Liv in a Life Well-Lived

The story of Gea had been swimming inside my head for three years now. I was in fourth year college when I first thought of writing a story, with characters who are just as fantastical and lovely as my real friends in the book club are. As of today, I have revised all of its twelve pages --- not even making one-eight of the whole chapter. I have revised it seven times. I'm starting to believe it's kind of hopeless. It WAS supposed to be an ode to the Book CLub. One character for each of us. And I'm starting to believe that it was my first mistake. I can't base fantastic characters solely on real people I know. I couldn't play around with their destinies much. For instance, I can't make Edvar ( a warrior) fall in love with Muriuell (a nymph) because it'll cause real trouble in my earth-life. I'm sure I can make Pelesse as dark as I want it to be and I would hear no objection from dear Felix, but it'll be too predictable if he's the only one with a...

Book in Hand: Maskerade by Terry Pratchett Song in Mind: Same Ground by Kitchie Nadal FIRST DAY FUNK Tomorrow's the first day of CWTS classes in De La Salle. That is the reason why my desk is clothed with yellow post-its and belabored with my notebooks right now. Who says teachers get all the fun? (For those who are not quite following: I'm facilitating civic welfare training service classes every Saturday in DLSU). They also have to study as the students do. I learned that from my parents who are both professors. Why d'ya think out house is bursting at the seams with a variety of books? Another wrong notion is that teachers look forward to the first day of classes with a sadistic kind of pleasure. Ha! It could get kind of scary for us too. I'm meeting complete freshies tomorrow, and some might think that's easy. But nobody could really tell the kind of little devils they might turn out to be. SPREAD YOURSELF THIN This is of course utterly impossible for me if taken...

Book in Hand: Beyond Imagination ( a compilation of fantasy stories) I'm not sure if it's just me, but I just keep making the mistake of thinking it's Friday already. (Okay, okay, it's just me...) I can't believe it's only been two days into the work week. Egad, time crawls around here. GEEKS RULE!!! Last night, I went to Glorietta to attend the 3rd Philippine Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention. How absolutely geeky. :) Norman spoke highly of last year's convention that's why, this time, I promised myself I won't let the event just pass me by. Un-for-tunately, this year's event was just a going-through-the-motion stuff. The G ACtivity Center was a little too small for the convention, and it might also have done better if it was slated during a weekend. Still, it wasn't half as bad as I make it sound. There were lots of booths to browse through, mostly Star Wars art stuff. The best thing about the gathering was that, you could be as geeky ...

Book in Hand: Maskerade by Terry Pratchett Song in Mind: Run by Kitchie Nadal A couple of days back, I was sitting on an unmade bed, overheated and overstressed. And more than that, there was also a weird sensation churning inside my chest. No amount of sporadic coughing could dislodge it. I thought it was my lunch stuck inside there somewhere, blocking an artery or something. Man, I thought I was having a heart attack! But when I realized what it was, I could've welcomed a heart attack more. No kidding. The realization hit me so hard, I had to gasp. Maybe to make sure that oxygen would reach my brains --- hoping it would activate a defense mechanism which could save me. God, I can't be. Couldn't be. I refuse to be. I'm not completely stupid, I'm pretty sure, but geez, I could be pretty convincing sometimes. Technically, I've not yet -- fallen. But so near the edge that the darkness could just slither up one hand to pull me in and I'd be lost. The first time...

Book in Hand: Wala! Sobrang Haven't Opened a Book the Whole Week! Song in Mind: Love Moves in Mysterious Ways ni Nina (Again!) Word in Mouth: Go! Go BLUE Go! Ah! Ganito pala ang pakiramdam ng talunan. Interesting. :) Aynaku, it's not as if I I really, really care for the sportsfest. It's just a series of games and it amazes me, amuses me and annoys me to no end that everyone (esp. my team) should be so competitive about it. I've always hated situations wherein people aren't getting along, silly pacifist that I am. I get embarassed everytime my team wanted to assert something. I don't know. Maybe they were just right to fight for their ideas, but man, the ideas they have naman are so funny *way out there*! Biruin mo, ang fun game eh Paint Me A Picture and they want to ask the harassed hosts of the event, bakit daw kailangan mag-freeze kasi gusto nila ipakitang gumagalaw yung mga bagay para maintindihan daw ano ginagawa. Por diyos! Eh, picture nga eh! The point i...

I heard a song by Noel Cabangon today with "Kagampan" somewhere in its title. The lyrics were written in super deep Tagalog that I cannot understand half of the words but it had a superb over-all effect. There's a line there that says: " Gusto kong mabuhay sa lugar na kagampan ng langit at lupa'y mapayapa... at ang buhay ay giting ang pusod ng bawat hininga.." Niiice. The only time I've ever written Filipino poetry was in high school --- back when I still had to for class. But if I was ever any good, I want to write something just like that. It just has this uplifting effect; I still smile wistfully when I remember those lines. Also, something hilarious happened to me and Ella today. I haven't laughed that hard in weeks! We had our picture taken, or rather, our portraits drawn by this machine we found in the games arcade. It's similar to those Foto-me booths where you go sit inside and pose for a pic. It took us sometime to figure out how to mani...

wahaha! tawa na lang ako... kasi kung iiyak ako at pilantod na nga, eh di sobrang wa poise na yun. at least pag namumula mata mo, you can have the grace of walking straight and erect.. para bang sinasabi na -- damn it, I may cry too much, but that's so I can unload my frustrations and walk with dignity pa rin. eh kung ganito, ang labas mo lang ay -- iyaking pilantod. lakad kampanerang kuba. Had a bit of accident playing basketball last night. I didn't feel the full effect of my sprained ankle until late into the evening. I do walk like the Hunchback of the Notre Dame. I don't know how to thank Ian for driving all the way to Philcoa from our out of the way office just so it'll be easier for me to find a ride. And Eman and Gilda for making me laugh all the way there. Alam mo, Peloy, dearest, ayaw ko na rin ng drama. Punong-puno na ang utak ko. Ayaw ko ng buhay na mala-telenovela. Kaya nga every single day, I try my best to be Smiley-faced Olivia. Pero minsan lang talaga, ...

