Sunday, April 19, 2009

Religious vs. Spiritual

A couple of days ago, Ella asked me if I consider myself religious.

Well, I had to be honest, right? I don't think I am. If religion is an unerring love for verbalized prayer, consistent rituals, and spouting off the name of a saint a minute. No, not like that.

Faith to me is living life and appreciating that everyday is an experience of faith. I pray, I go to Church, I honor rituals, I share, I care, or to sum it up, try to be the good Christian girl my parents raised me up to be.

But I don't pray the rosary every day, I even forget the 3 o'clock prayer and the Angelus a lot. I know I can improve my faith by observing them, but I keep forgetting. Do I feel like God is angry at me for forgetting these things though? No. Because when I pray, I don't use formulae prayers. When I pray, I speak my heart, I talk to God as I would a father. And I think my faith is enriched because of it.

I like to think that God is a little like my own father, who enjoys listening to my stories and prefers I talk to him frankly about my problems. Simple, straight-forward. No incantation-like spells to make Him listen, no arcane ritual to make Him hear me. All I have to do is speak and He'll know.

It's really more like a childish kind of Faith. You just trust. You just bare your heart and soul. Sometimes, you don't even have to speak, you just send up the desire to Him. And I know it when he responds. I don't need to be slain, or profess the stigmata. When He gives me the answer, sooner or later (and sometimes, much later), I sense it.

Is that religious? Or is that more spiritual?

I don't know. But that's my faith. That's my mustard seed. And God increases it as He wills.

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