Liv in a Life Well-Lived

Everybody thought Fight Club was pretty down, right? Chuck Palahniuk has got to be one of the most irreverent contemporary writers I have encountered. He makes me laugh, albeit uncomfortably. You know, like when you find yourself laughing while his characters make a**es of themselves? You shouldn't laugh, but like an itch you can't scratch, everything is futile. Choke is a funny book. Not as great as Fight Club, but y'know, amusing. The story is about Victor who pretends to choke as a part-time job. I think I made a review about the book already. Interestingly, it is now on film with Sam Rockwell in the lead role. I know I should be bored with most of it, but Sam Rockwell is good. He makes the unlikeable character actually like-able. Score that one point down for the anti-hero. I don't remember laughing out loud during the film, there were parts which were quite explicit and crude. But it was really more of the tongue-in-cheek humor variety. But Victor wasn't meant ...

I don't have any pretensions that I'm teaching an all-mighty subject; I have no disillusions about how important I am to be facilitating CWTS. I KNOW that most, if not all students who take the subject are just choosing it because they think it's marginally less evil than ROTC, though both are seen as unnecessary, a waste of time and effort. It's just a roadblock, a minor discomfort to ensure they will graduate on time. I have been teaching for almost 5 years now, and I am so close to giving up on it because it seems every year, the students get worse. This year I had to flunk 3 kids. Oh, now, make it 2. One of them doubled efforts and was given another chance. But I really think it's the height of irresponsibility to flunk something like CWTS. It is not part of your calculated grade, but you will still be rendered an irregular student for flunking out. And what i can't figure out is, even if they are forced to take CWTS, why can't they just put their hearts...

I swear, if I hear the word Herbalife one more time I will scream and start cutting people’s heads off. Okay, maybe… more realistically, I’ll just change the topic. But I am friggin’ fed up with people who talk non-stop about it. In the office, all I hear is, “diet ako eh” or “pahingi ako pills” or “shake lang ako ngayon eh.” What’s worse is, some people are so FIXATED about it that no matter what manner conversation you try to hold, it always somewhat veers towards dieting. I’m all for other people’s healthy living, but not to the point of infringement on my own psychological health. For once, I’d just like to have a healthy conversation inside the office, not necessarily about work, but something a little more substantial than the treacle-y stuff they drink to replace actual healthy eating. Everybody’s starting to sound like the therapists of the Bergdorf Blondes and Fabio. It’s all fabulous, and all, but it’s really getting to be such a bore.

From out of nowhere, I stumbled upon Luivico (yes, not Ludovico) and Alissa and Pater Silvestri. Who are they? All I know is Lui is a boy who cannot see beauty, Alissa is a child feared to be fae-touched, and Pater Silvestri is the Superiore of the Monasterio of San Fabrizo. Don't you get it yet? It's a story! While trying to amuse myself by typing whatever, I stumbled on a tale (all puns intended!). I hope I get to the end. Wish me luck!

I know the world is a much harsher place than my cosseted upbringing allowed me to understand. But I can’t help but wonder if I wasn’t mollycoddled, would I have been led to walk thornier paths as a teenager? Point in case, the 3 teenage girls who I encountered during a jeepney ride to the supermarket this morning. The first one looked about 15 years old and she was wearing an ensemble that Madonna during her younger years would have envied. A green spaghetti strap mini-dress which flutters dangerously close to revealing what color undies she was wearing with the steady whipping air that was buffeting the interior of the jeep. The dress also had rhinestones set around the neckline so low, barely covering her generous breasts out of place with her reed thin body. The full bust would have disconcerted me if it wasn’t painfully obvious that the girl was also around 6 months pregnant. A few yards from where she hailed the jeep, another 2 teenagers of the same age (one was wearing ridiculou...

Today, I caught myself laughing too hard and acting too silly. I know I laugh and am silly most of the time, but my recent actions feel too... incongruent with how I feel at the moment. Laughter ought to come from deep in the belly, I remember the feeling. But the one this afternoon was just like coming from a tin can. So instead of jolly, it sounded closer to hilarity. And I tried and tried to dissect what the freck is wrong with me AGAIN, and I realized it was a survival instinct brought about by one comment from a supposed really good friend. He told me he was avoiding me because he was avoiding drama, and he's got some of his own at that time. It really pissed me off good. And to think I was already tampo because he chose to share his problems with, it seems, everyone else but me. Well, at least now I know the adage "Sorrows divided" won't work with him. If he didn't think I could listen, and he thought I'd be a further damper, then what's the use of f...

