The Fourth Gilmore

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I spent my college days loyally watching the Gilmore Girls every Saturday night. And yes, I was one of those who watched it because a part of me is drowning in sheer envy of the beepy-boppitiness of Rory and Lorelei's lives. Come on, how aesthetically pretty could one life get, huh? But somehow, it wasn't too saccharine-sweet to turn me off. Somehow, part of me can still relate to their story or maybe a part of me holds on to the belief that maybe my life would be just as fizzy as theirs - - someday.

I kind of stopped watching it the past year though, because 1) I'm not sure what day they show it anymore, and 2) It increasingly scares me that I expect myself to be the Fourth Gilmore.

Ahehe... weird but true. I keep comparing my reactions to Rory's. I keep asking why can't I handle things the same way, or why do people not react the same to me when I do stuff I thought was stupifyingly cute on her? Now, Lorelei, she's Thirty++ years old right? And she's still as flaky and silly as ever. Surely, I must have license to be just as immature at 24? The thing I keep forgetting though is that they are fictional characters. They can be as devastatingly goddess-like, flaky, silly or cruel as they want to be because all they have to deal with are other fictional people and contrived situations. Even if they weren't made-up, the two girls are still too pretty to be ever treated as normal people. Unlike me, who can never be normal but perhaps sickening in my averageness. So I avoided it because my life started to feel listless in comparison.

Tonight, my sister blackmailed me to stay and watch the show by saying how much she misses our bonding sessions with the Gilmores and I did not have the heart to say no. Ergo, I was struck again by how much I wanted the kind of life those girls live. Even with their petty squabbles and focus on the exhaustively minutiae, I want it.

Hay, I guess there's no denying I was brainwashed to believe that being fawned over by a whole town, fought over by two (now four) cute guys, going to Yale, having a car to total and it'll be no big thing because the grandparents will take care of it, having great hair all the time, fitting in swimsuits and little dresses without looking grossly inappropriate is the A-list life...

But then again, I hold off my ranting and I realize now that, no matter how booooring my life sounds and how miserable it can sometimes get, I can also like what I have. It is human nature to want more, but I think I'm okay. I think it could only get better from where I am.

It can't hurt to dream of becoming goddess-like and constantly adorable, can it? I just hope to God it won't come true, because what would I have to live for then, if I had it all, huh? :)

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