and meeting people. Nothing co...

Strange Names Alert! I will be talking about people you might have never met or have even known existed. You won't be hearing me saying my girl Avril or supah friend Gwynneth. But if you ARE human, and have friends, you still might be able to relate to my sentiments. A person I would have very much liked to be good friends with is leaving work today. We've worked together in the past, even bonded initially in work-related events, but nothing that would lead to lasting ties. Not yet. My moving back to Operations might have remedied that, but as it happens, today is his last day too. Tomorrow, when I am officially in LRO, he won't even be officially in PBSP. Haha, funny, eh? The thing with Iyad (that's his name) is that he's also young. And he still hasn't imbibed that Edgar Allan "Nevermore" Poe look that most of the remaining Operations members tend to wear on their faces these days. Even Ian, who's also our age, acts and speaks like a grandfather ...

Even the hardest heart would melt with that smile. Okay, if you've been hiding under a rock lately here's the dish: This little girl was snatched from her bed inside a hotel room in Portugal. Their parents were dining out in a nearby Tapas bar and they claimed they had been regularly checking on Maddie and her 2 siblings. Then, someone snatched her from the right under their noses. In the UK, they're swept up with the move to find Maddie. It's become a movement, with millionaires funding the search, offering reward money and whatsuch. Her dad even keeps a journal now on the official Bring Madeline Home website, and last time I checked he was talking about the weather. (Huh? Yeah, exactly my point) And the Philippines isn't exempt from participating: last June 22, we released doves from San Pedro, Laguna simultaneously with other countries as symbol for hope in finding her. My heart goes out this girl. Look at her, so pretty. I don't think they would want to he...

Walking through the city on a downcast day like today feels like being stuck in a film noir. Suddenly, it is all too important to see everything in the light of the un-sunshine pouring from the heavens. This kind of days makes me feel more at ease with myself. It's as if the greyish tint of the surroundings lends me an extra dimension to see with. The surreal quality of it makes other people curse, but hey, I like surreal. It's waaaaaay better than reality sometimes. Even my Ipod seems to be cooperating. I started with the heavenly violins playing Pachabel and then followed it up with a bevy of kitschy summer songs. Just by playing songs worshipping sunshine on a day it does not exist adds to the surrealism. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I woke up with really dark rings under my eyes and splotches of red on my face. Not a "pretty girl" day. But I doubt if anybody else would be waking pretty this morning. :) My bad face day isn't brought about by the weather...

I think I did something wrong today. Ella and I went to the grocery and shopped for food for the week. Now that we're on our own, we eat like college students (read: unhealthy). So our cart was full of canned goods, fresh chicken parts, Cheetos, Stuffins, eggs and instant noodles. Thing is, when we reached the register, the cashier made a mistake in punching in the prices. After punching in a third of our purchases, she hit a key and the screen showed "Enter Bagger ID." Thing is, she did not press ESC when she started lasering the tags of the canned goods --- ALL of the canned goods. By this time, I knew something was wrong, but I wasn't sure, baka nagreregister naman, hindi lang nagshow sa screen. Then she turned her back again to get another plastic bag, and this time she pressed ESC, so the request for bagger ID was gone. Only then did the next items show up on the screen. When we got our receipt, it showed none of the canned goods and it was only then I was sure o...

If you were given a chance to work abroad as a chambermaid for a hotel or as a factory worker, would you take it? A former PBSP employee is recruiting people to work in Canada, either in Alberta or Calgary. My workmates are really excited about it. It seems that there would even be a solution to the $ 2,000 recruitment and processing fee they are constantly worrying about. The compensation is $9 per hour (not counting tips) for 43 hours per month . They have a 2-year contract and they gain privileges to return to the Philippines bi-annually. The Canadian government also provides medical insurance and educational insurance if they have kids. More than this, the Canadian company would be talking to local banks to help finance their applications here. They would even help source out the lodgings. Discussing it over lunch, I briefly glimpsed the future of these girls I have become friends with. I can almost see them walking through the snow, sharing an apartment and babbling over dinner ab...

First Crazy It is with much regret and sorrow that I inform you of my failure to keep myself from falling in love. I have vowed to myself that I will never be played the fool again and that I will refrain from making the same mistake as I have before. I had been struggling for months, telling myself how inappropriate the match is, that I surely will find him immature and hard to handle, playing it hot and cold, but somehow there are instances when logic cannot hold full sway over one’s heart. As always, the love’s probably unrequited. I say probably because I still don’t get it myself. He’d be showy with his affections and then pulling away the next, confiding secrets one moment then impregnable as a boulder a second after. In short, it’s the same old roller coaster ride where I twist and dash my heart unto the jagged rocks of hope, one false step away from desolation. If I can just get over my fixation over holding his hands and forget that his touch is the warmest I’ve felt. Argh. Ha...

I just finished reading the book A Time-Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. Good Lord, was I bothered by the end of that book! The synopsis is that Henry has a genetic illness yet to be discovered in 2000; he is a CPD ( Chrono-Displaced Person) meaning he is chronologically impaired. He met Clare, his future wife, when she was six years old and he was 36. But he married Clare when she was 24 and he was 33 and he didn't know he has time traveled yet so he was seeing her for the first time. See how mixed up it could get? The whole story is driven by this confusion when time cannot move forward as we know it ought. Henry jumps back and forth involuntarily from the future to the past, but always coming back to the present. It got painful for me when it got to the point when Henry, just before the birth of her daughter Alba, meets her as a ten-year-old kid. Alba was in a field trip in a museum and upon spotting her father, jumped up and embraced him. The teacher was visibly unbe...