Gurped
Yet another invented word.
Gurped (root word gurp) means an act of asking why, who, what and where all at the same time.
I.e. Today, Olivia had to wake up at 2 am so as to go to work by 3 am and she completely gurped about the point of it all.
Maybe I should just keep this word-inventing... I might just be able to make one whole language system out of it.
_***_***_***_***_
It is true though that I woke up at 2 am this morning just so I could leave the house by 2:30 and be at the pick-up place going to Olongapo City by 4 a.m. I had to be 250 kilometers away from Manila by 6 a.m. Hay, let's just say I've been a victim of the best mislaid plan of the year.
This used to excite me, the land travel counterpart of the "jet-set" life. I should be totally swazzled about having breakfast in Zambales, lunch in Pampanga and return just in time for dinner in Caloocan City. There were days I had it worst: breakfast in QC, lunch in Vizcaya, snacks in Isabela, dinner in Cagayan Province. Back then, I was actually looking forward to how my life would progress from that awkward Luzon-based spot-dining into a much larger arena: having breakfast in Manila, lunch in Hongkong, Dinner in Brussels.
Today though, I aged an additional fourteen years in just three hours (approx. the time it took us to reach Olongapo from QC). I found myself asking, why? WHY the heck should I want that? What is the point? Who must I become to actually like living like that? Where shall they pick up my battered carcass after five more years of this kind of work?
See? Totally gurped. And nowhere to go.
One good thing is, suicide will be jumping the gun (forgive the pun) and pointless in this kind of lifestyle. I mean, just stay where you are and do what you do and you can guarantee you'd be dead (or soul-dead, which is worse) by the time you're forty.
_***_***_***_***_
To happier climes...
I came home early today and albeit my half-zombie state, actually felt kind of calm. It's only 8:13 p.m. and I can still read a book. I can still blog. Y'know, like have an Earth- life before I go to the Otherland tonight.
Which brings me to what I've been kind of wondering about lately. What is the best way to influence dreaming? I mean, let's say, you want to dream about -- (oooh.... wait, so many exciting things... aha! got it!) Let's say I want to dream about BOOKS, or having a conversation with Neil Gaiman where I ask him what kind of shampoo he uses for his gooey hair. How should I prepare myself before sleeping?
Sometimes, I think I have the hang of it already. I just flash the image or the idea of a feeling in my mind ONCE -- just once but with feelings. Overthinking of it almost always assure I will not see hide nor shadow of whatever it is I wanted to dream about. If I allow just one picture with one powerful emotion, I sometimes dream of what I want to although situations in the dream are rarely what I would have hoped they are.
But then on off-days, some scary stuff would still go in there. Worst nightmare I ever had (well, actually, there's more than one) involves being chased by ghouls. One time I dreamt of witches hovering outside my window (or I hope I was dreaming, can't be sure). But I guess, it's kind of worth it because those were also the dreams I dispelled the night by clapping my hands and singing the Our Father (say, what?), or I fly away on a comb (yes, a comb, don't ask) and successfully leave them eating my dust.
Wait, should I go totally Jung-ian and interpret my dreams? Can it be that hardships bring out the best in me? Well, isn't it that case for everyone? Could be myself telling myself I should stop whining and just bear the grunt since everything I'm going through is all for "building character and stuff."
Yeah, it sure is "and stuff".
I suppose I just am wishing hard tonight, to dream happy dreams. I believe I need it. Dont' we all?
Good night, y'guys (and gals).
Gurped (root word gurp) means an act of asking why, who, what and where all at the same time.
I.e. Today, Olivia had to wake up at 2 am so as to go to work by 3 am and she completely gurped about the point of it all.
Maybe I should just keep this word-inventing... I might just be able to make one whole language system out of it.
_***_***_***_***_
It is true though that I woke up at 2 am this morning just so I could leave the house by 2:30 and be at the pick-up place going to Olongapo City by 4 a.m. I had to be 250 kilometers away from Manila by 6 a.m. Hay, let's just say I've been a victim of the best mislaid plan of the year.
This used to excite me, the land travel counterpart of the "jet-set" life. I should be totally swazzled about having breakfast in Zambales, lunch in Pampanga and return just in time for dinner in Caloocan City. There were days I had it worst: breakfast in QC, lunch in Vizcaya, snacks in Isabela, dinner in Cagayan Province. Back then, I was actually looking forward to how my life would progress from that awkward Luzon-based spot-dining into a much larger arena: having breakfast in Manila, lunch in Hongkong, Dinner in Brussels.
Today though, I aged an additional fourteen years in just three hours (approx. the time it took us to reach Olongapo from QC). I found myself asking, why? WHY the heck should I want that? What is the point? Who must I become to actually like living like that? Where shall they pick up my battered carcass after five more years of this kind of work?
See? Totally gurped. And nowhere to go.
One good thing is, suicide will be jumping the gun (forgive the pun) and pointless in this kind of lifestyle. I mean, just stay where you are and do what you do and you can guarantee you'd be dead (or soul-dead, which is worse) by the time you're forty.
_***_***_***_***_
To happier climes...
I came home early today and albeit my half-zombie state, actually felt kind of calm. It's only 8:13 p.m. and I can still read a book. I can still blog. Y'know, like have an Earth- life before I go to the Otherland tonight.
Which brings me to what I've been kind of wondering about lately. What is the best way to influence dreaming? I mean, let's say, you want to dream about -- (oooh.... wait, so many exciting things... aha! got it!) Let's say I want to dream about BOOKS, or having a conversation with Neil Gaiman where I ask him what kind of shampoo he uses for his gooey hair. How should I prepare myself before sleeping?
Sometimes, I think I have the hang of it already. I just flash the image or the idea of a feeling in my mind ONCE -- just once but with feelings. Overthinking of it almost always assure I will not see hide nor shadow of whatever it is I wanted to dream about. If I allow just one picture with one powerful emotion, I sometimes dream of what I want to although situations in the dream are rarely what I would have hoped they are.
But then on off-days, some scary stuff would still go in there. Worst nightmare I ever had (well, actually, there's more than one) involves being chased by ghouls. One time I dreamt of witches hovering outside my window (or I hope I was dreaming, can't be sure). But I guess, it's kind of worth it because those were also the dreams I dispelled the night by clapping my hands and singing the Our Father (say, what?), or I fly away on a comb (yes, a comb, don't ask) and successfully leave them eating my dust.
Wait, should I go totally Jung-ian and interpret my dreams? Can it be that hardships bring out the best in me? Well, isn't it that case for everyone? Could be myself telling myself I should stop whining and just bear the grunt since everything I'm going through is all for "building character and stuff."
Yeah, it sure is "and stuff".
I suppose I just am wishing hard tonight, to dream happy dreams. I believe I need it. Dont' we all?
Good night, y'guys (and gals).
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