Wannabe...
Book in Hand: Lempriere's Dictionary by Lawrence Norfolk
The First (Famous) Female Fantasy Writer in the Philippines
(F4 Writer for short)
Yesterday, I was idly browsing at our local bookstore when two Filipino publications got my attention. The first was a comic book compilation of fantasy stories called "Fantasya" and the second was a series of books by author Dave Hontiveros with very interesting titles: "Takod", "Craving" and "Parman". You can only imagine how happy I felt to see that publishers in the country are now slowly realizing that there is a healthy market for Filipino-crafted fantasy-inspired tale-weaving.
I glanced through the comic and was a little disappointed. The stories I sped-read through were kind of elementary and predictable. I placed it back on the shelves with a sigh. Girls talking coñotic Taglish, Beerkada-type comic characters (which I love but seemed to take the fantastic from the extraordinary), ten-cents a dozen kind of stories about nuno sa punso, white lady and the like. Still, I concede that it was a good effort. It reminded me that in the 1950s, the US also started from kitschy space alien stories and sword and sorcery yarns. 50 years later, we are now entering the dawning of a new era in Pinoy Lit. Small steps, but I am thankful someone took it.
On the other hand, the book "Parman" showed a bit of promise. It was written in clear English and backed by an interesting plot. It states there that the story is a thriller / dark fantasy hybrid (kinda Gothic) and is set in the Philippines. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough money to buy the book so I just have to wait til the next payday to secure my copy. Still, I walked away from National Bookstore with a light heart, thinking, "There is hope!"
Y'see, I want to be The F4 Writer. A lot of girls are doing very well getting their love stories published by Summit Publications, and for the longest time, I envied them. Sure, I wrote love stories when I was younger and thought I had a good grip on some pretty good formulas, but I gave up on it because I want to write about something that fires me up inside. Right now, the genre that holds me in thrall is fantasy.
Looks like I have to work pretty fast now since opportunities are coming. I can be wrong about being the F4; I'm not sure. Maybe there is a community of Pinay word weavers already dwelling on the fantastic, and has already laid claim to the F4 title. In any case, if I can't be that, then I can always just work on being the DBF2W (Damn Best Filipina Fantasy Writer) of the world. Ehehe... That'll take decades, but hey, Ursula Le Guin, set aside a chair at you tea table 'cos I'm going to get there, no matter what.
Twelve Again
Neil Gaiman noted in his blog that browsing through the Hidden Passages website (www.hiddenpassageway.com) triggers his inner 12-year-old. I realized how he felt when I looked at it myself. I want that!!! Wish I was twelve again because then, I wouldn't know this is highly impractical for our house, entirely too costly and completely unacceptable to my Dad.
But it doesn't make the dull ache to have a revolving bookcase which opens to a secret nave where you can put all the things you hold sacred and dear (rosaries, sure, but also tons of books, cartloads of vanilla ice cream and lots and lots of Post-its) go away any faster. :)
Alive
I was Googling about fifteen minutes ago for anybody who might have beaten me as the F4 (when the idea bites, it sure won't let go fast) and Holly Lisle's site came up (because she's a fantasy writer, although 100% American). By sheer coincidence, I saw the title of an article she wrote which just basically kamikazed my insides due to its familiarity.
At the risk of sounding pretentious, I am posting it here. I do not lay claim that I have a writer's soul, although it will explain my love for the written word ever since I was a kid. I have not published anything, have not submitted anything to publishing houses, even. But I write everyday, I conjure stories everyday and I daydream every second. There is a life I want to live out there, and the only way I can get to it is by writing it. That's all I know.
Here's an excerpt:
Live to Write Another Day
Writers, Depression, and Suicide
© by Holly LisleAll Rights Reserved
Another writer died by her own hand, just two days ago. I got the news this morning. I cannot say I knew her -- to the best of my knowledge, we never met, or exchanged e-mails, though certainly at one point or another we may have. I did not know her. But she was, nonetheless, my sister, and one of my tribe.
And she fell, as so many in my tribe fall.
Psychologists note that writers suffer from a higher-than-normal incidence of depression, that the same qualities that make us writers tend to make us more sensitive to the ups and downs of daily life. I do not know in how many cases this is true, but I know it's true for me. I have faced the abyss of self-destruction once, when things were very bad, but managed to walk away. I've suffered from serious depression on a couple of other occasions, also from situations and events that were unbearable, and unfixable.
I count myself lucky to have gotten this far. Now that I'm here, though, I intend to stay. Because along the way, I've discovered that everything changes, and that no matter how horrible things are, they are not horrible forever. Every moment you're breathing is an opportunity to change. If not your surroundings, your trials, your sufferings, then yourself.
From someone who has found a way to hang on even when things are terrible, I want to pass on to you what I've found. Because my tribe has lost enough voices and enough magic, too soon and needlessly. Don't let it lose yours.
....No matter what might be wrong in my life, this is a time I set aside simply to give thanks for anything that is right. There have been a couple of times when my thanks list was pretty short. But I made it through those times, as I intend to make it through similar times that lie ahead. Because as long as you focus on the darkness, all you'll see is the darkness; the most important thing you can do for yourself when you're curled up down in the hole in the dark all alone is realize that if you just look up and open your eyes, you can see the sun. And other people.
You still have a couple of things going for you. You are, at the very least, still breathing. And so long as you are still breathing, you can affect your world, effect change, save your own life, make a difference for someone else, make things better.
Live to write another day. For yourself. For the rest of your tribe. For all the good you can do.
(This article is written with thanks and deepest gratitude to all the writers who faced the abyss and found the strength to walk away.)
