Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Marry Me Not

Congratulate me, I think I’ve just had my first marriage proposal.

Of course, I imagined it a bit differently. I would’ve preferred to have been in a yacht, having dinner at the deck with a perfect view of the moonlit sea. That’s how I imagined it if I was lucky to find a well-to-do guy.

There’s a simpler version though and it doesn’t mean it’ll make me less happier. Sagada lang, overlooking a great mountainscape and the guy I love holding my hand. I don’t care much for that bending-on-one-knee type of proposal, it doesn’t make much difference to me. Besides, I’ll have the trouble of deciding pa if I’ll kneel down with him or haul him up or whatever. Just look me eye to eye na lang and mean it. The ring is important though. I know some girls say it’s ok lang for the ring to follow; but for me, a ring being there would’ve shown forethought. There’s nothing bad about spur-of-the-moment proposals, but I’d feel better if I knew the guy really thought about it and is sure of what he’s asking me.

What I never imagined was that the first marriage proposal I will receive would come from an old man who’s a bit touched in the head. I barely know his full name. I met with him in the office reception area because he claimed to be from the media. That being my job now, I went to him and was disappointed to see that he was that guy we want to blacklist from our events. He looks like your normal wizened fellow until you look into his bloodshot eyes and his manic stare. This time, he brought a familiar (a mousy looking big fellow who looks just as loony as he does -- much like Peter Pettigrew from Hary Potter).In the pretext of asking about PBSP’s Foundation Day, he then proceeded to attack PBSP’s credibility and standing in society. After discussing to me the conspiracies that revolve around the Marcos wealth and not to mention his off-tangent dialogue on poverty as Satan’s spawn, he asked me if I was already married. When I responded on the negative, he went on to say he’s a widow and he’s looking for a wife who can stand with him on his crusade against Satan. “Gusto mo yun?”

I had to fight the urge to stand up and leave them. I can only go so far humoring this lolo. That was it, the meeting is ended.

I asked him if he has any more questions about PBSP and did not wait for their response. I said that since it looks like there’s none, they should just wait for my fax inviting them to PBSP’s Foundation Day. Not. They can die waiting. Which won't be long now anyhow.

His parting shot? Because I was panting after climbing up to the third floor where the reception was he asked, “What is it called again? Obesity?”

To which I firmly answered, “Yes sir, I am overweight. Goodbye.”

Sorry, when it comes to my obesity, I have acquired thicker skin and callused heart. No one, absolutely NO ONE, can make me falter by referring to my weight. Took me years to learn to take it in a stride and no lunatic will get the better of me.

To get this when it’s starting to bother me that I’ve never been in a relationship-- it’s evil. :p Fairy godmother, can’t you find someone a bit younger, less crazy? Yes, I’m sure. I understand you can’t get me Prince William, but don’t give me Mahoma’s lecherous uncle naman.

Hope the next proposal’s golden, I'm counting on it.

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