Liv in a Life Well-Lived

I have no idea why I even started writing january drowning. Maybe a part of me believes that I might be too late in this world, but in some other dimension the possibility still exists.

Have you ever felt as if the sea is watching you? That while standing at the shoreline with your gaze transfixed on the glittering surface of the water, somewhere farther beyond what your eyes can see --- the sea is watching. That while you sob or you laugh, while you sing or you whisper softly, somewhere below --- the sea is listening. That while you hurt, at the very heart of it somewhere -- the sea is crying. She does. This is what I have learned. This I'm sure is truth. ONE At the shores of San Pablo, the sand is dark like ground coffee and it is peppered with broken pieces of shells and corals. Sometimes, I squish the sand between my toes. Once,I noticed my feet are pale against the dark ground. TWO I was only ten when I first discovered the cove behind the large boulder at the end of the beach. I was trying to hide from my Nana Josie. I didn't care about getting my pink Barbie shoes wet. I didn't want to go to the hospital. The hospital was where people die. The hospi...

ELEVEN I would've gladly ran away with him. I think, back then, I was actually prepared to say yes immediately if only he asked. But I didn't know the weight he was carrying on his shoulders was heavier than most, and he was grounded by the sheer responsibility of it. He had no ability for flight at all. He started his story by asking for my forgiveness. And for the first time, he told me what I probably knew already but only had to hear. He told me that the sea has more than once drowned him. He fell in so deep there was no surfacing from it. He loved me then, when the Sea led him to me. And ever since, he loved me still. But he also knew we were continents apart (if only he knew how wrong he was!), he had to deny what he believed with all the strength of his soul. He had to live some kind of life, and he tried. But paths aren't always true to the intention, and they lie crooked and they double cross. He ended up lost. I have no idea who Anna was. But he told me she's ...

Why haven't I noticed before that Batangenyos are actually pretty hot ? Well, maybe because I haven't met any one like that in Brgy. As-is being limited as I was to the Elementary School where the motherly principal and unmarried teachers reign supreme. But with this new project trying to assess if Artificial Reefs are viable in the area, I'm working with freaking scuba divers with super buff bods. Well, okay, so not all of them. The Head of the Frogmen of the Coastal Guards looks more like a mini-Erap. Maybe, just one of them. With the loveliest chocolate brown skin. Not handsome, but with shoulders like that, who needs a pretty face? AH. *Olivia drools. * But I'm not finished yet. There's this other guy. Hehe, shorter than I am (surprise!), and he's good-looking. The same chocolate brown skin. Ultra bright smile. He reminds me of someone I know. Maybe somebody I even liked before, I just can't remember who. The tragedy though is that he's already marr...

Book in Hand: Atlantis Rising pa rin Song in Mind: Two Become One by Spice Girls (like, can you believe how old this song is?) Word in Mouth: Wow! Buti na lang! SO. Hah! I'm in Fabulous Batangas City. Uhm yeah. Okay, so nothing's really fab here so far from my comfy bed. But I have to be here because of work, and I will take any excuse to travel. Even if it is sodding work . Anyway, it'll be pretty interesting since I get to freaking " suyod " every coastal barangay from Bauan pier to Manghinao in Bauan tomorrow. It doesn't matter how tiring it will be though, I have one damn good reason to smile. I get to stay in a swanky hotel way beyond my means because WE GOT A FREAKING DISCOUNT from one of our usual partners in Batangas. The moment I entered the door, it smelt like money. And the freaking goodie freebies they provide are so unbelievably lootish. I vow to keep bagging them so they will have to replace it every day and I will get four or five by the time I...

Book in Hand: Atlantis Rising by Brad Steiger Song in Mind: Sleeps With Butterflies by Tori Amos The best thing about leaving the house early in the morning is that I get to smell what our neighbors are cooking for breakfast. Seriously, now that our car’s aircon has broken down and we have to travel windows down, I get to appreciate the distinct smells of pritong tuyo and bagoong whenever we pass by the clump of houses near our place. Hmmm… sarap. I don’t eat breakfast, or rather, I don’t get to eat breakfast because I can’t bring myself to wake up early enough to have time to do that. But I appreciate the smell of food, whatever time of the day it is. Hah. Shoot. I want tuyo and kamatis with toyo . KIDS IN THE GARDEN We don’t use the car everyday anymore because we’re kind of scrimping on gas. But the days that we do take the car are days I get to extend my sleep inside it. Guiltily, I admit I still don’t know how to drive and Daddy still drives for us (I know, I know! I should be d...

Book in Hand: War of the Worlds by HG Wells Song in Mind: Same ground by Kitchie Nadal War of the Worlds IS fantastic. The song Same Ground IS addictive. Ross Geller IS fictional. But epitomizes the kind of guy I want to be with. Of course, late bloomer that I am, I just realized it now. Thing is, he probably does not exist. Not the same smart, sweet, funny and a bit neurotic guy he was on Friends . I've known smart guys who are a bit lacking in the "sweet and thoughtful" factor. I've known sweet guys who just doesn't have the right edge and just end up completely saccharine. I've known neurotic guys... and well, they're neurotic, period. This is probably not healthy, but oh well. Live life dangerously. Hyukhyuk. :) - = - = - = - = - = - = - Anyway, I have been thinking about getting a scholarship for my Masteral Degree. Thing is, I still am a little vague on what degree I want. I do believe it'll be a good career move to study a specialization in Soci...

Obsessive-Compulsive. Who me? Not characteristically. Although I guess there is a tiny sliver of a tendency for me to become one. It is often drowned out by my stronger urge to just wing it, but sometimes, the sliver expands and elongates until it compels me to act... ACT....NOW. Went on an OC streak last night and cleaned my office desk. By that I meant spent three hours and a half filing (yuccch), organizing, throwing away things I don't need anymore. I just wanted to get rid of the clutter because it's clouding my mind. The end result was an amazingly clean desk. I still have to organize some of the remaining loose files in my incoming and outgoing tray, but that's like what? A half hour's work and I've slated tomorrow night for that. I'm so relieved all the mess is gone. Even if work still bites, I can actually breathe so much easier now. I've also been noticing I write slower now, with an urge to perfect the curves of my handwriting. Me. Who could scri...