THE WAY-TO-GO LIST: Danny Gokey No surprises here. Geeky-looking guy who can sing his soul out? I’ve always been a sucker for it. And given the fact that he’s probably operating on grief as he just lost his wife last month gives him an aww-shucks thing going for him. So sue me. I like this guy. He can sing. He had me when I heard him belting out “Kiss from a Rose” a capella style and really doing it well. My jaw literally fell. He probably won’t win (though I hope he does), but he’s good nonetheless. Lil Rounds This girl ain’t Fantasia, but she has them big pipes to belt music out. I just hope she wouldn’t try to be Fantasia, because that’ll be her death toll ringing. Adam Lambert Judge Kara probably hit the nail right on the head when she said Adam’s performance is strange. He IS weird. But I think that’s what he has got going for him. Nobody can compare him to anybody else because he’s always raring to be original. And listen to his voice. When he reached the high notes on that Garth...

. On a night out with my girl friends, the topic ostensibly and quite unavoidably steered towards lost loves and almost fairytale stories. I was a little dense that day and I just regained my orientation right smack in the middle of M’s diatribe about how stupid it is to cry about boys. I really have no idea what the premise was; I was busy thinking if I should order the four cheese risotto at Marciano’s. But as it happened, she was looking at my side of the table, although I’m sure the question was aimed at the group. Maybe, I was just guilty and felt like she was asking Me. . Well, first, let’s define crying. Crying is a steady flow of tears as opposed to just Tearing Up where your eyes get watery but only a few tears actually fall. Crying though, is much sober than Weeping where you cry and you moan. Rant though is a whole new level of moaning and flailing and tearing hair and banging head against walls. I can safely say, I never ranted about boys and probably never will. But I’ve d...

You know what I hate most? Getting all riled up. I hate competitive sports. I hate contests. Because I'm not good with losing. I don't join any contests I am not sure I have a good chance of winning. So I always win. My attitude takes the flavor away some though. But you'd never know that if you read my conquests on paper. It reads like win to yet another win. But its just really a cowards' conquest list because I just won things I already knew I'll win. But in fairness, if you look at it another way, it's like I choose my battles wisely. I do not enter anything I am not ready for. I do work for my achievements, but just not so much as I would if I was not so selective. Yeah, its true, I appear jolly and nice, most of the time. I think its a self-preservation trick because it hides a temper that can mutilate and searing competition brings it out. Seriously. That's why I had such a short career in debating. I got to be captain of our high school debate team, ...

Dearest Kris, I know who killed your father. Just as commonly believed, they were soldiers, following the edict of a powerful general in cohorts with the Marcoses. But the actual triggerman was never jailed. He was in too deep with a high-ranking official, and those the president freed yesterday were just fall guys. I don't know if it will help you any. But the triggerman, last I heard has died already. He lived a sad, violent life and had it worse than whatever jail had in store for him originally. God takes care of His own, and he has exacted vengeance for you and your family already. I hope you try to be at peace.

Whew! Watching the film felt like an ordeal. Its like going to the dentist and being shown the thousand and one apparatus one can use to inflict pain. I found myself thanking God I haven't fallen in love that bad yet, not enough to drive me insane or scar me for life. Between Vicky and Christina, I relate better to Vicky (played by Rebecca Hall) because of her traditional, safe views. I think that's how I view how love's supposed to go as well. But the real characters to watch out for in the film would be Christina (Scarlett Johansson) and Maria Elena (Penelope Cruz). They go insane as insane can go. And the funny thing is, you don't think they're whacked out while they're doing it. Honestly, mas nairita ako with Vicky. Her delusions with Juan something (played by Javier Bardem) is just irrirtating. I mean, I commsierate with her, but, its clear the thing with Juan-what's-his-name isn't going anywhere. she's just too scared. I would know. I WOULD BE...

