Sunday, December 16, 2007

The Shimmering

The Grinch Reaper stole Christmas last year from me. Reason to make me believe that it was forever gone from me and I'll never have it back --- my absolute love of the holidays. By this time last year, I was so busy with my lists. I was in hyper mode, personalizing each gift I give. I even made a fuss about the gift wrapping. It must all be special. I was planning Christmas Noche Buena in my head. I was planning what I will do during my work's forced leave period. I loved Christmas.

But now --- ah. I didn't even make a list this year. All I know is that I have this bunch of friends and I'd probably buy them something. So I ended up buying chocolates. My imagination didn't even spark. I finally knew what it meant to be just going through the motions. That is until I finally had to force myself to go inside a toy store for the kids I need to give gifts to.

Give it to Children to make Christmas fun. Shopping for kids brought back that shimmering feeling -- faint but there. I wanted to stop in the middle of Toy Kingdom and bawl my head out. I didn't want to lose the shimmering. I desperately need it back. I wanted to shout "Stay! Don't leave me!" but it faded nonetheless.

I want to prove to myself that its possible to be happy for all the future holidays --- without my parents. I want to prove it coz I don't believe it.

Please, could somebody give me back Christmas?

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