Sunday, January 27, 2008

26 Things People Ought To Know About Me

That is, if they cared. But I'm Turning 26 today, it's my day! So it's easier to pretend people care! :p

1. I have increased my book hoard by 80% the last year, it's now at 2,879, no, bought 2 kanina so, 2,881 books. And to think I sold 109 books last year to increase shelf space. Swear, my house will be a virtual black hole someday. It'll just implode with the sheer weight of words per square meter.

2. I am addicted to black blouses and frilly cream shirts. Go figure.

3. I am earning a measly 16,800 basic pay plus 2,000 in benefits so I cannot support having 2 addictions. Either the books or the blouses have to stop. Okay. The blouses have to stop.

4. I went down from size 22 to size 18 due to the weight I lost while in the hospital for 2 weeks.

5. I crave for Century Tuna Flakes in Vegetable Oil at least 1x a week.

6. I can only eat 4 Krispy Kreme doughnuts in one sitting. After that, I'd probably pass out due to hyperglycemia. (I shouldn't eat it anyway)

7. I like European style sausages --- by this I mean Schueblig, Cevalat, Hungarian, et. al.

8. When shopping, a thrill runs down my spine everytime I pass the School Supplies section. Another go figure.

9. I prefer those small carts which carries 2 shopping baskets over the large unwieldy metal cart.

10. I think Colonel Sanders should be post-humously sainted or knighted or both. KFC nourishes my soul more than one could ever think. (Don't start yakking about organically manipulated chick, please, I'll still eat it anyway.)

11. I think Vegans are people with very strong will. Or they're secretly scared of porkchops. Or they're actually closeted anorexics.

12. When I was younger, I had crushes on guys who were brilliant at one thing or another. Secretly, I think I just wanted to compete with them.

13. I liked to think I'm a warm, emphatic creature. But I recently realized, People exhausts the bejeezus outta me.

14. I like chilis. Hotter, better.

15. I like patis with vinegar on rice too, especially when eating tapa or vigan longganisa.

16. I have an unexplicable fixation about the way people's feet smell. Probably because I think mine stinks.

17. I think I have led myself to believe that putting on Olay Total Effects the night before actually makes me prettier the next day. (The thinking part of me knows it's just a confidence thing though)

18. My sister is the only person in the world who can make me seethe with unholy anger. The rest I just play at so I can imitate a real person who feels things.

19. That's maybe why, although I thought I'm friendly, I may just be a fake. A lot of people who call me a friend could still easily revert back to "cardboard character" mode in my life. Only a very, very select few are let in. And even then, I'm worried every moment they'll hurt me or leave me.

20. I am melodramatic to the point that I would literally stop to appreciate wild daisies just because I keep thinking that if I were filming my own life, I'd like this to be one of those pretty shots. Which of course makes me feel overtly superficial.

21. I wish someone would make an MTV of me before I die.

22. As a kid, I used to think I could have telekinetic powers if I tried harder. This was in conjunction with the "I see dead people" thing. It sucks to have a gift you absolutely have no interest in and not have the superpower you really want. Look here: ghosts, apparitions, black cats in windows, eerie midnight pipe music and juxtapose it with blinking at tv to change channels, get Coke from the fridge without lifting my butt from the sofa, not putting down my book when my Mummy wanted something upstairs, cleaning house without lifting a finger. Man. It doesn't even come close.

23. I have assessed that the past year, I have learned to feel less. Death dulls the heart a little I think. Maybe I'll get back to my regular programming in a couple more years post-grief.

24. I want a boyfriend. Now na. Well, maybe not immediately now. Kawawa naman siya, baka mahawa sa kabaliwan ko. Thing is, i don't see somebody inventing the right medicines to make me sane any time in the near future. And that's like... so lonely naman.

25. I will name my first son David.

26. Huh? 26 na? So I guess I ought to live a little longer for me to tell a few more things. Here's my last fact for this entry: Today, I am almost me again. Hope it stays a little a while.


To all the people I've treated like cardboard, I'm very sorry. To all those I let in and then shut down, sorrier still. To those who are IN, and having a hard time figuring me out, please choose to stay and help me figure myself out. Some of you have huge potential to hurt me. Some of you already ARE hurting me just by being let in too far. But I'll trust and I'll believe. I have loved you in ways too far gone anyways. Not like I could turn around and choose a different path. I am giving life my all. I'm really trying.

Believe me, it's the truth.

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