A lot of people I know hate waiting. I hate waiting too, usually. I can get very impatient for the slow service behind the McDonald’s counter, or the fruit guy in the supermarket who takes forever to weigh your three pieces of mangoes. But when forced to do it, I often do something to occupy my time. This morning is a good example. I did some grocery shopping and was waiting for my sister to finish her workout in the gym. I haven’t paid my membership yet so I dare not show my face there; I decided to buy an inexpensive second hand book and wait on one of the benches littering the mall. Ikaw ba? What do you think of those people who actually sit around in mall benches? Ako, I always have had a serious mistrust of them. I am aware that they could be husbands waiting for their wives to finish their retail therapy (and a lot of them are), or aged people who needs to sit down every five steps or so. But my perception is that, they are often abused by holduppers and snatchers who sit there a...

It's high noon, I'm working at home and I just found I needed a break. I'm working on a draft of a would-be booklet for a program I have little... I want to say love, but it might be more accurate to say, i have little appreciation of instead. So I blog for a while, hoping I will find inspiration in movement of thought and fingers. The momentary silence just makes me appreciate how silent my neighbourhood is. You can't expect to hear this sounds in the big city. Sabi nga nila, only in the suburbs. This is what I hear: The postman's motorbike just passed and stopped in front of our neighbour's house, two lots away. He's calling out "Tao Po, sulat!" and was answered by a loud, "Para kanino?" You see there are 2 families living in that sprawling lot, relatives but with different surnames. A dog padded by. Seriously. You can hear the "tik, tik, tik" of its steps as it made its way down our street. I hear roosters crowing for noon. ...

Crayola is a French word which means "oily chalk." Ants never sleep. Before toilet paper was invented, French royals use fine linen to wipe their butts. In 1998, Sony accidentally sold 700,000 camcorders that can see through people's clothes. The word "byte" is a contraction of the word "by eight." Two feel comfortable wearing really high heels, buy a pair half a shoe size higher and reinforce with Dr. Scholl's pad. In no time, you'd be looking and feeling like JLo. The search engine Google, take its name from the word egoogooli which means a one followed by a hundred zeroes. Donald Duck comic were banned in FInland because he doesn't wear pants. ISN'T THE WORLD SO INTERESTING?

For a Best Actress win, my first impression was that Kate Winslet is underwhelming in The Reader. Then I remember that when I read the book in college, I was also underwhelmed by the story. Not to say that I didn't like it though. The best that you could get from reading, and now, watching, The Reader is the niggling bothersome feeling which is very hard to shake off. At the very core of the story lies the question: What is immoral? What is evil? Kate Winslet plays Hannah Schmidt, who had an affair with 15-year-old Michael at the onset of the Hitler years. At the end of the affair, she went on to become a guard at Auschwitz and was later imprisoned for 300 counts of murder (the Jews they were guarding). Michael became a lawyer, and at one point, had critical information that could lessen Hannah's term. He knew Hannah was illiterate, which explains why she is so keen on having Michael read to her before they make love. But Hannah's shame about her illiteracy is so deep that ...

Wow. Just Wow. I read the book and it's akin to being sucked into a time space warp which gently deposits you to Cleopatra's time. The author's imagery was so vivid that it felt as if you're walking Alexandria and Rome yourself. I finished the 937-page book in 2 days. I just had to get to the end, regardless of the fact that I already knew what happened. Cleopatra has always awed me since my early adolescence. Here's a woman, not really traditionally beautiful, but powerful and desired by the world's most powerful men. The book just lent me a women's view of what could have transpired during those tremulous times. History has rendered Cleo a whore. History written by men, of course. But what if she wasn't a power-monger, what if she really loved, and what ifher mistakes were all calculated ones to protect her beloved Egypt? You have to give this girl the credit. She did hold on to Egypt, and always had its interest at heart. She brings more ammunition t...

... is the best way to rediscover all the reasons why you love to travel. Seriously, in a job which requires you to be on the move, travel can get downright mundane. The butt-aching land travel, stress inducing airport security, cramped bus or airplane restrooms, barfers, questionable food, even more questionable toilets on the road.... the list goes on. And at the end of it all, there is the general body malaise, where you ache in places you didn't think could ache. But... let's not forget the good things. Right after a long travel, my body may feel tired, but my brain is more active than ever. My mind feels excited by whatI've seen... in my head, I have been through something expanding, glorious... And that's why Paul Theroux's travel writings excite me. He doesn't talk about hotels, and which restaurants to try out. He tells you of the quirky things that only travel will teach you. He teaches you about the drunken seatmate, the long qeues, the incomprehensibl...