Liv in a Life Well-Lived

The story of Gea had been swimming inside my head for three years now. I was in fourth year college when I first thought of writing a story, with characters who are just as fantastical and lovely as my real friends in the book club are. As of today, I have revised all of its twelve pages --- not even making one-eight of the whole chapter. I have revised it seven times. I'm starting to believe it's kind of hopeless. It WAS supposed to be an ode to the Book CLub. One character for each of us. And I'm starting to believe that it was my first mistake. I can't base fantastic characters solely on real people I know. I couldn't play around with their destinies much. For instance, I can't make Edvar ( a warrior) fall in love with Muriuell (a nymph) because it'll cause real trouble in my earth-life. I'm sure I can make Pelesse as dark as I want it to be and I would hear no objection from dear Felix, but it'll be too predictable if he's the only one with a...

Book in Hand: Maskerade by Terry Pratchett Song in Mind: Same Ground by Kitchie Nadal FIRST DAY FUNK Tomorrow's the first day of CWTS classes in De La Salle. That is the reason why my desk is clothed with yellow post-its and belabored with my notebooks right now. Who says teachers get all the fun? (For those who are not quite following: I'm facilitating civic welfare training service classes every Saturday in DLSU). They also have to study as the students do. I learned that from my parents who are both professors. Why d'ya think out house is bursting at the seams with a variety of books? Another wrong notion is that teachers look forward to the first day of classes with a sadistic kind of pleasure. Ha! It could get kind of scary for us too. I'm meeting complete freshies tomorrow, and some might think that's easy. But nobody could really tell the kind of little devils they might turn out to be. SPREAD YOURSELF THIN This is of course utterly impossible for me if taken...

Book in Hand: Beyond Imagination ( a compilation of fantasy stories) I'm not sure if it's just me, but I just keep making the mistake of thinking it's Friday already. (Okay, okay, it's just me...) I can't believe it's only been two days into the work week. Egad, time crawls around here. GEEKS RULE!!! Last night, I went to Glorietta to attend the 3rd Philippine Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention. How absolutely geeky. :) Norman spoke highly of last year's convention that's why, this time, I promised myself I won't let the event just pass me by. Un-for-tunately, this year's event was just a going-through-the-motion stuff. The G ACtivity Center was a little too small for the convention, and it might also have done better if it was slated during a weekend. Still, it wasn't half as bad as I make it sound. There were lots of booths to browse through, mostly Star Wars art stuff. The best thing about the gathering was that, you could be as geeky ...

Book in Hand: Maskerade by Terry Pratchett Song in Mind: Run by Kitchie Nadal A couple of days back, I was sitting on an unmade bed, overheated and overstressed. And more than that, there was also a weird sensation churning inside my chest. No amount of sporadic coughing could dislodge it. I thought it was my lunch stuck inside there somewhere, blocking an artery or something. Man, I thought I was having a heart attack! But when I realized what it was, I could've welcomed a heart attack more. No kidding. The realization hit me so hard, I had to gasp. Maybe to make sure that oxygen would reach my brains --- hoping it would activate a defense mechanism which could save me. God, I can't be. Couldn't be. I refuse to be. I'm not completely stupid, I'm pretty sure, but geez, I could be pretty convincing sometimes. Technically, I've not yet -- fallen. But so near the edge that the darkness could just slither up one hand to pull me in and I'd be lost. The first time...

Book in Hand: Wala! Sobrang Haven't Opened a Book the Whole Week! Song in Mind: Love Moves in Mysterious Ways ni Nina (Again!) Word in Mouth: Go! Go BLUE Go! Ah! Ganito pala ang pakiramdam ng talunan. Interesting. :) Aynaku, it's not as if I I really, really care for the sportsfest. It's just a series of games and it amazes me, amuses me and annoys me to no end that everyone (esp. my team) should be so competitive about it. I've always hated situations wherein people aren't getting along, silly pacifist that I am. I get embarassed everytime my team wanted to assert something. I don't know. Maybe they were just right to fight for their ideas, but man, the ideas they have naman are so funny *way out there*! Biruin mo, ang fun game eh Paint Me A Picture and they want to ask the harassed hosts of the event, bakit daw kailangan mag-freeze kasi gusto nila ipakitang gumagalaw yung mga bagay para maintindihan daw ano ginagawa. Por diyos! Eh, picture nga eh! The point i...

I heard a song by Noel Cabangon today with "Kagampan" somewhere in its title. The lyrics were written in super deep Tagalog that I cannot understand half of the words but it had a superb over-all effect. There's a line there that says: " Gusto kong mabuhay sa lugar na kagampan ng langit at lupa'y mapayapa... at ang buhay ay giting ang pusod ng bawat hininga.." Niiice. The only time I've ever written Filipino poetry was in high school --- back when I still had to for class. But if I was ever any good, I want to write something just like that. It just has this uplifting effect; I still smile wistfully when I remember those lines. Also, something hilarious happened to me and Ella today. I haven't laughed that hard in weeks! We had our picture taken, or rather, our portraits drawn by this machine we found in the games arcade. It's similar to those Foto-me booths where you go sit inside and pose for a pic. It took us sometime to figure out how to mani...

wahaha! tawa na lang ako... kasi kung iiyak ako at pilantod na nga, eh di sobrang wa poise na yun. at least pag namumula mata mo, you can have the grace of walking straight and erect.. para bang sinasabi na -- damn it, I may cry too much, but that's so I can unload my frustrations and walk with dignity pa rin. eh kung ganito, ang labas mo lang ay -- iyaking pilantod. lakad kampanerang kuba. Had a bit of accident playing basketball last night. I didn't feel the full effect of my sprained ankle until late into the evening. I do walk like the Hunchback of the Notre Dame. I don't know how to thank Ian for driving all the way to Philcoa from our out of the way office just so it'll be easier for me to find a ride. And Eman and Gilda for making me laugh all the way there. Alam mo, Peloy, dearest, ayaw ko na rin ng drama. Punong-puno na ang utak ko. Ayaw ko ng buhay na mala-telenovela. Kaya nga every single day, I try my best to be Smiley-faced Olivia. Pero minsan lang talaga, ...

Oh dear Lord... when the blues bite ya'r leg, sure won't let go easy. Today, I just totally broke down. And I don't mean sniffled and wheezed a bit for drama and effect. I bawled my heart out, sucked all my tears out through the ducts and almost spurted it out my ears. I am definitely not okay today. STill, after my lunch time solo drama in the dorm room of PBSP, I had to assume a certain amount of composure to make it til afternoon. So, I just pushed the emotions out, left myself empty. Empty is a delicious feeling. It just lets you not --- feel. I know I can't make it a habit, which is just too bad, but it's a mechanism that helps me cope now. Played a bit of basketball this afternoon in preparation for the sports fest and I found out I haven't unlearned my 1.25 in sophomore college P.E. although I am a bit out of shape. I managed to become heavier now (for some reason, I just seem to take to expanding as if I'm the universe heading for implosion), but I...