Things I Will Never Have and It's Alright (2)
Continuation of yesterday's post....
4. A Yes-Friend / The Faithful Sidekick
Who doesn’t want to have a superbly faithful friend? That one person who you could run to and tell all your morbid secrets to and all she/he would say is, “it doesn’t matter, I love you anyway!” It can happen right? But I kind of overdid it, inside my head. Aside from faithful, I also wanted him / her to be blind to my mistakes, supportive to the point of suicide, domesticated more than docile. In short, I wanted a talking, walking shadow --- seen but ephemeral.
But instead of lap dogs, God gave me friends. My friends are the most sober, intelligent people you will ever meet. (Well, let’s re-think sober). They are GOOD. Not to mention practical. And sometimes, the imaginings of wild nights out and professions of undying friendship are nice. But again, not necessary.
It’s enough that they’re still here. It’s enough that they love chatty nights in coffee shops, and dinner in decent and wholesome places, and who disdain cigarettes as much as they do hairy men. It’s enough that I have good friends who knows where the word “frak” comes from and play game boards till the wee hours of morn. I have friends who can teach me how to properly pronounce ensemble, look up the word horny in the dictionary for me, tell me what clothes goes with pink tights (answer: nothing), how to resign from a job, and how to stay. I have friends who call me their little sister, and friends who will watch two movies with me in one night just because it means hanging out with me. I have beautiful friends. None of them says yes to me all the time. But when they say No, it’s usually for my own good. And I would be the word’s most incredible JarJar Binks if I do not feel supremely happy about that.
6. Prince William / Prince Charming
The Prince can kiss my J-Lo a*s.
I didn’t always think this of course. When I was much, much younger, I wasn’t a complete aberration to the female of the species. I also had The List. And on that List, I wrote down all the characteristics of The One. You realize it’s serious when someone capitalizes every other word in her sentence, right?
So this List of the One, expounds on how he’d look like: Tall (my friends snort with derision on this one), fair-skinned, intellectual (he’d have to have glasses), with a swimmer’s body. It describes what he’s good at: Math (first and foremost), proper English enunciation, people (all he needs to do is smile), and world trivia (geek seeks geek). He also has to be kind-hearted, not prone to anger, and given my quirks, he needs to be not easily fazed. He’s the type to send you flowers to show he’s thinking of you, who writes you long, lovely letters of undying affection, and totally committed. Understand this is not the complete list and yet you already know the man I describe does not EXIST. Prince Charming is a fairytale, and his modern counterpart, Prince William is marrying frakking Kate Middleton.
A girl must Revise according to Reality. Through the years, this List was pared down to the bare essentials. Practically all the physical characteristics were shot. Short guys are cute, you know. Smart doesn’t mean he can spout quantum mechanics or Keats in the same breath, and I couldn’t give a damn if you have a swimmer’s body or something more like a flotation device (all the more man for me to handle). The bare essentials have come to this: kind-hearted, smart (I am a firm believer of multiple intelligences), patient, and Decent (there goes the capitalization again). I don’t need violins or dates on yachts or rings with stones as large as a small porcupine (how tacky is that?), I just need assurance, simple affirmations of affection (surprise me) and time together (It doesn’t matter what we do).
I do not need Prince Charming. I deserve someone more real than that. I don’t need a mythic love story. I just need it to be True. And who knows, right? Maybe it could even be You.
To be continued tomorrow….
4. A Yes-Friend / The Faithful Sidekick
Who doesn’t want to have a superbly faithful friend? That one person who you could run to and tell all your morbid secrets to and all she/he would say is, “it doesn’t matter, I love you anyway!” It can happen right? But I kind of overdid it, inside my head. Aside from faithful, I also wanted him / her to be blind to my mistakes, supportive to the point of suicide, domesticated more than docile. In short, I wanted a talking, walking shadow --- seen but ephemeral.
But instead of lap dogs, God gave me friends. My friends are the most sober, intelligent people you will ever meet. (Well, let’s re-think sober). They are GOOD. Not to mention practical. And sometimes, the imaginings of wild nights out and professions of undying friendship are nice. But again, not necessary.
It’s enough that they’re still here. It’s enough that they love chatty nights in coffee shops, and dinner in decent and wholesome places, and who disdain cigarettes as much as they do hairy men. It’s enough that I have good friends who knows where the word “frak” comes from and play game boards till the wee hours of morn. I have friends who can teach me how to properly pronounce ensemble, look up the word horny in the dictionary for me, tell me what clothes goes with pink tights (answer: nothing), how to resign from a job, and how to stay. I have friends who call me their little sister, and friends who will watch two movies with me in one night just because it means hanging out with me. I have beautiful friends. None of them says yes to me all the time. But when they say No, it’s usually for my own good. And I would be the word’s most incredible JarJar Binks if I do not feel supremely happy about that.
6. Prince William / Prince Charming
The Prince can kiss my J-Lo a*s.
I didn’t always think this of course. When I was much, much younger, I wasn’t a complete aberration to the female of the species. I also had The List. And on that List, I wrote down all the characteristics of The One. You realize it’s serious when someone capitalizes every other word in her sentence, right?
So this List of the One, expounds on how he’d look like: Tall (my friends snort with derision on this one), fair-skinned, intellectual (he’d have to have glasses), with a swimmer’s body. It describes what he’s good at: Math (first and foremost), proper English enunciation, people (all he needs to do is smile), and world trivia (geek seeks geek). He also has to be kind-hearted, not prone to anger, and given my quirks, he needs to be not easily fazed. He’s the type to send you flowers to show he’s thinking of you, who writes you long, lovely letters of undying affection, and totally committed. Understand this is not the complete list and yet you already know the man I describe does not EXIST. Prince Charming is a fairytale, and his modern counterpart, Prince William is marrying frakking Kate Middleton.
A girl must Revise according to Reality. Through the years, this List was pared down to the bare essentials. Practically all the physical characteristics were shot. Short guys are cute, you know. Smart doesn’t mean he can spout quantum mechanics or Keats in the same breath, and I couldn’t give a damn if you have a swimmer’s body or something more like a flotation device (all the more man for me to handle). The bare essentials have come to this: kind-hearted, smart (I am a firm believer of multiple intelligences), patient, and Decent (there goes the capitalization again). I don’t need violins or dates on yachts or rings with stones as large as a small porcupine (how tacky is that?), I just need assurance, simple affirmations of affection (surprise me) and time together (It doesn’t matter what we do).
I do not need Prince Charming. I deserve someone more real than that. I don’t need a mythic love story. I just need it to be True. And who knows, right? Maybe it could even be You.
To be continued tomorrow….
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