Liv in a Life Well-Lived

. Outside the lights are fading Into crisp October nights Where the cold is almost biting Like air from mountain heights. Inside the candles flicker Reminding me of you How much you loved the softer glow, its warmer, gentler hue. Soon I will be lighting candles Upon your silent graves Lay flowers tied in bundles Grief assaulting me in waves. They said the years will cure me Of the sorrow and despair They expect I move on swiftly But I hardly think thats fair. How can a child forget so soon The hands that soothed pain? The love that shone ever bright A beacon through the rain? This child leaned on majestic rocks Dependable and strong Now all she’s got are sticks and stones To divine what’s right from wrong. ... No, forgetting is a sin and I Have plans to never fall I’ll wait even if it means I’ll hurt and cry Until the day I hear you call.

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied Who told me time would ease me of my pain! I miss him in the weeping of the rain; I want him at the shrinking of the tide; The old snows melt from every mountain-side, And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane; But last year's bitter loving must remain Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide. There are a hundred places where I fear To go - so with his memory they brim. And entering with relief some quiet place Where never fell his foot or shone his face I say, 'There is no memory of him here!' And so stand stricken, so remembering him. -Edna St Vincent Millay (1892 -1950)

I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging as regularly as before. I have been… pre-occupied with something. But much better now after spending a little time with girlfriends who always say things as it is. What happened was I have a friend who, out-of-the-blue snuck kisses on my cheek. A couple of times. Maybe it wasn’t the kiss that got me confused; it’s who was giving it. I wasn’t sure how to act. So the manang in me did, said, showed nothing. Maybe that was a mistake. Maybe I should’ve whined, slapped him or jibed about it. But my instinct had always been “shut up and think” when it comes to unfamiliar territory so my neurons were too busy processing data and failed to commandeer any show of immediate distinctive and definitive response. I think any convent-school-raised girl will have the same stupefaction I’ve had because I have never really had guy friends growing up and those I became close with are far in-between and few. And some of them are gay. So, as for standards for how a girl an...

Just got back from Bicol province yesterday where I spent one week engaging in at least 1 of the 3 abovementioned things. Friday We flew to Legazpi and since some of my companions have never seen the city, we hired a van to tour us around. The works, nothing I haven’t seen before. Pero iba pala talaga pag may kasamang baguhan kasi parang nagiging exciting ulit. Visited Cagsawa Ruins, a couple of churches, then passed by CWC on the way to Naga where we were staying for the next 3 nights. Saturday Preparations for Damae’s wedding. Two words: Super stressful. Ganun pala ikasal? Nakakabaliw. And to think hindi pa ako member of the family or the bride. Damae, after one of her countless pre-church pictorials said, “Kakapagod maging bride.” I was just a damn ssecondary sponsor and emcee, but I agree. Probably because OCD and Passive-Aggressive yung organizer niya.. Organizers are supposed to handle stress well. And if you keep prodding your people to Smile!, make damn sure you smile as well. ...

Er... make that Manzone. They certainly aren't boys anymore. Boy, oh boy. Yeah, so I was completely enamored of this guys back then. And you know what? I am not ashamed to pull up my Irish-loving jammies and still say I loved Boyzone when I was a teener. C'mon, everyobody's got their phases. My Mum loved Victor Wood -- go figure. If only because watching them do ridiculous dances in snappy suits brings back good old memories, I can even say, I love them still. This is their newly released video for "Love You Anyway." The song is a certified LSS-inducer. I know. It's been ringing in my head for the last 28 hours. The video though is silly with a capital S. Haven't really stopped laughing since I saw it this morning. Here it is then, so you can laugh and shake your head along with me. :) P.S. Stephen's still cute, by the way. :) But Shane and Keith are like, hotter, than I remember them to be. Is it only me or Mikey looks like Chandler Bing? And Ronan......

I wrote this last year: It now feels like a lifetime away. Thank God! -=--=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-= For years, you encase your heart in glass, to make sure nothing can get to it. Like lost minstrels in the woods, men come and go and some catch your eye while most do not. But you only ever give your heart to one. If it gets broken, you retreat inside yourself, nursing the wounds, until you think you are alright. You swear off losing your heart to anyone else. And you succeed… for a while. But when you least expect it, somebody comes to break down the defenses…. again. And this time, you just know it would kill you if he cannot give back his heart in return. I have only given my heart away twice: then and now. The first time I jumped at the possibility. This time around I fought the feeling while kicking and screaming. The first time, I had a choice to fall or not. This time around I only realized it when it was already too late to dissuade my heart. Not even the threat of deep shame over the r...

I've just come to realize that a lot of Scottish actors are pretty... well, for lack of a better word... hot. And talented, of course, that too. Do you know these guys? Ewan McGregor Hello! You must've been hiding under a rock the last decade to not recognize this hunk. His more acclaimed works has been in Moulin Rouge and Trainspotting. He also has a documentary on NatGeo about Riding down to Africa. Oh, and not bad a voice either. Not fantastic, but quite good. Gerard Butler He's that muscle bound man in 300 and he's been getting a lot of eyeing from the ladies since then. Even my friend Sep has fallen for his charms and I can hardly blame her. His other films are mostly released in UK but I'm sure we'll hear more about this guy in a few. Dougray Scott Remember that guy who played Prince Charming in Ever After? He also played another prince in the Hallmark rendition of the Arabian Nights. Last I heard, he married Meet Joe Black's Claire Forliani and I dare...