The First (Famous) Female Fantasy Writer in the Philippines
(F4 Writer for short)
Yesterday, I was idly browsing at our local bookstore when two Filipino publications got my attention. The first was a comic book compilation of fantasy stories called "Fantasya" and the second was a series of books by author Dave Hontiveros with very interesting titles: "Takod", "Craving" and "Parman". You can only imagine how happy I felt to see that publishers in the country are now slowly realizing that there is a healthy market for Filipino-crafted fantasy-inspired tale-weaving.
I glanced through the comic and was a little disappointed. The stories I sped-read through were kind of elementary and predictable. I placed it back on the shelves with a sigh. Girls talking coñotic Taglish, Beerkada-type comic characters (which I love but seemed to take the fantastic from the extraordinary), ten-cents a dozen kind of stories about nuno sa punso, white lady and the like. Still, I concede that it was a good effort. It reminded me that in the 1950s, the US also started from kitschy space alien stories and sword and sorcery yarns. 50 years later, we are now entering the dawning of a new era in Pinoy Lit. Small steps, but I am thankful someone took it.
On the other hand, the book "Parman" showed a bit of promise. It was written in clear English and backed by an interesting plot. It states there that the story is a thriller / dark fantasy hybrid (kinda Gothic) and is set in the Philippines. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough money to buy the book so I just have to wait til the next payday to secure my copy. Still, I walked away from National Bookstore with a light heart, thinking, "There is hope!"
Y'see, I want to be The F4 Writer. A lot of girls are doing very well getting their love stories published by Summit Publications, and for the longest time, I envied them. Sure, I wrote love stories when I was younger and thought I had a good grip on some pretty good formulas, but I gave up on it because I want to write about something that fires me up inside. Right now, the genre that holds me in thrall is fantasy.
Looks like I have to work pretty fast now since opportunities are coming. I can be wrong about being the F4; I'm not sure. Maybe there is a community of Pinay word weavers already dwelling on the fantastic, and has already laid claim to the F4 title. In any case, if I can't be that, then I can always just work on being the DBF2W (Damn Best Filipina Fantasy Writer) of the world. Ehehe... That'll take decades, but hey, Ursula Le Guin, set aside a chair at you tea table 'cos I'm going to get there, no matter what.
Twelve Again
Neil Gaiman noted in his blog that browsing through the Hidden Passages website (www.hiddenpassageway.com) triggers his inner 12-year-old. I realized how he felt when I looked at it myself. I want that!!! Wish I was twelve again because then, I wouldn't know this is highly impractical for our house, entirely too costly and completely unacceptable to my Dad.
But it doesn't make the dull ache to have a revolving bookcase which opens to a secret nave where you can put all the things you hold sacred and dear (rosaries, sure, but also tons of books, cartloads of vanilla ice cream and lots and lots of Post-its) go away any faster. :)
Alive
I was Googling about fifteen minutes ago for anybody who might have beaten me as the F4 (when the idea bites, it sure won't let go fast) and Holly Lisle's site came up (because she's a fantasy writer, although 100% American). By sheer coincidence, I saw the title of an article she wrote which just basically kamikazed my insides due to its familiarity.
At the risk of sounding pretentious, I am posting it here. I do not lay claim that I have a writer's soul, although it will explain my love for the written word ever since I was a kid. I have not published anything, have not submitted anything to publishing houses, even. But I write everyday, I conjure stories everyday and I daydream every second. There is a life I want to live out there, and the only way I can get to it is by writing it. That's all I know.
Here's an excerpt:
Live to Write Another Day
Writers, Depression, and Suicide
© by Holly LisleAll Rights Reserved
Another writer died by her own hand, just two days ago. I got the news this morning. I cannot say I knew her -- to the best of my knowledge, we never met, or exchanged e-mails, though certainly at one point or another we may have. I did not know her. But she was, nonetheless, my sister, and one of my tribe.
And she fell, as so many in my tribe fall.
Psychologists note that writers suffer from a higher-than-normal incidence of depression, that the same qualities that make us writers tend to make us more sensitive to the ups and downs of daily life. I do not know in how many cases this is true, but I know it's true for me. I have faced the abyss of self-destruction once, when things were very bad, but managed to walk away. I've suffered from serious depression on a couple of other occasions, also from situations and events that were unbearable, and unfixable.
I count myself lucky to have gotten this far. Now that I'm here, though, I intend to stay. Because along the way, I've discovered that everything changes, and that no matter how horrible things are, they are not horrible forever. Every moment you're breathing is an opportunity to change. If not your surroundings, your trials, your sufferings, then yourself.
From someone who has found a way to hang on even when things are terrible, I want to pass on to you what I've found. Because my tribe has lost enough voices and enough magic, too soon and needlessly. Don't let it lose yours.
....No matter what might be wrong in my life, this is a time I set aside simply to give thanks for anything that is right. There have been a couple of times when my thanks list was pretty short. But I made it through those times, as I intend to make it through similar times that lie ahead. Because as long as you focus on the darkness, all you'll see is the darkness; the most important thing you can do for yourself when you're curled up down in the hole in the dark all alone is realize that if you just look up and open your eyes, you can see the sun. And other people.
You still have a couple of things going for you. You are, at the very least, still breathing. And so long as you are still breathing, you can affect your world, effect change, save your own life, make a difference for someone else, make things better.
Live to write another day. For yourself. For the rest of your tribe. For all the good you can do.
(This article is written with thanks and deepest gratitude to all the writers who faced the abyss and found the strength to walk away.)
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