Monday, February 12, 2007

In Hidden Places

Book in Hand: Twilight by Stephenie Meyer ( thanks for the gift, Mariel...)
Song in Mind: This single line from a 70's song that goes, "far, far away..."

Life is a little surreal at the moment.

It is a viable defense mechanism to remove yourself from a distressing situation. Since I cannot physically remove what is hurting me at the moment, I let my brain do the excising of what I can control --- emotions. Without it I can numb myself from further pain. At least, I think it works that way.

It was easy to find strength at first. Because it was readily there. Because it was abundant and overt. But after the novelty of being strong has worn off and the necessity to be strong hasn't, I find myself flailing.

Now, I believe what I have to do is to find strength in hidden places.

Under crevices, in hard-to-reach niches, in places that never knew sunlight, within and without.

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