Oh dear Lord... when the blues bite ya'r leg, sure won't let go easy. Today, I just totally broke down. And I don't mean sniffled and wheezed a bit for drama and effect. I bawled my heart out, sucked all my tears out through the ducts and almost spurted it out my ears. I am definitely not okay today. STill, after my lunch time solo drama in the dorm room of PBSP, I had to assume a certain amount of composure to make it til afternoon. So, I just pushed the emotions out, left myself empty. Empty is a delicious feeling. It just lets you not --- feel. I know I can't make it a habit, which is just too bad, but it's a mechanism that helps me cope now. Played a bit of basketball this afternoon in preparation for the sports fest and I found out I haven't unlearned my 1.25 in sophomore college P.E. although I am a bit out of shape. I managed to become heavier now (for some reason, I just seem to take to expanding as if I'm the universe heading for implosion), but I...

BUT I MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT. I'm one of those who just can't wait for summer to be over. The other night, I almost cried with relief and happiness when it rained cats and dogs. Summer heat affects my brains too much and I just- can't - function - properly- at - all. The last few weeks I have been making a lot of mistakes at work. And it all blew up at my face last Monday. If I get through this SUMMER -- I can get through FREAKING EVERYTHING! So, thank you for all those who visited my sites during my brief dance with ennui. I'm back now. I think. The moment I feel sad again, inom lang siguro ako ng C2. Uhaw lang yan. :)

Five seconds ago, while logging into blogger, I was already formulating my thesis statement for today's blogging piece. I actually wanted to discuss Encantadia, Mulawin, Darna, Krystala and the whole slop.... or maybe, more specifically, the Filipino concept of fantasy. And how it's being murdered by teleserye directors, editors, scriptwriters and actors. But friggin' hello. Like I care. Not tonight. Right now, all I have are empty spaces inside of me. Let the geek goddess discuss her geeky topic some other day. And my Tori Amos soundtrack isn't helping. Tonight, the music is paralyzing me into a static form of ennui. I can't erase it. I'll tell you a secret. Something I have always been afraid to say aloud, fearing that giving words to it would make it come true. Imagine --- to hex yourself into losing the most important thing you've ever had. But this one's been eating at me and maybe I have to pull at it, draw it out, study it until I know what to do ...

Book in Hand: Tris' Book (Magic Circle Quartet) Song in Mind: Burn by Tina Arena It's another Wednesday. Not that I consider knowing that as such a great mental feat that I have to announce it on this blog every single time. I just don't like the consistency of this mid-week blahs. I just don't like being so predictable, even to myself. But I do love how things have been working out the last few days. A few stuff I'm happy about: 1. Walang pasok nung Monday 2. I'm not so stressed out sa work -- kahit marami pa ring gagawin suddenly okay lang siya... (bakit kaya???) :) 3. Mariel started working yesterday sa Canon --- galing! 4. Andrea seems prepared to take her Board Exams this Saturday. 5. May Choco Flakes ako, uwi ni Ian from Baguio. 6. Mapapanuod ko ang Finding Neverland this weekend, hiramin ko DVD ni kapatid na Ian. Wala na kasi siya sa cinema... :( 7. May bago akong nakilala na bookworm din -- at long last -- a fantasy freak in PBSP! Tsk, tsk, lucky seven.....

Kita ko 'to sa page ni Hanne... she said she was smiling when she read this... And turns out, ako rin... =P LOVE~ writer unknown Nakakatawa talaga ang love. Isa siyang napakalaking oxymoron. Lahat ng pwede mong masabi sa kanya, baliktarin mo at totoo pa rin. Ang labo diba? Pero ang linaw. Masaya magmahal. Malungkot magmahal. Di mo naiintindihan pero naiintindiahan mo. Walang rason. Maraming rason. Di mo na kaya, pero kaya mo pa rin. Masakit magmahal. Pero okey lang. May kaibigan ako, sabi niya dati love is only for stupid people. Nakakatawa kasi laude and standing niya, pero dumating and panahon, na-in-love din ang hunghang. At ayun, tanga na siya ngayon. Lahat kasi ng nahahawakan ng love nagiging oxymoron din. O kaya paminsan, nagiging moron lang. Hindi lang kasi basta baliktaran ang pag-ibig. Lahat ng bagay nababaligtad din niya. Lahat ng malalakas na tao, humihina. Ang mayayabang, nagpapakumbaba. Ang mga walang pakialam, nagiging Mother Teresa. Ang mga henyo, nauubusan ng sagot....

The Happiest People There sure a lot of weird surveys being conducted today. But out of the weird lot, something nice do come out once in a while. I read in the paper today that in a recent survey called World Values Survey conducted by social scientists all over the world, Filipinos were ranked as the happiest people in Asia, and 6th happiest in the world. Nigeria, Mexico and Venezuela were the top three. =P (The song HAPPY plays over and over in my head) See, a country doesn't have to be rich to be happy. And it's sort of comforting to know that culturally, we're a happy lot. Lalo na ngayon na sobrang kabanas ang buhay. Grabe na. Everyday, if you just let it bother you, there are a million things to complain about. Hehe, and we Filipinos do complain loud enough. So it's something good to be affirmed that even if we do grumble a lot, we still are basically cheerful. Kahit magtaas na ng magtaas ang gasolina, kahit may VAT, kahit may mga taong tulad ni Erap sa mundo, kah...