File Sharing File sharing is phenomenal. I really can’t believe people can get away with it. So much material are just floating in cyberzone and I’ve had so much loot since I was introduced to mininova and limeware. I know there are issues about piracy and it’s so very hard to find legal content. I’m not gonna play high and mighty, I do download a lot, whether licensed or not. I know I ought to feel guilty, but… the real stuff cost a lot. Even my students have dozens of movies filed away in their laptop hardware. And now, it won’t take me forever to find books, movies or music I want to hear. Press some keys and a click and the world really is under your fingertips.Uh-mazing. Disturbia I’m talking about the film and not Rihanna’s song. I legally borrowed the dvd from a shop and took my own sweet time watching it. But when I did, I was literally sitting at the edge of my seat throughout the whole thing! It was seriously one heck of a suspense film. Given that I don’...

This post has no other purpose other than providing eye candy. See? Utterly useless. But very sweet.

What scares her the most aren't vampires or ghouls or even robbers and rapists. Those terrific shows that paints horror as black and red aren't even close to the real terrors hidden within a man's heart. Their fangs and their knives along with the blood curdling scream does not have the same terrifying power that failure does. It does not make the heart quail or the soul shiver. No, the worst nightmare isn't naything set in the fantastic. All of it is here, quite near, embedded deep into reality. What frightens her the most is that she would never amount to anything. What scares her is that belief that she's special, that she can do and can be, is nothing but a load of bull. She can paint majestic dreams but what use will they be if they'll be nothing but? Everyday, the reality that dreams will never be true permeates her existence. She has nothing but what she could conceive of. If they are nothing, she is nothing. The scariest place is here. Mediocrity in real...

Yeah, I watched it. The same way I watched Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 1. It's still the same silly premise: a pair of pants that magically fit 4 girls and supposedly makes miracles happen. I hurt just telling you about it. I mean, the premise is that bad. But this is a movie you watch not because of the story but because of the stars. All 4 girls in the movie had moved on to become famous one way or another. My favorite, Alexis Bledel is better known for her role in the Gilmore Girls. Amber Tamblyn is Joan in the tv series Joan of Arcadia. America Ferrera IS Ugly Betty (and fabulous at it) and Blake Lively rose like a rocket because of Gossip Girl. To top it all off, ALL of them are gorgeous. I wish I could give an apt synopsis, but that's just like asking the reasons for existence of a bimbo. Bridget (Lively) has family drama, Lena (Bledel) has boy troubles, Tibby (Tamblyn) had a pregnancy scare and Carmen (Ferrera) needed to get over some insecurity issues. That's ...

. Christina Ricci has always been perfect for off-the-beaten-path movies. It suits her weird aura and her quirky acting style. It's as if she instantly puts a dark tone to anything she touches. Anyhow, she'd also been stuck doing charming but undistinguishable films lately. I think this might be one of those yet again. . This Reese-Witherspoon-produced movie was filmed back in 2006 and had been shelved for 2 years. It was finally released last February 2008 and nobody really knew why. It baffled me for a while because the names in the movie are interesting enough. Aside from Ricci, Witherspoon also stars in a blabbermouth cameo role. Plus James McAvoy of course, and Catherine O'Hara, Peter Dinklage, oh I mean, real stars for cast. . The story revolves around Penelope Wilhern who was born with a snout of a pig due to a curse cast upon her great, grea, great grandfather. The movie wants her to come across as pig-ugly, but the miscalculation came in when they cast Ricci for th...

This silly girl is quite intent on watching ALL of James McAvoy’s movies she could get her hands on. So far, I’ve watched: Last King of Scotland, Wanted, Narnia, Atonement, Wimbledon (yes, he was there) and Penelope which Ian got for me. And my still-to-find list includes: Children of Dune Becoming Jane Starter from 10 Rory O’Shea Was Here If you guys have any idea where I can find these, I’d love to know.

If you've been paying attention to your Yahoo News page, you'd see one of the top stories is about this middle school Math teacher convicted of sex crime with her student. Her name's Kelsey Peterson, she teaches in Lexington Middle School in Nebraska and she had an affair with her then 12-year-old student named Fernando. . In fairness, this Fernando guy is tall, like my height, 5'8" and heavy set. Kelsey claims there came a point they didn't see age anymore and she just saw him as a man. When asked why she was even attracted to the boy, she said of the boy involved in gangs "I saw potential in him, and I think I can change this guy." I watched the short clip on yahoo news and I expected to find that stereotypical sex offender woman. You know: withdrawn, unkempt, weird, barely coherent, broken. But I was bothered by Peterson's clarity of thought. She had a spark in her, an intelligence which probably attracted students to her as well. She said she ...