Conjecture the Singularity

Now I find out Matt's been married since April this year.

What?? He couldn't even wait for me to get my act together? Hay. What is with all these marrying and hurrying anyway? Is there some one time special promo giving out licenses that I haven't heard about? I don't get it. How could anyone be getting married at this point? What kind of life would they have lived to get there fairly faster than most? By most I mean of course, me.

Yes, I could just be such an immature clod that I wouldn't know love if it hits me on the nose. All those years I have ranted against commitment phobic guys, it's starting to dawn on me that it takes one to know one.

I keep making up other reasons why I'm nowhere near the proverbial mark yet and all of them sounds silly to me.

TOP TEN GUESSES WHY LIV'S STILL SINGLE

1) I'm a genius (hurrah!) for finding out a way to pathologically incise out all romantic inclinations for any type of gender (which is not likely, seeing I still lose my breath when I stare at Matt and a dastardly mushy ditty with the words stars and moon and dreams in it keeps playing in my head while I oggle)

2) I don't like messy feelings --- Shooo! Go away, I'd be in love another day. Maybe when I'm not myself anymore.

3) I am as attractive as a cow-spotted Zimmerin uber couch in an industrial setting (all those thin girls around -- I swear they must be made from machines nowadays)

4) I just don't fit in (which of course could be taken as another pun on my weight issues) (weight issues my arse, honesty is the best policy and I meant obesity-issue)

5) Nobody's figured me out yet --- jewel in the rough and all that slough they feed unattached girls nowadays. Why couldn't I just be pretty the way I am?

6) I keep a pretty good disguise as all-around harmless ditz that absolutely no one takes me seriously.

7) I'm not looking.

8) I've already passed him by and I didn't look.

9) I'm too smart / weird / silly / nice / bad / brown / cute / sweet / bitter / insane OR
I smell like old socks / granma's knickers / peaches after they've gone rotten / (fill in description here)
DARN PHEROMONES!

10) The kid's probably not legal yet.


Take the oddest reason of the whole lot and that's probably it, then. Probably. But seeing I have time on my hands, I can keep conjecturing still. ;)

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