Tuesday, January 02, 2007

something

Book in Hand: In the Night Garden by C. Valente
Song in Mind: The Journey by L. Salonga

I... am not really sure what to write about. But my instincts are screaming that I must write something. No sense in abandoning this comfort just because the world swung off-kilter. Logic says I should even be doing it more now.

Unsteady for now... but I must churl out the words, each bitter bit must find release, blossom into something light after having been imprisoned somewhere dark. I'm slowly realizing that strength isn't something physical that pushes you on. The courage starts with that seed of belief that maybe, the world doesn't have to end. Maybe, there's enough fiber to hold me together and I don't have to break into a million little pieces.

I will miss my Daddy, that's for sure. But HE had always hoped he brought up a good girl, a strong girl, a daughter who will not bulk at the thought of continuing his legacy. I HOPE I'm that girl.

I wasn't able to give him a fitting eulogy... at least by my standards. It should've been something of epic proportions. But I suppose the best eulogy I can offer my Dad now is a life that testifies to the kind of good person he is. Something in him is in something in us and if I can claim that small light and make it blaze again as a star... maybe that will suffice.

Yeah, it still hurts like I'm being burned in the cauldron of Hephestus, but knowing that in return he is freewheeling amongst the stars, sleeping on the moon and laughing like the sun... the pain is almost nothing.

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