Like the last conscious moment of a person drowning.
That' s how it felt when God decided to give my family one fell swoop.
Friends keep telling me to never question God. He works in ways too mysterious for us to comprehend. I tell you, it's maddening to hold on to faith when you don't understand. To keep believing when you cannot even begin to see why it had to happen to you. To a non-believer, it would look foolish. But my parents' legacy had been strong faith above everything, and I do not intend to fail them by disintegrating into hatred and confusion when what I should be doing is stepping forward to the frontlines which I have inherited.
I believe my Mummy had a hole in her soul when Daddy died. And with her heart in tatters, it would have been a miserable life. I know she tried to hold on for my sister and me. But... God had better plans for her. No more sorrow. No more misery. No more hardships.
She had been God' good soldier, just like my Dad. God just chose to give her the eternity she had earned doing good on earth. He gave her an eternity with Daddy. Together forever now, exactly on Valentine's Day.
Now, it's time for my sister and I to fall into line, to fight their good fight, the one that works light into this increasingly darkening world. And as I have done during their dying moments, I stand straight beside them and their memory, the line of my spine a final salute to my loved ones, brave soldiers of the past.
Rest, Mummy. Thank you for your blessings. I love you with an intensity that can scorch mountains and I know you can feel it in heaven.