Secrets

I am not a secretive person AT ALL. I give away my own secrets as if they were flyers for distribution. I think it's because it makes me feel a little bit lighter inside --- less burden for the soul. It also helps me think twice whenever I am presented with the opportunity to do something which I know would be heavy on my conscience. Keeps me clean.

This is not the same though for keeping other people's secrets. Asking me not to say anything about it is like signing a contract with me (with just the usual defaults especially if the secret will be harmful to another person). I honor it as if it's iron-bound. That's why I resent people who tells me to keep mum and then proceeds to tell other people about it herself.

Oh well, naisip ko lang.

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I feel the need to unload a couple of secrets off me. Maybe more than a couple. Let's see if it makes me feel any better...

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SECRET #1

I am starting to detest the role I have to play in the house now. I'm both Mum and Dad and Ate to Ella and Ryan. I budget, I dispense advice, I distribute household chores... God, had I also been such a critten of ungratefulness to my parents back then? Those 2 kids just don't get how hard it is. They expect me to be their friend, but that's so much harder to do now that I have to be a voice of authority as well.

Makes my head ache all the time now.

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SECRET#2

Onwards to lighter secrets but I might as well divulge:

I think I might be diabetic now. 2 mornings I took my blood sugar, they were both too high for a pre-breakfast rate. And I thought I was free of buying medicines forever.

Yes, yes, going to a doctor next week.

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SECRET #3

I secretly detest my swimsuit. My dad bought it for me five years ago and it's about the only thing that would fit me. It's blue with flower patterns in it. And it has pant legs. Wearing it, I look like a flower patch that grew legs.

I'm going to the beach tomorrow and I'm too shy to buy a new swimsuit. The mortification to ask for the largest size and have it not fit at all!

The swimsuit I secretly covet is a simple black one-piece much like what professional swimmers wear. Simple, but oh so difficult to acquire. :(

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SECRET #4
I wrote all my short stories and novelettes by hand in high school. I haven't finished any story since then. Even with the advent of the speedy computer, I just cannot reach the end anymore.

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SECRET # 5

Secret Flirting Style:

I boss the guy around and/or I grow wittier by half a mile than normal.

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Secret #6

I have secret crushes on:


Sam Milby - even if he is often pa-cute in pictures and cannot act to save his life. I like the shy aura he exudes when he's in one of those danged variety shows.



Marky Cielo -- he's cute. I really like the eyes of Igorots, parang butones na may buntot. :)


Mo Twister -- Obnoxious, yes. But intelligent.. or even if he's just medium-smart, at least he's got the guts to speak up. A lot of people say he sucks at disc jockeying because he's not updated about the latest popular music, but the music he does deem PLAYABLE hits the spot right on. No Madonna (thank God), no Britney Spears (thank God), or Paris Hilton (there is a God).